Letter from School quoting Abusive Language

GobbledyGook

cte1111 wrote: »

I'm not a 'slumbering parent' though. My daughter doesn't access any social networks. We keep an eye on what she is using her mobile phone for (she only got one for Christmas this year). The only computer she has access to is in the lounge and she asks us before she uses it. We keep an eye on how she uses it.

I don't really see why I should be shocked by explicit language, when it is nothing to do with my child.

The problem is the school don't know what parents keep an eye on their child's online activity and which don't - plus even if they did sending letters to some families and not others is very risky and also a logistical pain (much easier to send a letter to either the whole school or a whole class).

It's also not just about slumbering parents, a lot of the time issues are with parents who are not very computer savvy and don't realise what is being said online between children.

There is obviously an ongoing issue with online activity going on and perhaps the school feel that if they just sent a letter saying 'please remember to monitor your children online' parents wouldn't take it seriously. If the language shocks parents then perhaps the parents of the children involved will be spurred into action.

I would be pleased the school are taking an active interest. Too many schools/heads have a "not on school grounds = nothing to do with us" stance.

thorsoak

cte1111 wrote: »

My daughter is in the last year of primary school.

Today I received a letter from the school, discussing a recent problem that has happened with children in her year group. There's apparently been incidents of children being abusive to each other on Skype. The letter reminds us that we need to monitor our children's use of social networking.

So far, so good.

However the letter then went on to show a transcript of a Skype conversation between 2 children. It was really awful, full of swearing, talk of sexual assaults and other words that I would hope my children don't know. I was quite shocked to be sent this by the headteacher. The conversation was explicit and not something I wanted to read.

Do people think it was appropriate for the school to send this out to parents? I was worried that my children might read it and was quite upset after reading it myself.

If this is a transcript of a conversation between two children who are in your daughter's year group, then in all probability she has already heard this converstion - or conversations of this type

I would imagine that the headteacher has forwarded it to all parents so that they are aware of the actual words that these children have been exposed to - not just the "poo, pee, willy" type words that parents might imagine.

Talk it over with your daughter - without showing it to her - tell her that this sort of conversation is WRONG - and then destroy the offending transcript.

cte1111

The conversation referred to bestiality, incest, racism, sexual violence, homophobia, explicit references to oral sex, along with some general childish taunting, e.g. you have no friends and your parents are ugly prostitutes (para-phrasing).

Buzzybee90

cte1111 wrote: »

As I've already said, we monitor our children's online activity fairly closely. I've also talked to them about why this is so and talked to them about being careful online. The main letter was helpful, both to let us know what has happened and to remind us to be vigilant.

However I don't feel it was necessary to deliberately shock the parents of over 60 children, just because 2 were involved in some very unpleasant activity.

It's highly likely they'll have heard it all before so I wouldn't worry too much.

Edit: ok, I take it back, beastiality?! What the hell!

GobbledyGook

cte1111 wrote: »

The conversation referred to bestiality, incest, racism, sexual violence, homophobia, explicit references to oral sex, along with some general childish taunting, e.g. you have no friends and your parents are ugly prostitutes (para-phrasing).

If these things are being discussed by children in your child's year group online then there is a high chance several (or all) will have been mentioned in the playground so your child may have heard these conversations.

lostinrates

cte1111 wrote: »

As I've already said, we monitor our children's online activity fairly closely. I've also talked to them about why this is so and talked to them about being careful online. The main letter was helpful, both to let us know what has happened and to remind us to be vigilant.

However I don't feel it was necessary to deliberately shock the parents of over 60 children, just because 2 were involved in some very unpleasant activity.

You cannot monitor the children your children interact with at school, or who interact with them.

I'd take this as a 'heads up' to parents of children who are being well monitored , and who are more 'well behaved' and who thankfully might be shocked but this, what they are at risk of hearing. It might help you be prepared when they hear this op language if it does trouble them.

If you are so shocked that other children your child interacts with are suing this language and discussion I think that in itself is a worthwhile reason to send it.

fairy_lights

cte1111 wrote: »

As I've already said, we monitor our children's online activity fairly closely. I've also talked to them about why this is so and talked to them about being careful online. The main letter was helpful, both to let us know what has happened and to remind us to be vigilant.

However I don't feel it was necessary to deliberately shock the parents of over 60 children, just because 2 were involved in some very unpleasant activity.

Clearly you take your childrens safety seriously and keep an eye on what they get up to, but unfortunately not all parents are like you. There are probably a fair few who turn a blind up to what their children get up to online, and it's these parents who might just be shocked enough by the letter to start being more vigilant. The school has no way of knowing which parents are the good ones and which ones are the more lax or clueless ones, so from their point of view it would make sense to make sure everyone gets the letter and see's what's going on.

Tanswell88

I think the school was in the right on this one. I think its good that parents are made aware that children aren't as innocent as we like to think they are.
Just because we *THINK* our children wouldn't be like that doesn't mean they wont be prone to bad judgement once in a while - how else will they make mistakes to learn from?

I think the school making the content known is a good idea as it may give some parents who aren't as conscious of their child's online activity to rein their kids in a bit.

Although to say these are primary school age kiddies is shocking.

sulphate

cte1111 wrote: »

My daughter is in the last year of primary school.

Today I received a letter from the school, discussing a recent problem that has happened with children in her year group. There's apparently been incidents of children being abusive to each other on Skype. The letter reminds us that we need to monitor our children's use of social networking.

So far, so good.

However the letter then went on to show a transcript of a Skype conversation between 2 children. It was really awful, full of swearing, talk of sexual assaults and other words that I would hope my children don't know. I was quite shocked to be sent this by the headteacher. The conversation was explicit and not something I wanted to read.

Do people think it was appropriate for the school to send this out to parents? I was worried that my children might read it and was quite upset after reading it myself.

That is exactly why they sent it to you.

Perhaps the parents of the little darlings that had this conversation genuinely believe their kids don't know any of these words either.

HPoirot

cte1111 wrote: »

I'm not a 'slumbering parent' though. My daughter doesn't access any social networks. We keep an eye on what she is using her mobile phone for (she only got one for Christmas this year). The only computer she has access to is in the lounge and she asks us before she uses it. We keep an eye on how she uses it.

I don't really see why I should be shocked by explicit language, when it is nothing to do with my child.

It has everything to do with your child though: unless she sits in a bubble by herself at the school, this is the kind of behaviour that she is exposed to, and of course children of that age pick up from each other.

On the flip side, if you found out your child was exposed to this kind of language and might have been using it herself, wouldn't you want to speak to the school about it? What is so alarming about them being proactive and warning you first?