Separating - am I entitled to anything?

thriftyemma

I need help with my financial situation. I will try to keep to the bare facts. (also, sorry if this is the wrong board)

My OH and I have been together for 7 years. We are not married. We have 3 children, aged 6, 4 and 2.

OH owns two properties, first worth £80,000, no mortgage. Second worth £170,000 with £140k mortgage (this is the house we live in). I am not named on the deeds of either property. I have never paid rent/mortgage/bills.

We have a car each, OH paid for and owns his own car. My car is worth £3,000 of which I paid £2k and OH paid £1k. We have no other assests.

I do not work, haven't in 7 years, as it made better financial sense for me to stay at home to raise the children. OH works, earns roughly £45,000 pa.

I would like to seperate from OH. It is not an abusive relationship, and neither of us has cheated. I would give custody of the children to my OH. I would like to start afresh, but it would be from scratch.

I am terrified of starting again, but I feel it is something I must do. I just don't know where to start. I think I would temporarily have to move back in with my parents, until I found a job and somewhere to live. Would I be able to claim anything, firstly from my OH? And secondly, help with housing, benefits etc? Any advice greatly appreciated, and if I've missed anything out, just let me know. I'm a bit clueless.

shop-to-drop

If your OH has custody of the children I don't think you would be entitled to anything apart from your personal belongings from the house. Maybe he/she will be reasonable enough to offer you something though since you have been dependent on them due to your role in the family for sometime. Would be different if you were married.

RAS

Hi

You do appreciate that if you give custody of the children to OH, you will be paying 25% of anything you earn in child maintenance? It is now called CMA, so do check this out.

If you are under 35 years old, you would only get a shared room rate (enough for a room in a shared house) and that rate would only enable you to rent in the lowest 30% of the housing market. You will struggle to afford it if you are paying CSA.

In the short-term you would get JSA as long as you did exactly what you were told by the JC. If you phone about a job you were told to apply for on-line, you get nothing (sanctions).

Check www.turn2us.org.uk.

I strongly advise that you see a solicitor before you make any decsions at all. You might be allowed to stay in one of the houses until the youngest was 18 years old/finished school.

fivetide

I feel sorry for the kids.

Sorry OP, nothing valuable to add at this point but the way it has been described here is that you simply don't want them...

InsideInsurance

Are you talking about the initial split of assets or are you talking about ongoing maintenance?

When were the properties acquired?

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/f_ending_a_relationship_unmarried_couples.pdf

As an exceptionally crude method, you keep what you each brought into the relationship and you split everything that you got whilst in the relationship. The courts do recognise being a housewife/ stay at home mum as a value to the family unit and so is a contribution that entitles a share of the items.

As you are still on good terms this bit should be fairly simple to do and its the maintenance that you will have to pay to contribute towards the kids that is more complex

thorsoak

If you are leaving your OH with the children, why should your OH be expected to pay you maintenance? In actual fact, your OH would be entitled to claim child maintenance from you. The child benefit/child tax credits would also go to your OH as resident child-carer.

You would be entitled to JSA whilst unemployed, and once you had found somewhere to live, you would be entitled to some housing benefit - it would depend upon your age as to how much you would receive.

I suggest you look at the Turn to Us website - that might be able to give you a clearer idea.

Looks as if you have to really think things through here.

duchy

fivetide wrote: »

I feel sorry for the kids.

Sorry OP, nothing valuable to add at this point but the way it has been described here is that you simply don't want them...

You are absolutely right-Your post had nothing of value in it and was simply unkind.

Would you say to a man separating from his wife that he simply didn't want his kids too ?

You have no idea of the circumstances or how the OP has reached the conclusion she has yet you stuck the knife in.

pmlindyloo

thriftyemma wrote: »

I need help with my financial situation. I will try to keep to the bare facts. (also, sorry if this is the wrong board)

My OH and I have been together for 7 years. We are not married. We have 3 children, aged 6, 4 and 2.

OH owns two properties, first worth £80,000, no mortgage. Second worth £170,000 with £140k mortgage (this is the house we live in). I am not named on the deeds of either property. I have never paid rent/mortgage/bills.

We have a car each, OH paid for and owns his own car. My car is worth £3,000 of which I paid £2k and OH paid £1k. We have no other assests.

I do not work, haven't in 7 years, as it made better financial sense for me to stay at home to raise the children. OH works, earns roughly £45,000 pa.

I would like to seperate from OH. It is not an abusive relationship, and neither of us has cheated. I would give custody of the children to my OH. I would like to start afresh, but it would be from scratch.

I am terrified of starting again, but I feel it is something I must do. I just don't know where to start. I think I would temporarily have to move back in with my parents, until I found a job and somewhere to live. Would I be able to claim anything, firstly from my OH? And secondly, help with housing, benefits etc? Any advice greatly appreciated, and if I've missed anything out, just let me know. I'm a bit clueless.

Since you are not married there is no automatic entitlement to anything.

You either have to agree between you or go to court. You could get help from a Family mediator to agree on things like supporting the children, visiting rights, financial matters. They will help you make an agreement which you can have legalised by using a solicitor. Although most family mediation services charge it does work out much cheaper than solicitors.

Have you spoken to your partner about this? What does he say?

If you went to live with your family then you could claim JSA if you are available for work. No HB/CT as you live with family.

Once you have found a job you might be able to claim some HB and CT if you are on a low income and rent your own place. You would be assessed for the one bed rate of local housing allowance if you are over 35 or the shared room rate if under 35. If you work 30 hours + and are on a low salary you might be eligible for working tax credit. You must discuss child maintenance with your partner.

themull1

Why don't you find a job whilst you're still living with your partner? then you could find somewhere to rent - or would you not be able to rent your ex partners other house?

fivetide

duchy wrote: »

You are absolutely right-Your post had nothing of value in it and was simply unkind.

Would you say to a man separating from his wife that he simply didn't want his kids too ?

You have no idea of the circumstances or how the OP has reached the conclusion she has yet you stuck the knife in.

Wind your neck in.

I haven't stuck any knife in. I left it open for the OP to respond.... as it reads now it doesn't look great for the OP. They may wish to clarify, especially as what might happen re: children will have a big impact on the OP's question of entitlement.

I've made no judgement other than saying I feel sorry for the kids as I would in any break up.

thriftyemma

Thanks for all your replies so far.
I didn't realise I would have to pay child maintenance. If I got a job, it would be minimum wage. Would this have any effect on what I would have to pay?

I was not expecting anything in the way of ongoing maintenance for myself, I was thinking more of splitting assests. OH owned first house before I met him. He bought second house, that we now live in, while we were together. As we agreed that I would stay at home to raise children, I was unable to work, and as such unable to contribute financially. I guess I hoped that would be taken in to consideration. But then, we're not married, so maybe not.

With HB, as I am under 35, it seems I would be potentially entitled to shared room rate. Does this mean I could only use the HB if I was in a shared house? I have no clue how it works.

Fivetide. This is not a decision I am making lightly. I have complex mental health issues, which affect my daily life. I am utterly heartbroken at the thought of leaving my babies, but it is best all round if I do.I understand there will be a huge emotional fallout from my actions, but I believe this way is the lesser of two evils. But that is not what I am seeking advice on.