I really messed up this time

cfkp1509

How is your ex ever going to believe a word that comes out of your mouth?

Honestly OP, I believe that you deserve this. You have willingly strung 2 women along with false promises and lies - now there is a child in the mix too!. Do yourself a favour and forget about your love life for a while and concentrate instead on creating a happy, loving environment for your daughter.

19lottie82

So basically, you were seeing two women at once, got caught, and now you're feeling sorry for yourself?

I think I know what will happen here. Your Ex will not give you the time of day, so you will go back to the mother of your child as an "alternative", even though she's not who you really want. Then you will cheat on her with someone else, at some point down the line.

I'm going to be blunt here..........Man up, stop thinking about yourself. Let your ex go, don't lead the other woman along, stay out of relationships for a while and support your daughter.

JoW123

introubleneedhelp wrote: »

Hi all,

Im a long time lurker and reader of MSE and I nowdesperately need your help. As the title states I have really messed up. Forgiveme for the long essay im about to write.



My ex and I had been together since January 2010 andbroke up last year end of march because she found naked pictures of anothergirl in my phone while we were on holiday. I was not sleeping with this girl oreven met up with her it was just flirting and exchanging pictures etc. but myex did not believe me so we broke up. A month after we broke up I startedseeing the girl who I had been flirting with and she got pregnant. During thistime my ex and I were still seeing each other but not talking about gettingback together. I did not know how to tell my ex because I know she would havestopped talking to me and I didn’t want that. Selfish, I know. She was datingother men which she told me about and I started having a relationship with theother girl who was now pregnant.

She gave birth to my daughter in February and wemaintained our relationship. During our time together she fell in love with meand I told her that I loved her but I didn’t, I was still in love with my exwho I was still seeing on and off. Towards the end of March my ex startedtalking about getting back together because we were getting older and she saidthat she was willing to forgive everything I had done previously in ourrelationship because neither of us were perfect but she was willing to put inthe work. She also proposed us spending some time apart for a week or so toreflect on what had gone wrong in our relationship so that when we do get backtogether we wouldn’t have the same problems. I was very scared to tell her butknew that if we were going to make a go of it I would have to tell the truth. Wewere going to meet up at her flat on the first Friday of April, the Wednesday beforethat she asked me to come over to her flat because it was important. When I gotthere she told me that she knew about the baby because someone called her lastnight and told her to look at the other woman’s facebook profile which hadstatus updates saying she loved me and also pictures of the baby.

I denied the relationship with the mother but admitted tothe baby. She started crying and could see that she was really hurt.

Fast forward to now, I broke it off with the mother of mychild as I told her I would and I am trying so hard to get her back. I know I messedup really bad because when we talk about being together she says that mydaughter is going to be a constant reminder of the pain I made her feel. This isthe woman I have always wanted to be with ever since I laid eyes on her, I wasjust so stupid to think I could get away with everything. I have bought herflowers, groceries, a new ipad that she said she wanted but has now changed hermind and I am trying everything. We have been out a few times since she foundout because I want to remind her of how good we are together and we have a goodfew minutes and then we end up fighting. She has now stopped talking to mecompletely and has blocked me on everything so I cannot communoicate with her.

I know I messed up and I really need your help because I don’tknow what else to do. Does anyone think I have a chance to get her back? I knowshe still loves me because she told me, she just doesn’t know if she can getover this.



Please help.

I take it you've never been on the receiving end of being lied to over and over again?? Because if you did you might understand the utter heartache you have caused both these women. If you are any sort of a decent person you would leave your ex well alone, because whether she loves you or not, she actually deserves someone far better than you.

Money_maker

The sort of woman who sends pictures of her naked to your phone is the sort of woman that it would be in your interests to do a dna test. Then support your daughter.

FBaby

The child would be the one reasonI wouldn't even contemplate it Would be way to hurtful selfishly willing for as little contact as possible whilst not being able to accept my selfishness as the child deserve the best from their dad. Would be easier to move on one and for all. That's not even taking account all the lies which probably would kill all the love I might have once felt.

shegirl

Wow,what an !!!!!

So,you break up,see someone else,get them pregnant then start a relationship and tell her you love her when you don't then start cheating with your ex (it is cheating as you say you started an actual relationship with the pregnant girl and told her you loved her),pretend you are not with the mother of your daughter then leave her for the ex and want help to make her want you badly?!

Get real.You don't deserve the love of any woman and should be focussing on the child.

What a joke!

shegirl

Money_maker wrote: »

The sort of woman who sends pictures of her naked to your phone is the sort of woman that it would be in your interests to do a dna test. Then support your daughter.

EDIT: Just remembered they weren't together when that happened so understand the comment now!

aileth

introubleneedhelp wrote: »

I was not sleeping with this girl oreven met up with her it was just flirting and exchanging pictures etc. but myex did not believe me so we broke up.

I would've broken up with you even if I did believe it was 'just' flirting and naked pictures.

introubleneedhelp

Money_maker wrote: »

The sort of woman who sends pictures of her naked to your phone is the sort of woman that it would be in your interests to do a dna test. Then support your daughter.

i have done a dna test and waiting on the results. i honestly did not want her to get pregnant, she already had two kids with two different men who are absent so i am now the third now and i am going to stick around for my child

introubleneedhelp

i know everyone is being honest and i know i should leave my ex alone but i cant. i honestly dont think i will be able to be happy without her. i am always going to be there for my daughter but i want my ex to support me through it. it does sound really bad when you read other people saying it back to you and you are all right she doesnt deserve me.
the mother of my child does not know that i was seeing my ex while she was pregnant. when i broke up with her i told her that i didnt see a future together but would be there for my child. she is the only one who doesnt think bad of me because my ex even said i was the devil.
you are all right, i will try and leave her alone