Have I right to ask the ex to meet the girlfriend

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

So surely it is a good thing that he wants to take his boy on holiday with him. I think the control comes from what your intentions are in regards to the meeting. What do you think you will gain from it? What will you do if it confirms your worries. That's where the control comes in if you were to decide upon meeting her that you refuse for your son to go away with them.

As the father insisted on meeting welshone1's new partner, why wouldn't he expect her to want the same with his GF?

POPPYOSCAR

Mojisola wrote: »

As the father insisted on meeting welshone1's new partner, why wouldn't he expect her to want the same with his GF?

He could have insisted all he liked welshone1 did not have to comply.

Perhaps his girlfriend is refusing, something he has no control over?

Either way the point Fbaby makes still stands.

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

He could have insisted all he liked welshone1 did not have to comply.

Perhaps his girlfriend is refusing, something he has no control over?

Either way the point Fbaby makes still stands.

But she did - probably because she understood why he would ask.

If he asked her, he should have expected to reciprocate.

If the GF doesn't want to meet her BF's son's mother but still expects that mother to allow the lad to go abroad with her, then she shouldn't be surprised if the holiday doesn't happen.

FBaby

It was not about her to comply but her partner. As poppyOscar did if he was happy to do so that's fine but toy can't force someone to do so. It goes both ways. My partner said he would be happy to meet with my ex if he wanted to but ex never asked. His partner never asked to meet me and I didn't want to meet her. We ran into each other couple of times and that was fine but even as a PWC I would have found seating at a table in front of ex and new partner very awkward.

FBaby

Mojisola wrote: »

If the GF doesn't want to meet her BF's son's mother but still expects that mother to allow the lad to go abroad with her, then she shouldn't be surprised if the holiday doesn't happen.

I think that is a totally unreasonable stance. The girlfriend owed OP nothing. She owes her partner to treat his child with respect and dignity not the mother. She doesn't have to prove anything to her. If OP doesn't think she can trust keeping her child are then she needs to take it up with him.

As for whoever wrote about the risk of a nrp going for naps with girlfriend whilst leaving child to get into trouble how judgemental to consider this to be an issue only affecting nrps and nor potentially an issue with pwcs also. I am a pwc but do sympathise with nrps who are considered as no better then teenagers at best.

POPPYOSCAR

Mojisola wrote: »

But she did - probably because she understood why he would ask.

If he asked her, he should have expected to reciprocate.

If the GF doesn't want to meet her BF's son's mother but still expects that mother to allow the lad to go abroad with her, then she shouldn't be surprised if the holiday doesn't happen.

But the girlfriend might not care if the child goes on holiday or not with them.

Who suffers the most in all this - the child.

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But the girlfriend might not care if the child goes on holiday or not with them.

Who suffers the most in all this - the child.

Do children "suffer" if they miss out on a holiday?

POPPYOSCAR

Mojisola wrote: »

Do children "suffer" if they miss out on a holiday?

I think you know what I mean.

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think you know what I mean.

Sorry, I don't. I thought you meant what I said - that the child would suffer if he wasn't taken on holiday.

From the sound of things, welshone1's son is doing alright. She has encouraged his father to maintain contact when it would have easy to let things drift and she has made sure the two men in the child's life have met in a social situation so he has seen them behave like adults in front of him.

cazziebo

Mojisola wrote: »

Do children "suffer" if they miss out on a holiday?

I think they suffer if one parent makes it difficult for them - the child - to maintain a healthy relationship with the other parent. Holidays are part of that.