Help Please - Is life worth living?

*zippy*

Glad your feeling better today SL

Hope you have a good day and get that garage door sorted.

It sounds like you have wonderful children and have done a wonderful job bringing them up on your own, you are right to be proud of them and yourself :T

candygirl

Just read your post and am sending you lots of cyber hugs and positive vibes.I too have been a single parent albeit to 1, so i know partly where you're coming from.You have definitely come to the right place for practical help as well as emotional support.You have achieved so much in bringing 4 kids up alone, and you need to give yourself a massive pat on the back for that alone.:D

Sweet_Sloth

WOW!!!!! I came back on today to check how you were and saw all the support for you here! I'm so glad you felt you could share and that everyone's responses have helped you to feel more positive. Glad you could have a lazy Sun morning in bed with the kids. Enjoy the fresh air and sunshine today while tackling that stubborn garage door...should help you get out some of that physical tension ...You are still moving in the right direction - keep up the good work.

I've recently come across some really good, inexpensive retreat weekend info that might be really useful for you and some of the other gang here for some "me" time.

Now where did I put it????:o I'll have to post it later...

Take it easyxx

lynzpower

Hi there Scorpio lady

So glad you are feeling a bit brighter.

I came accross this http://www.agoraphobia-support.co.uk/1.html maybe it could be another arrow in your arsenal on the bad days, along with us all of course

ScorpioLady_2

Me again!

Today I have felt humbled by the amount of support you lovely people have so selflessly given me.

I fixed the garage door!!!! Then have been out for a walk with the children this afternoon to a local (free) beauty spot which is on our doorstep. The children had a great time and I sat watching knowing that I could log on tonight and gain support and not be quite so alone!

Just going to make the dinner then I'll b back later.

Thank you all again and I'll post later on.

hypno06

Glad you have had a good day - and got that blasted garage door fixed!!!

Hope to see you around later!

wannabedebtfree_2

All I can say is to repeat everything that has already been said......

Life is worth living, I have suffered from depression a few times, and one of the questions the dr always asked was "Have you had suicidal thoughts?" my honest answer was "If you mean actively killing myself then no, but if I could just stop existing without it causing pain to others, then yes" its definately one of those 'stop the world I want to get off' feelings, but they pass, just count your blessings (4 kids makes you very lucky!) and keep on at CCCS, or Payplan, or CAB until someone understands the desperateness of your situation.

xxxxxx

ScorpioLady_2

Just been reading through all your wonderful posts, and no one has even hinted at criticism. I think some of my perspective comes from being brought up in the generation of 'debt is really, really bad', so I beat myself up all the time.
However my life has been, married at 19 (as you did in those days) had 2 children but husband went off with my best friend when the youngest was 3 weeks old! Struggled as a single parent for 8 years, eventually got a job and off benefits, then met and married a 'wonderful' man, who was badly in debt, so I paid off his debts out of the equity of my house (hindsight is a wonderful thing), we had 2 children (18mths apart) but he changed his mind when the youngest was one and went off saying he didn't "want to be a Daddy anymore"!! Back on benefits, then as previously said took a job but was a lot worse off due to childcare, worked my way up the ladder but even with tax credits and a mortgage was only marginally better off. (Anyone who has been in that situation will know that in work you are not always better off)
Anyway that is what finally brings me to my plight.
Oh yes another problem for my self esteem is the way the tv etc portray single parents, as if we are the scourge of society, I didn't choose to be in this situation but feel as if I'm being lumped together with 'benefit scroungers'.
So your supportive comments have been a breath of fresh air for me and are helping to raise my self esteem.
The breakdown/depression/agrophobia are to an extent due to loneliness, money is always tight, I worry too much, wouldn't know what to do with any 'me' time if it was given to me, never go out socially as it would be a waste of money that should be spent for the family or home, holidays too are a 'waste' of money when you haven't got any spare.
I do feel lonely, which then makes me dwell on my own thoughts, which then generate agrophobia and isolation as why would any of my friends want to know a boring, depressive, worried person like me?! Funny really, as family and friends don't offer any support as I always appear to be 'strong' and 'coping so well'! My doctor knows how I feel and always asks the same question about Do I have suicidal thoughts, and no I don't actually think of committing suicide as I couldn't imagine putting my family through that trauma, but I DO want all the stress and worry and loneliness to go away, and can only see that happening by not being here.
I shall go now and get some figures together to post my SOA.

millionaire_in_training

Glad you are feeling a bit more positive. Your friends and family would probably be supportive to you if you let them. I dont always alow mine to know my thoughts but usually when I do they are fab. I have one friend who is in the same situation as me and yourself. She has been left as a single mum with very little support from the father and she is the person whose shoulder I normally cry on and vice versa. I have been on the phone in tears and ended up laughing as we can usually between us find something amusing in the awfulness of things. Sometimes as a lone parent the slightest thing going wrong can knock you for six and if you had someone to share the burden half of the things wouldn't be nearly so bad. So good job you now have us and keep posting and keep reading all the steps and hints to save money as they are amazing. Take care xx

oops_a_daisy

Im a single Mum too Scorpio Lady and can definately relate to everything you have put in your most recent post. I just have the one and she has never seen her father - I havent seen him since I was 6 months pregnant. Im really glad that you have had a good day and are feeling a bit better. You have nothing to be ashamed about and it sounds as though your kids are as well or even better off being in a one parent family compared to some in 2 parent families. What you have done today shows what a wonderful Mother you are - and thats all the matters. The money is the crap that has to be sorted out in between living your life and it will be sorted. Dont beat yourself up over things that are out of your control and dont play the blame game either - it only gets you down.
((((HUGS))))