Splitting the bills? Is anything other than 50/50 unfair?

highjewelgreen

Hi everyone,

I would really like some advice please. My partner and I are buying a house together and I am a little worried about money matters when we do.

We have the same amount deposit so I am not worried about that but he earns about three times my wage, we both work full time but he travels to work so I will be doing all of the housework, washing, cooking, ironing, making his sandwiches etc in the week. If we paid half of everything it would leave him with a much bigger disposable income and leave me really stretched, do you think it's out of order to ask him to pay a little more than half as I will be doing all of the chores?

Thanks in advance, I am really not sure how I feel about it or if I am being unfair to even think of it.

Person_one

Of course he should be contributing more. Is he suggesting that it should be 50/50? If so, proceed with caution!

highjewelgreen

Thanks for your reply, no he hasn't suggested that. We haven't really talked about it in that much detail. With whatever we do now we always split everything down the middle or there abouts. It feels sort of funny asking him to contribute more.

Anatidaephobia

highjewelgreen wrote: »

We have the same amount deposit so I am not worried about that but he earns about three times my wage, we both work full time but he travels to work so I will be doing all of the housework, washing, cooking, ironing, making his sandwiches etc in the week. If we paid half of everything it would leave him with a much bigger disposable income and leave me really stretched, do you think it's out of order to ask him to pay a little more than half as I will be doing all of the chores?

No, I don't think that's unfair. My partner works longer hours than me and earns more. In terms of the mortgage and bills (excluding food), we have an even split. However, he pays for the majority of the food bill and tends to pay for food/drinks/tickets etc when we go out. As I work fewer hours than him, I have a lot more time so I tend to do the housework, cooking, DIY, etc, so I contribute in other ways.

To be honest, he thinks he's the one who gets a better deal because he doesn't have to do very much housework (I do all of the tasks he hates!) and he thinks it's only fair that he pays more because he earns more (meanwhile, I think I'm the fortunate one because I benefit from a our joint income without having to work the long hours!). Win, win.

sulphate

He should definitely contribute more as he is earning much more.

I earn more than my husband so I contribute more to the joint bills account, basically we have a set amount each per month for spends (which is the same for each of us ), he puts in what he can (varies each month) and I put whatever else is needed to pay for everything which is almost always more than what he does. Anything left after essentials and spends budget goes into our savings.

Hopefully he will be earning more soon but that's the way it is for now.

BigAunty

Seriously, he is commuting so far that he cannot spend 10 mins making his lunch or ironing his workshirts or pick up the hoover at the weekend?!

With one partner, the way we settled this disparity was by paying half of our net wages into the joint account which paid all household bills and if there was anything spare, would be used for social funds/holidays.

With another, we did a fairly proportional contribution based on salaries so if my partner earned x3 the sum, they paid that higher ratio of bills.

For gawd sake agree this upfront - read some of the posts here from women who routinely earn the same or less than their partners but who end up paying the majority of the bills while their partner indulges expensive hobbies and won't lift a finger round the house.

sooty&sweep

Hi
To be honest you need to talk to him about this.
You need to be clear at the start what financial footing you'll be on.
Jen

highjewelgreen

Thanks for the replies.

I will talk to him about it over the weekend. I just hope it doesn't give him a licence to do nothing around the house at all :-)

Out of interest I was thinking that it would be best to keep our separate bank accounts and then open a joint current account and savings account and have a standing order to cover the bills and save, do you think this sounds like a good idea?

Person_one

I wouldn't start off your cohabitation by being his dogsbody by the way. You both work full time, there's nothing wrong with you doing a little bit more around the house if you have more time, but he shouldn't be waited on and never have to lift a finger. If he lived alone he'd have to do it all no matter how many hours he was working and commuting. Adults do housework, that's life!

Tosca3

I couldn't live in a household where one member of the partnership had lots more disposable income than the other.

We always chucked all income into the same pot. Bills get paid, maybe some into savings and the remainder is for fun.

highjewelgreen

BigAunty wrote: »

For gawd sake agree this upfront - read some of the posts here from women who routinely earn the same or less than their partners but who end up paying the majority of the bills while their partner indulges expensive hobbies and won't lift a finger round the house.

Thank you, I will sort it out upfront, I just wanted to have it clear in my head before I bought it up. I didn't want to agree something with him without thinking it through propery.