Help Please - Is life worth living?

Broken_hearted

ScorpioLady wrote: »

The CCCS's response was one of humour really, in that they didn't think my problems were bad when I have the amount of equity in the house.

The CAB is difficult for me as I am suffering from agrophobia at the moment.

I have checked I am getting all the benefits I am entitled to.

I am paying £250(minimum payment) per month on the credit card and £183 to First Plus. (If only that insurance policy would pay out!). If I didn't have these two payments I would probably be able to scrape by.

I have been very careful to keep all payments up to date for fear of ruining my credit rating therefore making it impossible to move house. If I ask the Halifax CC to accept token payments will that ruin my credit rating?

I am SO touched by all your kind comments, it makes me feel less alone. Thank you all so very very much.

The CCS don't get it at times do they. Could you not negotiate lower payments to give you a vhance to sort yourself out.

Broken_hearted

Damn I must learn to read yes it will damage your credit rating but so would being made bankrupt or falling apart.

jungliemac

You have been brave to do your first post and I wish I could add something to make you feel better ...the advise you have had so far is fab. Many people will read this thread and really feel for you and wish you well but maybe not post as maybe feel there's nothing much more they can say to you , but things WILL get better and life IS worth living. You have so much to be thankful for and your children need and love you with or without money. It's just a case of riding out this tough time and trying to see how things will be in a few months/years. Hang on in there...you know you can do it. Best wishes and I sincerely wish you well.

blackangeluk

Yes, yes, yes life is worth living! Look at the fantastic job you have done so far of raising your children alone and I bet they are a real credit to you as well.

Everyone has posted really good advice already but hang in there and keep posting, you WILL come out of the other side smiling.

Good luck x

In_Search_Of_Me

Big hugs to you. Life can be incredibly tough and it sounds like you've had a long hard battle and its no wonder you're exhausted. From the sound of it you would best getting rid of it with leaky roof etc and it may help you to start afresh. Having said that its exhausting moving! Life is worth living but some days it feels so awful you just have to focus on getting through each day rather than looking long term. Have you seen your GP recently? It may be that your medication needs a tweak & I wonder whether any referral has been made for some support for you via the commmunity psychiatric service & wuth regard to the agrophobia? You have done incredibly well and need to remember that everyone has their emotional limits and reaching them is no reason for shame. Do you have some support around you at all and someone you can talk to face to face? Just hang in there and re the debts would suggest as others have that you ring yound. I suspect that CCCS didnt realise how desperate you felt...big hugs for you and keep posting and dont forget the samaritans are open round the clock if you feel suicidal and need someone to talk to...link here if you need it http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

