Splitting the bills? Is anything other than 50/50 unfair?

ALIBOBSY

Tosca3 wrote: »

For me that is exactly the point of throwing things into the same pot. We had a joint account from when I was 19. Some of the time I was earning great money, some of the time I chose not to work as I was a main carer for my parents. Other times my husband wouldn't have been able to hold down the well paid job he had if I hadn't been able to keep juggling all the balls in the air at home.

This has been what happened with us. When we first moved in I was on quite alot more than him, then our incomes were about the same, then I was part time and had a period as a SAHM.

We now both work self employed-myself from home. Currently he is the higher earner, but from Sept youngest is off to school so I will be able to do alot more work and my earnings will increase.

The whole point is if you are a couple you need to work together in all aspects of your relationship. We had a joint account from about 3 months in as it was just easier. Don't get why people would want separate tbh. Mind you OH and I were friends first and we are still best friends really so we tend to have simular interests and go out together .

Ali x

Gloomendoom

PasturesNew wrote: »

Even if in the same job, statistics prove time and time again that women do earn less than men

Statistics prove time and time and again that statistics can be used to prove any point that you would care to make.

My wife and I do the same job. We get paid the same salary.

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

We women have been screaming out for equal rights for years, except, obviously where finances are concerned..some still expect to be 'looked after'.

Some people have lower paying jobs, that's not some sort of failing on their part, those jobs are just as important and often more important than the high earning ones.

Its nothing to do with gender. If a woman were the higher earner, or the OP were in a same sex relationship, 50/50 still wouldn't be fair when they're not earning the same.

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

I have not encountered much gender bias towards men (and earning more for the same job) in my industry - but am aware that it does still go on - and it makes me very angry. I would never stand for that in the workplace, and would demand the same as men, or would find an employer who would pay my worth. Women allow themselves to get treat in this way - if we all moved away from these shoddy employers who enable this type of behaviour, then things might change

I don't think you understand how long standing and deeply rooted this issue is. On average, women earn about 75% of what men earn. That's not the fault of those individual women, its a bigger problem and not one an individual can solve on their own!

ska_lover

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think you understand how long standing and deeply rooted this issue is. On average, women earn about 75% of what men earn. That's not the fault of those individual women, its a bigger problem and not one an individual can solve on their own!

Pray tell, how would you suggest these issues are solved, logging on to a forum, jump to conclusions and patronise the heck out of each other?

I do not expect society to solve my problems nor blame it for the way things are - I believe in being more proactive than that and not accepting shoddy treatment

skintchick

ska_lover wrote: »

Pray tell, how would you suggest these issues are solved, logging on to a forum, jump to conclusions and patronise the heck out of each other?

I do not expect society to solve my problems nor blame it for the way things are - I believe in being more proactive than that and not accepting shoddy treatment

Do you really think that people usually have the choice of picking and choosing their employer, even if they know they are being paid less than a man in the same job? How naive.

Most people don;t have the luxury of just hopping into another job, and there are many many more factors at play here that you are either unaware of (which I find incredible) or are choosing to ignore (incredible in another way).

Yes it's great if individual women can make a stand but does changing job actually make a difference? I left my first job because they wanted to pay me less than a man who was less qualified on the grounds that "he has a family to support". I am sure my leaving made no difference to how my boss felt about salaries, though.

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

Yes, and what is to stop her earning more? I didn't see any mention of children or other factors from stopping her - in which case it is a differente ball game all together with small kids involved, if one only works part time, or is a stay at home parent, then the wage earner should be footing bills - as they are working toward the common goal of raising a family.

It is just a personal thing - I didn't expect many to understand my point of view.

We women have been screaming out for equal rights for years, except, obviously where finances are concerned..some still expect to be 'looked after'.

How naive. Most people just can't chop and change jobs willy nilly. Good jobs aren't that easy to find nowadays and for what it's worth, she might be really happy in the job that she's in.

When you're in a serious relationship then you work as a team, so IMO the one bringing in the higher wage should pay more into the pot, and if the situations were then reversed then I'm sure the other partner would step up to the plate and not watch the other one struggle.

It's good that your situation works for you and your DH, but it would be interesting to know if you pay 50/50 because you insist on it (feminist rights and all that!) or your husband insists on it? Obviously not expecting you to answer, just musing!

Any

highjewelgreen wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I would really like some advice please. My partner and I are buying a house together and I am a little worried about money matters when we do.

We have the same amount deposit so I am not worried about that but he earns about three times my wage, we both work full time but he travels to work so I will be doing all of the housework, washing, cooking, ironing, making his sandwiches etc in the week. If we paid half of everything it would leave him with a much bigger disposable income and leave me really stretched, do you think it's out of order to ask him to pay a little more than half as I will be doing all of the chores?

Thanks in advance, I am really not sure how I feel about it or if I am being unfair to even think of it.

I worked out % income vs bills.
I don't think 50/50 is fair, but one paying for everything/most is either. It kills the want to improve and makes one feel like 'kept' spouse.
We don't have just one account, because my OH is rubbish at (and I can see is too busy) to completely see how much money he actually has in his account until he is running low (he has lot of work expenses, vary variable from week to week) so I cannot rely on the fact that when I want/need something there will be enough.
And I am not living by schedule when and how much his expenses arrive or if he had few down the pub.

Although we have no kids and we are both earning, if we had children, our arrangement would be different.

JCP

Person_one wrote: »

Well of course its working for you!

How on earth do you work that out?
They each pay 50% of their net income into the joint account means that the higher earner *is* paying more. Possibly significantly more.
If one has £2000 and the other £1000, the former will pay £1000 and the latter £500 into the account - seems pretty fair to me.

Person_one

JCP wrote: »

How on earth do you work that out?
They each pay 50% of their net income into the joint account means that the higher earner *is* paying more. Possibly significantly more.
If one has £2000 and the other £1000, the former will pay £1000 and the latter £500 into the account - seems pretty fair to me.

The higher earner will always have more left after the bills. In your scenario, one of them has twice the disposable income of the other!