talk me down please

mellymoo74

It was them

Just had an abusive Auntie call disgusted he didn't call apparently as MIL is in hospice. Lots of other lovely things said OH put phone down without speaking and is now deeply upset.

I need to not go round.

RAS

OK

So which hospice? You really need to get to speak to them face to face as they can sort unfortunate relatives out. Did when my dad died.

mellymoo74

RAS wrote: »

OK

So which hospice? You really need to get to speak to them face to face as they can sort unfortunate relatives out. Did when my dad died.

Don't know. Need to track it down which is next job.
Can't get my head round them, make it difficult to visit (or impossible) make him leave when other people are coming, then have the brass neck to say that their disgusted he hasn't called or been round?

RAS

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Can't get my head round them, make it difficult to visit (or impossible) make him leave when other people are coming, then have the brass neck to say that their disgusted he hasn't called or been round?

I can, it is precisely planned to do his head in. Had that for years.

Think Napoleon in Animal Farm or Stalin.

mellymoo74

RAS wrote: »

I can, it is precisely planned to do his head in. Had that for years.

Think Napoleon in Animal Farm or Stalin.

Hospices won't say. Apparently due to data protection lol.
Ask the family.
Ok
Next plan drop into hospices

mellymoo74

RAS how did you cope? I am seriously going to need to get something in place for him and this is outside of my understanding.
My upbringing wasn't perfect (schizophrenic mother) but this is something else entirely.

mellymoo74

Right I have emailed nice nephew and asked which one.
It's polite but makes my feelings clear.
Giving him till tonight then I'm going to call the hospices again and ask them to pass a message on as they won't tell me if she's there

mellymoo74

He cried himself to sleep. Just got up, mood is foul.
I have put all the furniture back following couch delivery. He had to try really hard to find something to !!!!! about, he managed it tho. In living room out the way.

CRANKY40

The real villain in all of this is becoming more and more obvious. How can he visit when he doesn't know where his mother is or when she was taken there. In the meantime, evil tongues are whispering in his mother's ear "he hasn't been, he doesn't care". If hell is real that one is going straight there!

RAS

mellymoo74 wrote: »

RAS how did you cope? I am seriously going to need to get something in place for him and this is outside of my understanding.

I did not mellymoo; well sort of on the outside but was all over the place for a long time.

Things like I could not cope with anything nice as I assumed "they" would find out how awful I was etc. For a long long time I took responsibility for things that others had done wrong; there are ways of making other parties "collude" in your misdemenours except some were more than that.

I recall someone being nice to me and just bursting into tears because it was so scary.

Difficult to describe on a public forum but I had to give evidence and I was convinced I would be shredded because of all the things other people had done wrong many years before that had nothing to do with the case. That was the breakthrough.

I had however several year's therapy behind me and had learned something called focusing by then. That enabled me to sit with the feelings and understand.