Letter from School quoting Abusive Language

mrcow

balletshoes wrote: »

you do? in all circumstances? So would you honestly rather not have know at all, because the language offends you, that this was going on in your daughter's year, her peer group?

That's not what the OP said though is it?

If some children had been caught swearing in my class, I can send a note out reminding parents to reinforce appropriate language.

I don't also need to send out a list of swear words with it! Most parents are intelligent enough to understand.

If I did send out a list, I can assure you, by Monday morning, the phones would be ringing in with complaints!

pollypenny

I haven't read the whole thread, but if your paraphrase on page 1 is correct, the language is very shocking!

OP, you are shocked. How do you think the head felt! I imagine she felt she should make all parents aware of the language and concepts going on, especially at a young age!

thorsoak

cte1111 wrote: »

Given that some parents have not noticed that their children have somehow picked up very adult thoughts and language and then chatted away about it on the internet, it seems a little ironic to then assume that they would safeguard a letter from the school so keenly. I'll make sure the letter is well out of my children's way.

I think it's the headteacher's responsibility to ensure that she doesn't inadvertently offend parents but I'm in the very small minority on here.

The headteacher's remit is not to ensure that she does not inadvertently offend parents, but to ensure that parents are fully aware of the offensive language that is coming from the mouths of some of their little darlings! And to ensure that they do something about it.

To put ones hands over one's eyes so that one cannot read it, and go around singing "I won't hear what you are saying la, la la" is akin to the victorians swathing chair table and piano legs in fabrics so as not to offend the sensitive with the sight of bare legs!

But seriously - what do YOU intend to do about it? Are you and your OH prepared to sit down and talk to your daughter about these horrible words and what they mean? And what to do if she is exposed to such nastiness? Or are you going to complain about receiving the letters?

How does the school intend to move forward from this point? Do you approve? Or do you intend to move her away from such influences and homeschool her? Because that is the only way you can keep her "safe" from such obscenities>

larkrisetocandleford

The point surely is that the content was offensive, surely the head needs to get that across to the adults who look after children who took part and the adults whose children may be affected by those children?

OP would you really rather be kept in the dark as to the severity of the issue? If so, then I suspect you are definitely in the minority.

cte1111

Many of my daughter's friends come from traditional Muslim families. I think I'm actually pretty liberal compared to many of them. I guess this is another reason why I'm shocked that the school would think it appropriate to send this transcript.

I don't think that it is definite that my daughter and her friends are having similar conversations. I genuinely don't think that they would be talking about screwing their pets and family members. Whilst I take on board that conversations may well also have taken place in the playground, with the supervision of teachers and other adults it seems unlikely that the children would regularly be able to indulge in such strong language and themes without it being picked up earlier.

balletshoes

mrcow wrote: »

That's not what the OP said though is it?

If some children had been caught swearing in my class, I can send a note out reminding parents to reinforce appropriate language.

I don't also need to send out a list of swear words with it! Most parents are intelligent enough to understand.

If I did send out a list, I can assure you, by Monday morning, the phones would be ringing in with complaints!

they weren't caught swearing in class though - in my opinion the OPs school's situation is a far more serious one, and for that reason I'd have understood why the Head sent the transcript out.

borkid

cte1111 wrote: »

I'm not a 'slumbering parent' though. My daughter doesn't access any social networks. We keep an eye on what she is using her mobile phone for (she only got one for Christmas this year). The only computer she has access to is in the lounge and she asks us before she uses it. We keep an eye on how she uses it.

I don't really see why I should be shocked by explicit language, when it is nothing to do with my child.

You can not oversee your child all the time . Does she never go to a friends house to play or have a sleep over? Do you always walk her to and from school?
Sorry as others have said the school is acting responsibly, forwarned is forearmed.

GobbledyGook

cte1111 wrote: »

I might try to talk to the head about it next week, although probably won't, given that most people think her actions were reasonable. It is very difficult to get hold of the headteacher, as the only time she makes herself available to parents is during the school day, when I am at work. I couldn't ring her when I got home, as I know she is always in meetings immediately after school.

If a Headteacher who sent out a letter about such a serious incident is not expecting parents to be wanting to speak to her then there are bigger problems at the school than the children.

I might not agree with you over the rights and wrongs of the letter and it's content, but if you have difficulty in speaking to the Headteacher about the issue then you'll have my full agreement in a rant!

The school should be fully expecting parents to call with questions about the letter.

mrcow

balletshoes wrote: »

they weren't caught swearing in class though - in my opinion the OPs school's situation is a far more serious one, and for that reason I'd have understood why the Head sent the transcript out.

Okay, so some of my pupils a few years back were sending out inappropriate photos from their mobile phones. They were actually quite shocking.

What do we do?

1. Warn all parents to remind their children over what is appropriate with social media etc with a brief outline of the problem. And contact the parents of the children involved directly.


2. Send out a transcript in the post to every parent in the year group of details of every photo that was taken and where it was taken. So every parent can then link these to the pupils who have been suspended?

Option 2 is a complete overreaction.

Any normal parent or teacher can see that.

There is no difference to the OP's situation.

cte1111

As I've said in previous posts, I talked to my daughter about the issue. I asked her if she had read the online chat herself, she said no, she's not on Skype. We're not planning on going through the transcript and explaining what it means, maybe that makes us prudes, I don't know. I think it could be more harmful than helpful to have us explaining what "hope your brother likes licking your fanny" means.

The school bends over backwards to ensure that parents are all on board with their approach on sex education, for example, as they are aware that some groups would rather this isn't mentioned at all at school. I'm more than happy for the children to learn about this and have spent time with my daughter talking to her about sex, puberty and our bodies. She's also got age appropriate books on the subject. I've read a couple of books from the library recently about parenting tweens. I care very much about parenting my children appropriately. However being a parent doesn't mean I'm not also a person with my own feelings and sensibilities.