We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

talk me down please

Options
14142444647394

Comments

  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 25 March 2015 at 1:00PM
    It was them

    Just had an abusive Auntie call disgusted he didn't call apparently as MIL is in hospice. Lots of other lovely things said OH put phone down without speaking and is now deeply upset.

    I need to not go round.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    OK

    So which hospice? You really need to get to speak to them face to face as they can sort unfortunate relatives out. Did when my dad died.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    RAS wrote: »
    OK

    So which hospice? You really need to get to speak to them face to face as they can sort unfortunate relatives out. Did when my dad died.

    Don't know. Need to track it down which is next job.
    Can't get my head round them, make it difficult to visit (or impossible) make him leave when other people are coming, then have the brass neck to say that their disgusted he hasn't called or been round?
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    mellymoo74 wrote: »
    Can't get my head round them, make it difficult to visit (or impossible) make him leave when other people are coming, then have the brass neck to say that their disgusted he hasn't called or been round?

    I can, it is precisely planned to do his head in. Had that for years.

    Think Napoleon in Animal Farm or Stalin.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    RAS wrote: »
    I can, it is precisely planned to do his head in. Had that for years.

    Think Napoleon in Animal Farm or Stalin.

    Hospices won't say. Apparently due to data protection lol.
    Ask the family.
    Ok
    Next plan drop into hospices
  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    RAS how did you cope? I am seriously going to need to get something in place for him and this is outside of my understanding.
    My upbringing wasn't perfect (schizophrenic mother) but this is something else entirely.
  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Right I have emailed nice nephew and asked which one.
    It's polite but makes my feelings clear.
    Giving him till tonight then I'm going to call the hospices again and ask them to pass a message on as they won't tell me if she's there
  • mellymoo74
    mellymoo74 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    He cried himself to sleep. Just got up, mood is foul.
    I have put all the furniture back following couch delivery. He had to try really hard to find something to !!!!! about, he managed it tho. In living room out the way.
  • CRANKY40
    CRANKY40 Posts: 5,908 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Debt-free and Proud! Name Dropper
    The real villain in all of this is becoming more and more obvious. How can he visit when he doesn't know where his mother is or when she was taken there. In the meantime, evil tongues are whispering in his mother's ear "he hasn't been, he doesn't care". If hell is real that one is going straight there!
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    mellymoo74 wrote: »
    RAS how did you cope? I am seriously going to need to get something in place for him and this is outside of my understanding.

    I did not mellymoo; well sort of on the outside but was all over the place for a long time.

    Things like I could not cope with anything nice as I assumed "they" would find out how awful I was etc. For a long long time I took responsibility for things that others had done wrong; there are ways of making other parties "collude" in your misdemenours except some were more than that.

    I recall someone being nice to me and just bursting into tears because it was so scary.

    Difficult to describe on a public forum but I had to give evidence and I was convinced I would be shredded because of all the things other people had done wrong many years before that had nothing to do with the case. That was the breakthrough.

    I had however several year's therapy behind me and had learned something called focusing by then. That enabled me to sit with the feelings and understand.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 350.9K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.5K Spending & Discounts
  • 243.9K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.9K Life & Family
  • 257.2K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.