Help Please - Is life worth living?

flower_72

Hi Scorpio Lady,

To answer your question: yes, life is worth living. Ok, it can be bl***y hard at times but still, well worth it in the end.
You've got your 4 children, you've got a roof above your head and your 2 younger ones. The rest is only money.

I haven't got any more advice than what Hypno already gave. His advice is well worth following. CAB first thing on Monday morning? In the meantime, there's always someone here to chat.

Big hugs
Flower

wherediditallgo

You, while having had a breakdown, are nonetheless well enough to know that you are in difficulties & are trying to address the problems, & the biggest step is realising that. You have children that are healthy & will be less reliant on you as they get older. Although your home is costing you money at the moment, it is still your home. And as for your ex, if he was better than he is he wouldn't be an ex! Life is definitely worth living.

I'm surprised at the CCCS response (they were very good with me & with several other people on this board) - you could trying ringing them again & speaking to someone else, or you could try other organisations for help such as Payplan and National Debtline, who'll also give you free advice. You can also check that you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to. You've done very well to get this far, but it's not over yet - you've still got a lot to contribute to this world.

taka

Hi ScorpioLady

I hope things get better for you but you are in the right place for help and support. I would second what zippy / i_a said about your doctor... does he/she know how low you are at the moment?

You might not be interested in this so feel free to ignore... Have you ever thought about speaking to someone about all this (not specifically the money but the other things in your life)? By that I mean someone like a counsellor? I am currently seeing one and it has been very helpful as the NHS have been very slow in helping. It was mentioned to me by my GP who has also been very helpful. The counselling is via a charity which means I pay a portion of the actual cost of counselling (ie what I can afford). If I could not afford anything I would not need to pay anything - they do not turn people away who cannot pay but would benefit from their help. Perhaps there is something like this in your area too? It has helped me turn my life around.

On the money front I would agree with those above that there are debt help organisations out there which should help you.

Sending you a hug too :grouphug:

Taka xx

Broken_hearted

Life is worth living every second of it. Try talking to your doctor and the CAB one for your stress and the other for your finance. Somedays I get so tired too I could walk under a bus but then I remember it would hurt:rolleyes: so I don't. Knowing my luck I'd only break a leg.:eek:
Chin up theres always an answer.

sammy115

It may not feel like it at the moment, but yes your life is worth living. You have been through a lot and might I add you have kept your head above water admirably over the last few years.

On the firstplus insurance front, keep on at them, if they say no, appeal, and if they say no again appeal again. Keep appealing - my mum did and then went to the insurance ombudsman who said yes. If everyone says no then demand the insurance money be refunded as they should not have covered you in the first instance.

I can't recommend National Debtline enough. They helped me and OH last year.

Keep coming on here and when you are down the wonderful people on here will keep you going emotionally. Please think positive. You have two wonderful kids.

millionaire_in_training

Hi scorpio lady. You are in a state huh!
You have a light at the end of the tunnel cos if you do sell your house then all your debt can be cleared. It's really hard being a single mum. Never enough time, never enough money etc etc. But the rewards are great. When my ex left me for someone else everyone kept telling me 'at least you have the kids'. I didnt take this as a positive at that point but with the help of time and prozac lol I am now glad I at least have the kids. They are everything the rest is just wrappings. Take care and get along and se the doc ASAP xx

ScorpioLady_2

Wow, tears are streaming down my face reading all your lovely replies.

I must, must look at the positives! I have a post-it note on my mirror to remind myself that I am the cornerstone of the family, (both fathers to the 4 children don't want to know), so they all only have me. I have brought the children up with good principles about money, so that accentuates my feelings of failure. (even though on a good day I realise my problems are rooted at sticking with the children and not walking away)

I read somewhere that my family would rather have me alive (and bankrupt) than not here at all. Yes, its the awful dark cloud of depression that gets out of perspective for me.

The CCCS's response was one of humour really, in that they didn't think my problems were bad when I have the amount of equity in the house.

The CAB is difficult for me as I am suffering from agrophobia at the moment.

I have checked I am getting all the benefits I am entitled to.

I am paying £250(minimum payment) per month on the credit card and £183 to First Plus. (If only that insurance policy would pay out!). If I didn't have these two payments I would probably be able to scrape by.

I have been very careful to keep all payments up to date for fear of ruining my credit rating therefore making it impossible to move house. If I ask the Halifax CC to accept token payments will that ruin my credit rating?

I am SO touched by all your kind comments, it makes me feel less alone. Thank you all so very very much.

sammy115

Unfortunately you will have late payments registered on your credit file.. This is from my own experience. I think you need to keep on at First Plus. I cannot stress enough the need for you to keep plugging away at them with regard to the insurance. I know it can be difficult but it took me over 12 months to get Argos Additions insurance to pay out, but they did eventually.

Depression is hard, but it sounds like you have brought your children up well. If they are anything like mine they will reward you many times over later on in life. Don't despair you have achieved so much to be throwing it away now.
Far from their attitude to money making you feel a failure you should be extremely proud!

Selling your house seems to be the sensible option and would take a lot of stress off your shoulders..

*zippy*

Do keep posting here love, if you can't go out at the moment it must be making you feel more isolated, there are always lots of lovely people here you can have a chat, moan or laugh with.

Is there anything you can do to push the house sale? Not sure how long you have had it for sale, but does your agent seem to be making an effort to market your house, we found we did need to keep an eye on that. Would a small price reduction help or trying another agent?

Lynz is good at the house sale stuff, i'm sure she will pop in later with some advice if you need it.

zippy xxx

Prudent

As in a single parent myself and living through some exceptionally difficult circumstances, I can understand your desperation. It is possible though. I have had a long journey from hardship to a comfortable poistion now. A lot of the credit for my quality of life definately goes to mse.

I will let the dfw experts help you with the debts, but my top tip would be to give yourself some free or exceptionally cheap treats and source them through mse. It is very rare for me to pay anything other than a minimal amount for our little luxuries.

In July we shall have:

* free dvd rental for the rainy days we are having just now. Thanks to the freebies board.
* Two free sims with £10 loaded. (freebies board)
* Free trip to the cinema from tickets via the comps board earlier in the year. We want to see Shrek three.
* A theatre break to Manchester (comps board) including 2 nights hotel accomodation. The train was only £25 retrun for 2 from Scotland by following Martins tips and a free rail card (freebies board). This will be paid for by a £25 win from Real People magazine. The answers were posted on the comps board and it was free email entry.

* We are going to spend tomorrow choosing £25 worth of free personalised greetings cards from Moonpig (comps board).

* We are planning making a bumper beach picnic for friends (everything reduced to 10p -30p in local Asda then recipes from OS board. Wine courtsey of a glitch posted sometime back on the Grabbit board.

* Dd has a £25 hmv voucher to spend (comps board).

* We are going to try out my new trainers, shorts and t shirt and a cycle run (posh sports stuff from comps board).

* We have masses of summer reading thanks to a kind freecycler.

* If its fine enough we will go camping with a tent which we got very cheaply at a car boot sale. We have loads of t shirts and shorts from the 25p box from local charity shop, so wont need to bother with expensive lanuderettes while away.

* But if it pours (as its doing now) we shall book into a lovely hotel courtsey of a £100 ebookers voucher (comps board).

I do feel for you and hope this inspires you or simply lets you dream of it getting better.