Splitting the bills? Is anything other than 50/50 unfair?

sulkisu

I think it also depends on how much you both earn, not just that he earns more. If you are both on a high wage and both have a considerable (or even a reasonable) disposable income once all bills are paid, then 50/50 split can work. However, if one of you is left with virtually nothing while the other has a lot to spend, then that is different.


There is nothing wrong with separate accounts - OH and I have them - you can still pool resources without a joint account.

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

I couldn't imagine expecting my husband to foot more of the bills than I do. He is my partner 50/50 equal in every other way of my life, so why should finances be so totally different?

But surely if your husband earns a lot more than you do then the majority of things will be paid for by him? Or in other words, basically have a household pot which money goes into that covers the mortgage, bills etc based on a percentage of earnings? I guess if you earn the same amount, then 50/50 is fair though.

In our situation, my husband earns about 4 times what I earned when I was working, so a 50/50 split wouldn't have been anywhere near fair, I just couldn't have afforded it. I gave what I could and bought food shops, and contributed by keeping house. Since I was made redundant and subsequently don't work now (personal circumstances) as luckily my husbands wage allows us to do that, for me to take a 'career break' as it were. But IMO that's what you do when you are a team, you support each other, I would totally do the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

burnoutbabe

have you not lived together before? seems strange to just buy a house together before living together AND discussing how you should split the bills.

I do thing its fairer that the person who arrives at home first does more of the cooking. Else you have to wait hours for dinner. Or eat seperately. they can cook something easy some nights (even if just pizza).

But that doesn't mean you need to do all the cleaning - do it at the weekend or get a cleaner. He can buy his own lunch and take shirts to an ironing service.

I'm not sure if you think you should pay less on bills as you earn less or because "you do more". I'd go for the first argument as the one you follow in discussions.

PasturesNew

There's very little effort involved in cooking/washing for two rather than one. Negligible.

I'd make a packed lunch, or not, for him, depending on whether I loved him enough or whether he'd p155ed me off .... and the same with ironing shirts..... if I wanted to do one or two to help him out, then he'd find them ironed, but if he woke up and had to go to work with an unironed shirt that's his tough t1tty and something he should have thought about.

Don't try to be his mother ...... do bits because it's easy, or because you're totally in love with him ... but never feel it's "your job" to do them.

Seanymph

highjewelgreen wrote: »

Thanks for your reply, no he hasn't suggested that. We haven't really talked about it in that much detail. With whatever we do now we always split everything down the middle or there abouts. It feels sort of funny asking him to contribute more.

Well there' future relationship disaster right there!

Really? You have made a huge life commitment, bought a house, signed up to 25 years shared debt? Left yourself unable to make future life choices without his involvement but HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT THE BILLS?

Really? Shouldn't you have sorted these things out before you committed to a house? You appear to be signing up for mothering him - AND paying more than what's fair...

Are you frightened he won't want you if you talk about uncomfortable things? You'll need to you know, unless you plan on being a doormat...

How about you start from a point of him paying all the bills and keeping you and work backwards from there - how will it work if you have children together? Who will pay for the maintenance on the car? How will you fund groceries? Who will pay for repairs? Who will pay for days out?

How much will things cost?

No, you shouldn't pay 50% each. I did this in the first house I bought with a boyfriend, then watched him able to buy clothes, have days out, afford to drive to work whilst I cycled on my second hand bike and I was too young to address it properly and ended up moving out - and having my name on the mortgage for the next four years because Halifax wouldn't move it into his name.

So I couldn't buy anywhere else, everywhere I tried to rent was wary because of my mortgage commitment, I couldn't get a bank loan I needed for a car.

And he, with his higher salary - lived in our house.

Talk those conversations now - work out a percentage into a joint account, if you earn a third of him he pays in two thirds of the money - that account pays the bills, housekeeping, mortgage, insurance etc...

But for God's sake learn from my mistakes and have the conversations now. You are buying a house with this guy - you should be able to have all and any conversations!

Georgiegirl256

burnoutbabe wrote: »

have you not lived together before? seems strange to just buy a house together before living together AND discussing how you should split the bills.

We did. We couldn't see the point in renting anywhere first when we knew we wanted to get on the housing market. So we bought the house and moved in having never lived together before. Isn't that what the majority of people do?

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

We did. We couldn't see the point in renting anywhere first when we knew we wanted to get on the housing market. So we bought the house and moved in having never lived together before. Isn't that what the majority of people do?

Its what I did, and less than a year later I was paying solicitors fees to get out of the mortgage! :rotfl:

Renting is much easier to get out of if it turns out you aren't suited.

Grumpygit

We have a joint account now and it's all pooled - out of which we have the same amount of "spending money" into our own separate accounts to do with as we please.

When we first got together (and even now) I earn more than him, but from the word go, he always paid in half of the bills so a 50/50 split however.......he didn't have any other committments, where I had to pay half a mortgage (till the house got sold) then half childminder fees as I left my ex for him so I actually had less disposable income than he did. Whilst the mortgage finished, I ended up paying for things like a new car for us, trips away, shopping, stuff for the home and that is how I built up debt (it wasn't all on "us" but a good 80% of it)

It was only when we inherited money, paid all of our debt off and bought a house that we pooled.

As for housework, I find that I tend to do the majority, I make lunches every day for us all - that I don't mind doing as I need lunch too and I am not going to spend £5 every day in a shop! The house work is a bug bear of mine, but then I look at the stuff he does - services the cars, bikes, DIY, he put in our new kitchen last year, he moved a doorway, decorated etc so he works in other ways, it's just in clumps of time here and there.

Definitely get it sorted out now when it's all still new and I echo what someone else said....don't end up being his mother!!

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Its what I did, and less than a year later I was paying solicitors fees to get out of the mortgage! :rotfl:

Renting is much easier to get out of if it turns out you aren't suited.

I guess it's lucky we were then! :rotfl: We did debate whether or not to rent first to test the waters, but decided to just plunge straight in!

PasturesNew

I guess the figures really matter though. If a 50/50 split means one's got £50/month after the bills .... and the other's got £1000 ...

If one's got £1000 after bills and the other's got £2000 then it's not so noticeable.