Splitting the bills? Is anything other than 50/50 unfair?

VickyA_2

DH and I rented before the ultimate commitment of a mortgage. In fact, we were in a house share before getting together so as he pointed out proudly, "We'd sorted out all the financial arrangements before going out with each other!"

Seriously, DH earns slightly more than me so our contributions to the joint account is proportioned accordingly. DH pays in 60% and I pay in 40%. This works well for us.

Callie22

I earn more than my OH so I pay more of the household expenses. To me, that's only fair - there's no point my OH ending up with no disposable income or building up debt because we're splitting everything exactly down the middle.

PenguinJim

Why is it "your money" and "his money". Are you life partners or business partners?

My OH and I have never discussed it, but she knows she's welcome to any of our money at any time. I earn three times her salary, but so what? It's not like she's working less hard than I am. My salary is not my money, and her salary isn't hers - it's ours.

Seanymph

that's my set up now PenguinJim - my OH earns me and a half (at least!) - but his all goes into a joint account - then I spend it

He has now interest in money really, he takes the odd fiver out of my purse for milk at work, apart from that as long as there are fig rolls int he cupboard and the lights go on when he flicks the switch he doesn't trouble himself with it.

Good job I don't have a shoe habit

gunsandbanjos

PenguinJim wrote: »

Why is it "your money" and "his money". Are you life partners or business partners?

My OH and I have never discussed it, but she knows she's welcome to any of our money at any time. I earn three times her salary, but so what? It's not like she's working less hard than I am. My salary is not my money, and her salary isn't hers - it's ours.

This works well if you're both singing from the same hymn sheet and are sensible adults.

I never mixed my finances with my soon to be ex husband as he was a total nightmare with money. With hindsight I did exactly the right thing.

burnoutbabe

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

We did. We couldn't see the point in renting anywhere first when we knew we wanted to get on the housing market. So we bought the house and moved in having never lived together before. Isn't that what the majority of people do?

well no. one rents first to see how you get on when you are living together and just getting on with the day to day stuff. Else you run into issues like this.

Buzzybee90

I've said this before to other people who have asked the same.

I've lived with my boyfriend in rented (so no strings!) accommodation for the past two years. The first year I was a student so we paid half each but he would pay for meals out/ occasional treat (special occasions) as I couldn't.

Fast forward to graduation year, we now share everything. Some people think this is absolutely barmy and I completely respect that and I don't think I'd do it unless I had complete trust in my boyfriend. Luckily we have known each other since small children and have grown up together.

On the face of things we only have one joint current account and one joint savings account (this was my boyfriends that he put my name on too) I also have a savings account with the same total and all the money for the bills is in my name - but that's irrelevant as we view it all as ours. If you are in position where you have complete trust for this person, and he has for you (as you can see, from an outside perspective I suppose I've got access to his money and he hasn't to mine! But that's just the way it worked out) then I'd just go ahead and share everything, especially if you have a view to marriage soon, which we do.

So comparing the two - I feel much more secure and happy that we have made the decision to share what is essentially our most precious possessions, I think it shows complete trust. It's much easier to say go out for a meal, on holiday or even clothes shopping.

He does earn more than me - his salary exceeds mine by about £7000 but neither of us has ever mentioned it, he knows I work hard and I am younger so I can't be expected to match it just yet.

If you want to stay separate then yes of course he should contribute more, I believe you should have the same disposable income, if you're buying a house together then you are pretty committed. I think you paying say a third of a bill and him the other two thirds can lead to big arguments, but when it's the couple paying the whole bill together, the details of who earnt each penny become less relevant.

Also, with housework - you certainly shouldn't be doing it all. There's no reason not to split it 50/50.

Georgiegirl256

burnoutbabe wrote: »

well no. one rents first to see how you get on when you are living together and just getting on with the day to day stuff. Else you run into issues like this.

Well we didn't. :cool: I can see how some people might, but most people I know have just went straight from living with their parents to buying a house together.

I guess it helps if you're singing from the same hymn sheet regarding money from the start though.

Buzzybee90

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Well we didn't. :cool: I can see how some people might, but most people I know have just went straight from living with their parents to buying a house together.

This was certainly the case with a lot (but not all!) of people of my parents age (married in 80s) and before but I don't know anyone that's bought a house in the last 5 years that wasnt living together first.

Them again, I only know one or two people who live with their parents as adults.

littleboo

PenguinJim wrote: »

Why is it "your money" and "his money". Are you life partners or business partners?

My OH and I have never discussed it, but she knows she's welcome to any of our money at any time. I earn three times her salary, but so what? It's not like she's working less hard than I am. My salary is not my money, and her salary isn't hers - it's ours.

^This.Over the years. my wife has worked either full time, part time or not at all while I've always worked full time. Regardless, all our joint income is "ours" and goes into a joint account which we both use to pay bills, socialise etc. Because we have absolute trust and respect for each other, there is no question of either of us abusing that arrangement. The idea of her money and my money just doesn't exist. Personally, I wouldn't enter into a relationship that involved buying a property and living together on any other basis, it wouldn't feel like a total commitment.