Can't stop being jealous of husband's cousin - How to stop green eyed monster

globalds

Let me tell you all ...

It is time you try to see it from the other side ....Living with perfection like I do is hard ..Almost a curse ..Never failing ..Never messing up ..Always looking fantastic ..:cool:


What you need to understand is that we don't do this stuff to get you jealous .. perfection like mine, just happens ..I have learned to live with it ..Really you lot should too

trailingspouse

Never compare someone else's outside with your inside.

And there will always be people who are 'better off' than you (however you want to define it) - and there will always be people who are worse off than you.

Don't be jealous of the ones 'above' you, and don't be snobbish towards the ones 'below' you.

alias*alibi

I know how you feel OP. My best friend from school had no ambition to have a career, just wanted to be a housewife and mum. I left school and straight into work whilst she bimbled about on her YTS scheme. She met some guy, fell pregnant, got married etc and we kinda drifted apart over the years. Roll on bluddy Facebook we got back in touch and she now has 3 kids, holidays all the time, always in a London celeb spotting, always buying houses to flip them for profit and now has a 63 plate M sport BMW; oh and she's a stay at home mum whereas I can only afford one child, still renting, drive a 53 plate rover and work 37 hours a week in a job I don't particularly like. I wouldn't mind but I left school to carve myself a future which hasn't particularly materialised whereas she's never been one for a career but living the life of Riley.

I too try not to get jealous but can't help it at times. Plus her husband is very showy and puts really OTT status' on FB for anniversary sand birthdays etc about his beautiful amazing wife etc. I've had to unfollow her posts because it was getting me down and I was questioning everything about my life.

Person_one

alias*alibi wrote: »

I know how you feel OP. My best friend from school had no ambition to have a career, just wanted to be a housewife and mum. I left school and straight into work whilst she bimbled about on her YTS scheme. She met some guy, fell pregnant, got married etc and we kinda drifted apart over the years. Roll on bluddy Facebook we got back in touch and she now has 3 kids, holidays all the time, always in a London celeb spotting, always buying houses to flip them for profit and now has a 63 plate M sport BMW; oh and she's a stay at home mum whereas I can only afford one child, still renting, drive a 53 plate rover and work 37 hours a week in a job I don't particularly like. I wouldn't mind but I left school to carve myself a future which hasn't particularly materialised whereas she's never been one for a career but living the life of Riley.

I too try not to get jealous but can't help it at times. Plus her husband is very showy and puts really OTT status' on FB for anniversary sand birthdays etc about his beautiful amazing wife etc. I've had to unfollow her posts because it was getting me down and I was questioning everything about my life.

I think this post really reinforces the idea that this kind of jealousy arises from feeling unfulfilled or less than happy with your own life, rather than anything to do with the other person.

There_Goes_Trouble

I used to be envious of my best friend. She had it all, great job, great husband, 2 great children and fabulous big house in acres of land. Me - single, low salary, no children, small house in dodgy estate.

I never begrudged her any of it. She's my best friend, I adore her and she's worked hard for it, but I couldn't help feeling envious.

Until her husband cheated on her, left, came back, left again and has spent the last 9 years being a nightmare ex husband. Her job is incredibly stressful and demanding.

I learned to appreciate my life as it is - not perfect, not exactly what I wanted, but happy and very little stress.

Now I never look at other people and wish I had what they have. Instead, I look at myself and am grateful for what I have. Life isn't perfect for anyone, but my life is still far happier than many that I know or read about on here. I will always struggle with the 'no kids' bit but have learnt to cope with that.

alias*alibi

Person_one wrote: »

I think this post really reinforces the idea that this kind of jealousy arises from feeling unfulfilled or less than happy with your own life, rather than anything to do with the other person.

Yes of course, definitely in some ways. But she always had a 'better' upbringing than me and had the latest stuff and got it 'first' so it goes back to our childhood too. Im not sure I wish I was her but had the security her life seems to have if that makes sense. I'd love to feel secure; that's my biggest craving of all.

barbarawright

Why is everyone so obsessed with makes of car? #nondriver. It genuinely baffles me that anyone should judge another person just by how s/he chooses to get from A to B

JIL

I have some very well off in laws, they are happy have lovely children, lots of money that means they don't have to be working long hours and as such have lots of holidays and live life to the full.
For a long time I envied what they had. But I sat back and thought about what I had, followed by a really serious illness and suddenly it was more about what I had rather than what I hadn't.
Count your own blessings, realise what you can change for the better. Live your own life rather than thinking if only.

Tamara_2

Good health being more important than wealth has become a cliche, but the truth of the saying hits you like a sledgehammer when it happens to you. We have the big house in the country (OK, big falling-down house that we're renovating), 2 cars, holidays abroad etc, but when I was seriously ill in 2006 and almost died, all these things meant NOTHING.
One of the happiest moments of my life was when I finally left the hospital, on the mend, and felt the sun on my face and looked up at the blue sky overhead. Not when we bought our house or I bought a new car. Just being alive against all the odds.

NoAngel

OP, I have had similar feelings towards a cousin and a friend of mine who seem to have 'everything' when we have 'nothing'. It's really hard to see past it all. But my husband has much worse issues with the jealousy- I feel envious for a short time but it really gets to him and he cannot understand why they have everything and he has to live in a small house with an old car etc.

We just recently met a baby the same age as ours who has a condition which means he won't survive childhood. And another friend with a baby with other lifelong conditions and we have suddenly become extremely grateful that our little one is healthy and it put everything into perspective.

To be honest, if we REALLY wanted all of these material things, we could find a way. I've got a good education and I could make more money if if really wanted to. But we would compromise our family time. I'm not sure what driving a bigger/more expensive car would achieve. Having a bigger house would be nice, but our neighbour recently had his house repossessed and is homeless- at least we could manage to scrape the mortgage repayments together through the hard times.

My point is look at the positive things in your life and try not to compare with other people. It's hard but honestly you will soon realise how the little things are much more important than owning extravagant things.