Help Please - Is life worth living?

ScorpioLady_2

Been reading these boards for ages but only just plucked up the courage to post in this forum.
I am almost 50, and am a single parent to 2 children aged 11 and 13.
For the last 10 years (since my ex left us all) I have been working, (initially making a loss due to childcare), but even with tax credits, have been gradually getting myself more into debt.
I have managed to keep my house which is worth £190K, (owe Abbey £65K) with a secured loan (First Plus, yes I know!!!!!) of £15k and now have credit cards owing £12k.
Due to the horrible stresses etc at work and the pressure of one parenthood (no family support, no ex around for weekend access) I had a breakdown a year ago and have been unable to work since. I am receiving Incapacity Benefit. I am still quite ill but of course the debt aspect is making me worse.
Spoke to CCCS and (with respect) their response was "go away until you owe a lot more!!!"
I have claimed on First Plus insurance but they are wriggling due to the fact I have taken anti depressants in the past.
Having been a single parent twice (the first two children have grown and left home) I think I must have a degree in budgetting (although you'll probably disagree having read the above figures) but even when working, living for nearly 30 years with only one income takes its toll. My ex owes me thousands thru the CSA.
Am trying to sell the house to address the problem but can't seem to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
To date I have no defaults and have a perfect credit rating but can't carry on paying these debts (only keeping afloat due to selling things on ebay!). Can't remortgage due to being on benefits and feel suicidal really, and SO, SO terribly tired of the whole responsibility on my shoulders.
Everything to do with children is so expensive, school trips, uniforms etc etc (Was going to go to the pictures last weekend but it would cost £17.00 for 83 mins...........how ridiculous is that!). Havent had a holiday for 20 years and never ever go out socialising. (Live in a high maintenance very old house wth leaking roof!)
If you've read this far then thank you and I apologise for boring you all on a Saturday evening, but I just don't see that live is worth living at all!

hypno06

First of all, life IS worth living - you have an 11 year old and a 13 year old. They are the same age as my 2 and they are my reason for living every day.

Just because CCCS says no, doesn't mean that you can't do anything about it - have a look on the National Debtline website or give them a call - I think they give you all the info you need to do your own debt management plan.

Or phone Payplan or the CAB - they will be able to help too, I'm sure.

Are you getting all the benefits to which you are entitled - check out www.entitledto.co.uk

Post up an SOA as per Southernscouser's sticky if you can, then we can see if there are any suggestions for cutting back etc that you may have missed.

Keep posting - the support here is phenomenal.

steve700

Life is definitely worth living - just think about your children and how happy they make you, and you them

I'm not a great person for advice on here but having started to read Hypno06's comments, the good advice is already rolling in.

Keep your chin up

lynzpower

I was hovering trying to write exactly what Hypno has put

Life is worth living. it can be bloody hard work though at times, but there are positives! I like to think if my finances hadnt been in such a state, I would never really have hit the coal face and HAD to sort it out. I tihnk you have hit that point too, where you know the current situation cannot continue as it is, its not doing you or anyone any good.

I suggest then you lok at your SOA. Are you not working because you are physically ill, or would you say that depression is part of it? Do you think that getting back to work in some form is something that COULD happen? Or are you not well enough for that?

I have to say, KEEP POSTING LADY you can guarantee someone else will have faced the same situation in some form and can offer help, support, guidance, solutions or just a listening ear to rant at.

Pop your statement of affairs up, and lets see what we recommend.

Love
Lynz
xx

*zippy*

Hi scorpio lady

Sending you a hug :grouphug: sounds like things are tough at the moment. I'm not the best at the financial advice hun, but others will be along soon, please remember that everything is sortable and its just money you and your children are the important ones. Does your doctor know how bad things have got for you?

I don't undestand why the CCCS were unhelpful, you could try them again or perhaps Payplan who are another debt charity. Have you also checked you are claiming all the benefits you can, there is a website

http://www.entitledto.com/

zippy x

Tam

Hi Scorpio,

Hang in there. Big hugs to you.

alwaysonthego_2

Hi, you need to book an appointment with the cab who will be able to advice you. They will help you fill out a monthly expenditure sheet and you will be able to see whats left over and depending on how you feel they will eithr give you the self help debt pack which includes template letters you can use to contact your creditors with lower monthly payment offers or if that daunts you they will refer you to a debt worker specialist, who will do the negotiations on your behalf. Therei s light at the end of the tunnel and I wish
you all the best.

immoral_angeluk

I can't add to the excellent advice about. But please please see your doctor again. It sounds as though you are depressed and need to talk to someone about it.
Please focus on the good things in life. Money is only money. You have 2 children who you have raised single handedly. personally I think you deserve an award...

Sending massive hugs your way x

LJD1_2

Just reitereating what alwaysonthego's said. Make an appointment with the CAB. They really helped a friend of mine who was in a similar situation to you. Take care and hugs to you xx

magentadreamer

Life is worth living, at the moment it might not seem that way but it is. I'd suggest you talked to one of the other charities and see if they can help, if not there is nothing to stop you doing your own DMP or at least seeing if you can get interest rates down a bit. You say you have older children could one of them not have your younger ones for the weekend so you could have a bit of me time?

craftingqueen_2

Hi,scorpiolady,

cccs turn us down ,we turn to payplan and they have been brill. I have 5 children with over 100k in debt,i have to take each day at a time,but it does get better.Especially with all these nice people on here.

cq