Sweet_Sloth

From one ScorpioLady to another...Sounds like you are feeling a bit better;)...just wanted to remind you that you are not alone. You should be SOOO proud of yourself for even posting your worries. As a Scorpio you are probably used to dealing with everything alone and find it difficult askin for help. You are prob the rock everyone else leans on in tough times, and feel that you can't let anyone see any perceived "weaknesses". Depression is NOT a weakness - it is ONLY one of many human conditions that can improve!! The black cloud called depression can cause your emotions and thoughts to swing on a pendulum of extremes, and you get trapped in your own head with the vicious circle of guilt, self-effacement, fatigue, and negative thought patterns. I know it is hard to remember the good things about yourself/others/the world when you are feeling this way, but the post-it notes are a great idea...you need more things around you to remind you that things are not so very bad all of the time, even if they are v. frustrating!! Are there any friends/family near where you live who could lend an ear or a hand to help you out? Even taking off the load of everyday things like washing, cooking, and school runs for a week or so could give you a much needed break... Life is a constant state of change - yet it requires balance. I know it seems like one of the great ironies of life, but the balance can be achieved. Try not to think in absolutes - take each situation as it comes and remember that your breakdown was for a reason...Normally when you can't/won't allow yourself to slow down or heed earlier warning signs. It is a last ditch effort by your body/mind to force you to take care of you!! Please be gentle with yourself - it does take time to get healthy again and balance/regain your energies. Please take some of the other advice already given here as it is v. good, especially visiting an understanding GP for referral for counselling - some surgeries even have a crisis intervention team and counsellors offering immediate, short-term help. Check with Social Services at your local council to ensure you are not missing out on help (such as free grants and crisis loans that you pay back as and when you can and with no interest), and please use this site's tools to make sure you are claiming all of your benefit entitlements. You can also try (when you are feeling stronger) to draft some short letters to your creditors advising of your current situation, the new reduced amt you can pay for the immediate future (stating this is a good faith effort on your part to keep meeting pymts), and that you will keep them up to date on your financial progress. Under the Banking and Lending Codes, the FSA has stringent guidelines that set out financial institutions are responsible to do everything they can to work with you before prosecuting, etc. I have just finished my letters in this way and I feel more in control alleviating some of my own stress and depression!! I have over £50k debts and no children, so I have pretty much done this to myself unlike you. You have not asked to be in this situation, you have been a decent, loving, hard-working mum who has put her kids first at every turn, so don't be so hard on yourself!! The agoraphobia can be worked on gently - I know it may seem that the only safe place right now is your home, but once you regain more control and trust again in people and places, you will recover faster than you can imagine. The DWP have an excellent programme for helping people back into work gently - they can even help you get set up in voluntary posts first if the other is too scary to comtemplate right now. Even though work brings its own stresses, most people recover faster and are happier if they feel productive (regardless of what they are doing). The important thing is to try and stay active and try to do things that you enjoy again to help bring yourself out of hiding again. If things do get seriously down, please call the Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org.uk/talk/phoneus.shtm, and if you feel like you may act on anything please dial 999 immediately, or if you can get to your local A&E, please do. Things will improve...take it from someone who knows (depression for 20+ yrs). Sorry so long, but I really can empathise and I want you to get better, not only financially but in every other way. Keep us updated and best of luck.

Midnight_Sky_2

Hi hun,

Just wanted to add my tuppence worth - is life worth living?

Well, in the last three hours you've just made a whole shedload of friends who are all rooting for you and will do everything in their power to make sure that you never, ever have to feel alone in all this. And that, on its own, is priceless...

Just remember hon, when things are looking bleak - and things always look bleaker at night than they do during the day - take a quick look back over this and remember, you are not alone!!

Take a deep breath, and another, and another....

We're all here for you.

Midnight x

reformedEffortMaker_2

Scorpio Lady- Life is definitely worth living!!.
My mum raised me and my sister as a single parent, and sometimes things got very very bad. As a child ALL my clothes were second hand either from Jumble Sales or neighbour donation. I remember using newspaper as toilet roll, living for weeks on corned beef sandwiches and boiling water in a kettle to pour in a basin to wash, instead of turning on the central heating.
I remember having some blazing rows with my mum about why we never seemed to have any money,but looking back on things, I am so truly grateful to my mum for hanging on in there for me and my sis.

My mum often used to go to single mother's networks to meet new people/share tips. Can your Dr not help prescribe something for the agrophobia so that you can do this too?...meeting new people in similar situations will definitely help

Please continue to post your thoughts on here-im sure there will always be someone who can help xx

oops_a_daisy

sorry just noticed your thread ScorpioLady.

the answer to your question YES YES YES YES and YES

I hope you manage ( with a bit of help from your new friends on here ) to get the payment protection to pay out. You are not alone. If you need any help drafting letters you only have to ask and you will get help and support from here. You will not be judged. Is it possible for you to post your statement of affairs for others to have a look at your complete situation and give you some advice ? The people on this forum will help you. You are not a failure. You have managed to bring up 4 kids on your own and put a roof ( all be it a leaky roof ) over their heads - that takes one hell of a strong woman. There is always another way. Keep looking at the post it's and keep reminding yourself of the positives.

Keep posting - there is always somebody around to give you advice or a virtual ((((HUG)))) if thats all you need.

All the best - OOPS

In_Search_Of_Me

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