Have I right to ask the ex to meet the girlfriend

Mojisola

welshone1 wrote: »

When i meet my partner he was not introduced to my kids for 6 months, and my ex made it very clear that he was to know everything about him before he meet my current partner.

Ziggazee wrote: »

Let go love......let go. You can't control this man anymore!!

Why do people think welshone1 is trying to control her ex?

swingaloo

Mojisola wrote: »

Why do people think welshone1 is trying to control her ex?

I cant work that out either. Seems a sill assumption to make about someone who just wants to be sure her child is in safe hands.

duchy

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

I have a real issue with you referring to your child as "my son"

You can't have any safeguarding concerns regarding your son otherwise why would you let him stay overnight at his dad's for one night.

You logic is a bit off there...or you are expressing yourself really badly !

How should a mother refer to a child she gave birth to if not as her son ......... "the child" "the boy" "my offspring" He is her son - the fact he may also be the son of his father doesn't make him any more or less her son. Your "issues" don't compute !! Quite why you'd have an issue about how a stranger refers to their child is somewhat odd and inappropriate though.

duchy

NYGiants wrote: »

To answer the original question..

Yes you have every right to ask, but don't expect him to jump to your demands.

You are no longer in a relationship with your ex so you can't expect to try and control him through your child.

Do you believe that if a couple ARE in a relationship that they DO have the right to control each other then ?

Actually some parents do manage to have a respectful relationship after seperating as they believe it's better for their children-Not all seperated parents are at war.

There's some really odd ideas on this thread- Hopefully coming from people who don't have children !!

duchy

It is very easy to be glib and say all fathers are responsible and will put their child's happiness and safety first but just as all PWC aren't equal neither are all NRPs.

A couple in a new relationship often want time together and a child can be left out or left to their own devices whilst Dad (or Mum) and their new partner go for a "siesta" for example. I think a lot of PWC concerns come from this kind of scenario. We all know that even natural parents still together can leave children asleep in their apartment whilst the parents drink and eat in another part of the complex and that this can have tragic consequences but also there are other scenarios. I once dealt with a case where a NRP who was a supposedly recovered alcoholic took his six year old to Florida. The first night he went on a bender and was sectioned. The child was left alone -if the holiday reps hadn't stayed with him he would have been taken into care-Dad refused to sign consenting to the holiday company to fly him home so the poor kid was stuck in a hotel room for a couple of days (no Disney for him -without the father's consent which he witheld the reps couldn't even take him to the pool let alone to any attractions) until his mother could be flown out to bring him home.

It's no wonder some PWC want some assurances their child will be safe with someone who may indeed love the child but may not make them the same priority on a holiday that the parent with care would though lack of thought or just less experience of caring for a child full time.

It isn't a matter of control but it can be a matter of trust. I see no harm in a responsible NRP reassuring the PWC that they have everything covered.

pimento

welshone1 wrote: »

It was not the court that agreed it was a private agreement made via our solicitors becuase he kept letting my little boy.

Kept letting your little boy what?

pimento

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think it is a separate issue the child never having spent more than one night away then meeting the girlfriend.

If the Op has issues with the father being able to take care of the child I do not see what difference meeting the girlfriend would make, she is not responsible for taking care of the child, the father is.

Is there a particular reason why a seven year old has never been apart from his mother for more than one night?

My (now 21 year old) son had a friend whose mother was so uptight that when I invited him to a sleepover at ours (a 10 min walk from their house) she insisted on staying herself and sleeping on our sofa downstairs in case he woke up in the night and missed her. He was eight.

I thought that was mighty odd, to be honest and often wonder how he turned out.

welshone1

pimento wrote: »

Kept letting your little boy what?

Sorry kept letting him down not turning up for him when arranged, with no call to say he wansnt turning up. When my son wanted to go footie he would not take him and would just bring him back to house and he has been in tears

welshone1

pimento wrote: »

Is there a particular reason why a seven year old has never been apart from his mother for more than one night?

My (now 21 year old) son had a friend whose mother was so uptight that when I invited him to a sleepover at ours (a 10 min walk from their house) she insisted on staying herself and sleeping on our sofa downstairs in case he woke up in the night and missed her. He was eight.

I thought that was mighty odd, to be honest and often wonder how he turned out.

His father does not want him more than 1 night a fortnight that was what he wanted and i wanted him to have more access but he didnt.

FBaby

So surely it is a good thing that he wants to take his boy on holiday with him. I think the control comes from what your intentions are in regards to the meeting. What do you think you will gain from it? What will you do if it confirms your worries. That's where the control comes in if you were to decide upon meeting her that you refuse for your son to go away with them.