Dating outside your race

lucym

I haven't used them...just Googled.

http://www.interracialdatingcentral.com/members/United_Kingdom/1

Orlando_Virgin

There is definitely a cultural thing where people will tend to go for people of their own race/ethnic origin. I can only honestly think of one mixed race couple I know (black guy/white woman) but they're perfect for each other and are happily married.

I think someone said it earlier. This is gonna sound odd but I think it's more of a geographic thing? For example, I live in a village where there are only a handful of black families and in my school 95% were white. Whereas if I lived in a city like London or whatever, there would be a lot more chance of meeting different backgrounds/races? It's a strange one. To me your colour/religion etc. don't bother me in the slightest as long as I find you attractive, I think it's just about exposure and who you see in your day to day life and routine.

sterl1ng

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

There is definitely a cultural thing where people will tend to go for people of their own race/ethnic origin.

I disagree, as an asian lady I can honestly say I've never been attracted to asian guys and tend to find I'm more drawn to causcasion guys (but definately not david beckham!!! *shudders*). Few others I know of of ethnic minority are similar whereby they don't seem to date within own race and have gone on to marry those spouses too. Not sure if that's reverse racism - just preference really.

Orlando_Virgin

sterl1ng wrote: »

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

There is definitely a cultural thing where people will tend to go for people of their own race/ethnic origin.

I disagree, as an asian lady I can honestly say I've never been attracted to asian guys and tend to find I'm more drawn to causcasion guys (but definately not david beckham!!! *shudders*). Few others I know of of ethnic minority are similar whereby they don't seem to date within own race and have gone on to marry those spouses too. Not sure if that's reverse racism - just preference really.

Oh yeah I know, that's why I said "tends to be" I bet if there was a survey a very high percentage would be same race couples in the UK. Then there are people who definitely don't want the same race. I think it shouldn't matter, who you fall for is who you fall for.

toniq

I'm british asian, him is british white, I've never had or thought about race when I was dating, I'd get chatted up by all sorts of guys and it truthfully never crossed my mind about attracting a particular race.

Until it is mentioned I never see myself as a race/colour just as me "Toni".

I once mentioned this to him and said do you see me as some asian bird and he said no, he just sees me as his missus.

Maybe don't look so hard and let them find you. Or just smile at them all and see whoo smiles back!

Fluff15

susieq87 wrote: »

I am interested in dating menof all racial background but they don’t seem to be interested in me! I meet alot of attractive men black, white, Asian etc but it seems as though only blackmen pay attention to me. While this is great I would like to explore other races. I have joined match.com andpof but I only seem to get messages from black men and white men butunfortunately the type of white man I am attracted to does not seem interested.I have even sent quirky, funny messages but get no reply.

It probably will be in this case that they just weren't attracted to you and race wouldn't come in to it. However, there will always be those people who say 'I'm not attracted to x race', which is racist, because of stereotypes etc. People cannot write off a whole race as unattractive, just because of the colour of their skin. I'm not saying these men have, but you may find that this could happen and unfortunately people still do. (I'm also not trying to say it's not okay to prefer somebody of a certain look, unless they are fetishising it.)

I would just keep trying - I'm sure the right person is out there for you!

susieq87

Fluff15 wrote: »

. (I'm also not trying to say it's not okay to prefer somebody of a certain look, unless they are fetishising it.)

I would just keep trying - I'm sure the right person is out there for you!

That is why I do not want to join interracial dating sites because I don't want someone to date me because I'm black. I want them to date me because they like me. I do not have a "fetish" for a Caucasian man therefore I am not going to go the EXTRA mile to try and date one. Like you said the right one will come along whether he is black. White, yellow, blue (hopefully he won't be dead, just a smurf)
It's nice to see people's opinions on it though.

sedment

Is there any other social things to try rather than internet dating?? You mentioned you go to the gym, other classes you could try out? Or work socials that you could chat to the chap you have your eye on?
I haven't tried internet dating personally but on both sites that were mentioned, a friend of mine has had lots of bad experiences with men and women just after one thing.

1trainer1

Interesting subject, I am in a mixed race relationship and must admit culture is more important than race but then again the person is the most important.

also a lot of compromise in life but openess about the compromise.

meritaten

tbh - one of my nicest boyfriends (way back when in the dim and distant past), was Chinese. I am white Welsh. his family and friends welcomed me as a girlfriend but, I was told in no uncertain terms he would be marrying a Chinese girl and my parents went nuts! the relationship ended when he went back to Hong Kong (sent back I think). he returned a few months later - but I was in another relationship (with my OH) and he went out with and married a very nice Welsh girl! It may have worked with us - I will never know, but the girl he married he is still with, I believe.