Dating outside your race

susieq87

meritaten wrote: »

tbh - one of my nicest boyfriends (way back when in the dim and distant past), was Chinese. I am white Welsh. his family and friends welcomed me as a girlfriend but, I was told in no uncertain terms he would be marrying a Chinese girl and my parents went nuts! the relationship ended when he went back to Hong Kong (sent back I think). he returned a few months later - but I was in another relationship (with my OH) and he went out with and married a very nice Welsh girl! It may have worked with us - I will never know, but the girl he married he is still with, I believe.

Wow, so he didn't marry a Chinese girl in the end! I have a friend who's from Bangladesh who is now married but when she was single she never dated outside Muslim Asians because she said there was no point, her family wouldn't accept anything else

meritaten

Susie - he told me he would never marry a Chinese girl. Too 'subservient' - he liked 'feisty' women! ahhh I have gone all 'reminiscent' now - he was a lovely bloke and if I hadn't met my OH - I would have welcomed him back with open arms! his wife was a girl I knew by sight really (I live in a very small town), and used to see them out and about with the kids. then they moved away - I do hear now and again about him (I still chat with his family when I see them). So am fairly sure they are still together.

1trainer1

susieq87 wrote: »

Wow, so he didn't marry a Chinese girl in the end! I have a friend who's from Bangladesh who is now married but when she was single she never dated outside Muslim Asians because she said there was no point, her family wouldn't accept anything else

Thats a big problem with the Muslim / Asian culture as the family play such an important part in the childrens decisions they come with a lot of baggage.

I know many friends who just wouldnt go out with asians full stop because of this reason.

susieq87

1trainer1 wrote: »

Thats a big problem with the Muslim / Asian culture as the family play such an important part in the childrens decisions they come with a lot of baggage.

I know many friends who just wouldnt go out with asians full stop because of this reason.

I would go out with an Asian man in a heartbeat because I think they are so handsome but I am sceptical for this reason.

If you don't mind me asking, what race you are and your partner

1trainer1

susieq87 wrote: »

I would go out with an Asian man in a heartbeat because I think they are so handsome but I am sceptical for this reason.

If you don't mind me asking, what race you are and your partner

I am an Asian Muslim and she is a Black Christian.

We have had a child recently and have to decided to let her grow up in a loving home with no race or religion so she can decide when she is older

meritaten

Chinese culture can be the same - HIS family accepted me as friend and they were lovely...........but, they could see we were getting serious and they wouldn't accept me as his 'intended'. they were still nice to me - still are. but, it was funny how he had to be the one to go back to HK to sort things out there.
MY family just went all 'Alf Garnett' on me. they wouldn't even meet him! I had to meet him in secret. my friends covered for me when I had dates with him.
he may have been a different race, from a different culture - but, we just had so much in common, got on so well, laughed together and cried together. felt so 'right' together. I thought he had gone back to HK for good - that's what I was told. and my parents 'adored' my new boyfriend. by the time he came back I was engaged. (on the rebound I think now).

susieq87

1trainer1 wrote: »

I am an Asian Muslim and she is a Black Christian.

We have had a child recently and have to decided to let her grow up in a loving home with no race or religion so she can decide when she is older

How does your family feel about this? Please feel free to disregard my question if it's too intrusive.

susieq87

meritaten wrote: »

Chinese culture can be the same - HIS family accepted me as friend and they were lovely...........but, they could see we were getting serious and they wouldn't accept me as his 'intended'. they were still nice to me - still are. but, it was funny how he had to be the one to go back to HK to sort things out there.
MY family just went all 'Alf Garnett' on me. they wouldn't even meet him! I had to meet him in secret. my friends covered for me when I had dates with him.
he may have been a different race, from a different culture - but, we just had so much in common, got on so well, laughed together and cried together. felt so 'right' together. I thought he had gone back to HK for good - that's what I was told. and my parents 'adored' my new boyfriend. by the time he came back I was engaged. (on the rebound I think now).

Love knows no colour. We are all human at the end of the day, just different cultures and upbringing. Did your family not like the fact that he was chinese

1trainer1

susieq87 wrote: »

How does your family feel about this? Please feel free to disregard my question if it's too intrusive.

My family are better now but still not fully comfortable, to be fair I dont see them that often.

Her family were a lot more welcoming apart from her father who wasnt too happy, but now as he is older and not as well he has warmed to me a bit more.

I guess I made a choice and I am happy with my choice but thats was my decision and I do not regret it any second ever of any day

Spirit_2

I am white Irish, and as a young woman (more than 30+ years ago) I had an Indian boyfriend for a time. We were just attracted to each other.

I shared a house with an Iraqi and a Turk at that time we had a multi racial social circle which is how we met.