Splitting the bills? Is anything other than 50/50 unfair?

Person_one

PenguinJim wrote: »

Why is it "your money" and "his money". Are you life partners or business partners?

They're moving in together for the first time, it wouldn't make sense to go 'all in' right from the word go before they know if its going to work out or not.

Sally22_2

I earn more than my partner but we both pay 50% of our individual wages after tax into our joint account and all bills come out of that, its worked so far for the last year!

Person_one

Sally22 wrote: »

I earn more than my partner but we both pay 50% of our individual wages after tax into our joint account and all bills come out of that, its worked so far for the last year!

Well of course its working for you!

ClareTeaches

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

I go with the line of pro rata of total income but it also raise the point of time spent in the house doing housework. If the OP's OH spends an hour each way travelling to work MORE than the OP then should the housework not be split pro rata as well.

I mean considering the OH has less time to do the housework the amount of free time they would have would be less than the OP due to the work constraints.

Yes, this! I think that's a fair way to approach the household stuff and much better expressed that my previous post!

I do think it's fair to spend more time on household stuff if you've more free time out of work/after commuting, which is what I was trying to get at with the idea of doing more day-to-day stuff, while he does other, less frequent tasks.

BUT, the home is still everyone's responsibility - it wouldn't be fair for either person to do no housework or expect to leave the place a tip and that the other person will clean it up "because they owe me" ... Or to think "Oh look, I'll do this to help them out, as I'm feeling generous!"

Mojisola

ClareTeaches wrote: »

BUT, the home is still everyone's responsibility - it wouldn't be fair for either person to do no housework or expect to leave the place a tip and that the other person will clean it up "because they owe me" ... Or to think "Oh look, I'll do this to help them out, as I'm feeling generous!"

I've seen this happen with a few couples who previously shared the housework before the woman took maternity leave and started to do the bulk of it because she was at home. Even after going back to work, their partners still assumed the housework was "her job" and that they should be congratulated for "helping" her do the occasional task.

How we think about housework and the words we use are very powerful.

ska_lover

Person_one wrote: »

If the OP and her partner pay 50:50, they won't be equal financially. He'll be tons better off than she is and have loads more disposable income

Yes, and what is to stop her earning more? I didn't see any mention of children or other factors from stopping her - in which case it is a differente ball game all together with small kids involved, if one only works part time, or is a stay at home parent, then the wage earner should be footing bills - as they are working toward the common goal of raising a family.

It is just a personal thing - I didn't expect many to understand my point of view.

We women have been screaming out for equal rights for years, except, obviously where finances are concerned..some still expect to be 'looked after'.

PasturesNew

ska_lover wrote: »

Yes, and what is to stop her earning more? ...
We women have been screaming out for equal rights for years, except, obviously where finances are concerned..some still expect to be 'looked after'.

Even if in the same job, statistics prove time and time again that women do earn less than men.

And, what if she can't? What if he was a banker and met her when he popped into the local deli and she was serving behind the counter... their eyes met over the bowl of caviar he was buying (and she'd never even tasted) .... and the rest is history?

Seanymph

I think that's really unfair.

My OH earns more than I do - firstly because of the inequalities we face, but also because I have taken gaps out of my career to look after kids, I couldn't do the hours he has been able to do - or work the weekends.

He therefore, now we are older, has managed to keep a job where he now earns more than I do.

I don't want to be 'kept'! Any more than he would want to be 'kept'.

But as a married couple it makes no odds to us who earns what.

If I chose not to work then he'd be fine with that - he wants to work and I'm fine with that.

It is a gender thing in that he gets paid more than I do - but it's not a gender thing in that either of us would be happy to earn more.

(I'd love it!).

And many women on here have said they earn more than their men.

I doubt you'd find many families where everyone earnt equally - but as long as you share responsibility, and both pull together who puts what into the bank shouldn't matter.

ska_lover

PasturesNew wrote: »

Even if in the same job, statistics prove time and time again that women do earn less than men.

And, what if she can't? What if he was a banker and met her when he popped into the local deli and she was serving behind the counter... their eyes met over the bowl of caviar he was buying (and she'd never even tasted) .... and the rest is history?

That sounds like the beginning of an amazing click flick

ska_lover

I have not encountered much gender bias towards men (and earning more for the same job) in my industry - but am aware that it does still go on - and it makes me very angry. I would never stand for that in the workplace, and would demand the same as men, or would find an employer who would pay my worth. Women allow themselves to get treat in this way - if we all moved away from these shoddy employers who enable this type of behaviour, then things might change

I am not meaning to be unfair to anyone, - my thoughts are only my personal opinions of what works and is comfortable, for me and my husband and at the end of the day, everyone needs to do exactly what works for them, and their partnership and whatever your arrangements, as long as you are both happy, then that is all you can ask for, and I have respect for everyone elses views and opinions. You say tomatoe, I say tomato, we are all different in our approach to everything and whatever way people are doing it, doesn't make it less of a ''true partnership''