Separating - am I entitled to anything?

Blackpool_Saver

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Why? You can still marry before or while you have children, there's no obvious reason why that choice (married or not married) should be removed by making the two states the same.

Why? .... to protect people in precisely these circumstances. Suppose the OP had wanted to marry and the partner chose not to, knowing exactly what they were doing, to use the partner as a housekeeper and then ditch them while protecting their assets.

lostinrates

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Why? .... to protect people in precisely these circumstances. Suppose the OP had wanted to marry and the partner chose not to, knowing exactly what they were doing, to use the partner as a housekeeper and then ditch them while protecting their assets.

Can I suggest debate over this becomes a separate thread?

I'm not sure discussion about it will not hinder op.

neverdespairgirl

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Why? .... to protect people in precisely these circumstances. Suppose the OP had wanted to marry and the partner chose not to, knowing exactly what they were doing, to use the partner as a housekeeper and then ditch them while protecting their assets.

I agree with LIR - but women aren't helpless. They don't have to live with a man and have children unmarried. Choices exist for both genders.

FWIW, I live with my OH and our 8 year old son, and our shortly-expected second son. We aren't married. But no-one made me do it!

honeybean

My heart goes out to you as I was and am in your situation but I had the misfortune of having a nasty ex who would not let me take my children . He even moved last month and he never even told me it was only when one of my children mentioned it in passing I found out.
I miss them every day I have no idea what my ex told them and still struggle with it. I pay my ex maintenance. Be strong if that is what you need to do then do it. I have regrets but my kids know I love them even tho my ex has tried to sabotage my relationship with them the one thing he cannot take away is that I am their mum and I always will be good luck to you sending you my best wishes.

Blackpool_Saver

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I agree with LIR - but women aren't helpless. They don't have to live with a man and have children unmarried. Choices exist for both genders.

FWIW, I live with my OH and our 8 year old son, and our shortly-expected second son. We aren't married. But no-one made me do it!

You are missing the point Neverdespairgirl, when people have mental illness they ARE helpless and laws should provide for this. Not everyone is as forthright and capable as you. I stand by what I said.

However as stated this is not the place to discuss this. If you would like to start a separate thread about it I will be happy to discuss it further.

Good luck O.P.

poet123

OP does your partner know how low you are?

Please take this very slowly and get professional help. I appreciate that if you have been in the "system" and have not felt listened to (which is probably the case if you have arrived at this state of affairs) then it can be incredibly difficult to try to battle on and access the help you need. Enlist your parents and OH, tell them how you are feeling and outline to them what you feel is the only solution. Once they are aware of how you are feeling I am sure they will rally round and help you access the help you so desperately need.

You come across as thoughtful, articulate and loving. It is your mental health that is preventing you seeing that your solution is not the best one for anyone, least of all you.

Please gather up your courage and let those who love you help you to get better.