How do you cope when you can't move?

going_nowhere_fast

Oh how i hate living here.

Neighbours have friends round - they cant talk to one another, its necessary to shout.

Counting the days down till i can move. Only two years to go.

going_nowhere_fast

At least they are annoying the other neighbours too - apparently when they slam their front door someone who lives at the other end of the street can hear it.

picket_fence

I feel for you OP I often feel trapped too, but for different reasons. Reading through your thread, it has been cheering to see all the positive responses and indeed your own attitude is wonderful Good luck and keep your chin up x

going_nowhere_fast

Feeling fed up today.

Sick of the area - why do people fly tip round where they live?! The local council takes things away for free if you ring them, there really is no need.

Ive burnt dinner.

Im getting fatter rather than slimmer (my own fault).

Trying to think of a positive.......


Got one, houses seem to be selling quickly round here. Most are only on the market about two month. If it continues like this it will be good when my time comes.

zaramba

have you kept records of the noise, times volumes, type of disturbance etc? Would any other neighbours back you up?
are the council or housing association? Or possibly private rent?

we had neighbours like this, except there was domestic violence involved towards the end that resulted in my partner nearly knocking the bloke out! We kept all these details and asked neighbours to do the same. We reported EVERY event to their tenancy advisor as soon as it was reasonable, so twice daily minimum! And we were amazed to find that 15 of our neighbours in our street and a few from the next had done the same once we had openly admitted to doing it ourselves...
it took 6 months for it to go to court, four visits from the police, one of which was because of the abuse we witnessed, and two lots of neighbours giving up and moving first... But they were removed and subsequently banned from that housing group!
perserverence paid of in the end!
i love where we live but we are ex HA so we have 5 HA properties surrounding us, with two DLG i get nervous when people move as you never know, but all in all only been the one lot that really caused issues!:o
good luck buddy x

findochtywifie

Would it be possible to rent out your current place and maybe rent somewhere better for yourself? You would probably have to downsize but the benefits may be worth it. If you rent to a housing association or LA you have it guaranteed for a fixed term. I hope, whatever you decide, that things improve for you soon.

Teacher2

I feel for you. Living with neighbours from hell must be dreadful. I assume you don't want to move and rent because you want to preserve and/or not lose and/or increase the equity in your present house.

A present day solution occurs to me. What about letting your present house to others who might not be so intimidated by living in the area? Then they will be paying your mortgage leaving you free to live elsewhere. This could be a pleasant rental somewhere nicer while others are paying your mortgage - or perhaps you could even buy somewhere else in the meantime.

When my sister moved to get her children into a good catchment area, the housing market had just taken a dive and her house sale fell through with no replacement. She rented in the new area and the estate agent suggested she let her old house for a while. She was amazed to get £1000 a month for it and let it for a couple of years until the housing market recovered. She effectively became a 'let-to-buy' landlord by accident but you could do it deliberately.

Maat

I really feel for you in your situation. I'm in a private mortgaged house and currently living on benefits due to severe depression. My neighbours also own their own home and they're a nightmare. They don't have loud music on but they do have a couple of elephants they call their children. They just don't seem to be able to breathe without making a racket about it, and the shrill yell of the mother calling upstairs to the kids is dreadful.

I discovered recently that I have misophonia or selective sound sensitivity syndrome and I think a major cause of my illness is my neighbours. Certainly they're my biggest trigger, inducing terror and rage. I used to be able to cope ok with neighbour noise. Now the second they get home (or on school days, a few minutes before they get home) I have music on to shut them out.

I have a stereo (plus two spare in case the prime one breaks down), two mp3 players, two sets of tv headphones, and three sets of specially made earplugs - all to deal with four inconsiderate bullies.

I'm lucky in a way that I live on my own so my having the tv headphones on in the evening isn't an issue. They enable me to forget my neighbours are there, although the fear of hearing them means I can never have a quiet moment on the headphones.

If you think you have misophonia you can find more information about it here: http://www.misophonia-uk.org/. If you do have it that still doesn't excuse your awful neighbours making such a racket, though.

I know so well that break in concentration, the trying to force your brain to focus on what you want it to rather than on the noise. My CBT counsellor is trying to get me to deal with it in a different way. When you try to ignore something it puts it more in your brain. If I tell you not to think about cats what do you immediately have in your head? What you do is to tackle the thoughts and feelings and choose how to think about the issue. I admit I've been struggling with this when neighbour noise has been drilling into my brain, but I'm sharing what my therapist said in case it can help you. I've only had one proper session so it's early days. I've tried thinking things like 'it'll be over soon', 'they don't mean any harm' and 'they have the right to enjoy their home as they wish'.

I hope you can find your solutions, and in the meantime maybe check out local authority and events sites. Your local library should be able to point you in the right direction to find community groups and events to get you out of the house. I know you have to come back home eventually but a few hours where you can forget your troubles will help balance the hell of your neighbours. There are always free and cheap places to go.

Good luck.

happyinflorida

Possibly if you own your house and can't move, rent it out and rent somewhere yourself so you can move?

Bassmunkeh

Ok this is my first time posting on a forum so forgive me if I get the etiquette wrong. We were in a similar position, we hated our house and were desperate to move but were in negative equity. Thought I'd share how we clawed our way out:
1. Remember every Penny counts. We made a star chart opened a savings account and colour coded our stars red for £10 saved etc, so even when saving a few quid we had visible evidence of progress which kept us focused.
2. Sell stuff - we sold stuff by eBay, carboot, gumtree etc - yes we so,d stuff worth loads for very little and Tess it was sometimes upsetting but our desire to move was greater. It's just stuff it's not worth as much as happiness.
3. Worked overtime, tried getting second jobs helped out friends in exchange for dinners.
4. Offered to housesit for friends with a cat, pretty soon we were getting paid to look after friends, families, colleagues homes and pets. We weren't at hone, we got paid a bit and most left wine or beer and thought we were doing them the favour - win win.
5. Offered our friend a spare room for a week or two - she gave us food and the company did us good.
6. Went through our finances with a fine tooth comb, every subscription was cancelled, utilities swapped, looked for lower mobile contracts.
7. Make your own sandwiches, shop cheaply stop buying coffee out.
8. Claim back ppi - even if you think you don't stand a chance we got £1600 from loans closed over 10 years. Can't hamf trying eh?
None of this stuff is new and there is loads of info on this site to help you. The key is to be absolutely determined. We were absolutely shocked at how much we saved. I set what I thought were realistic targets and we smashed them totally. A year later we sold our house and Friday we move into our new one. I thought it would take much longer. The star chart was the thing that kept us the most focused. We hung it in the lounge as a constant reminder. It really helped. Good luck x