talk me down please

mellymoo74

Self pitying ramble. Ignore

wannabe_sybil

Sending hugs.

Everyone needs some self indulgent rants now and again - and heaven knows you really, really need the safety valve. Take care of yourself, because you are the only thing between your OH and the abyss.

mellymoo74

Thanks fellow pratchett fan your very right I need to vent or I am going to go properly nuclear.

SIL had accused OH of punching her, grabbing her by the throat etc so it's been fun (sarcasm smilie).

I am tired. In other news I had my first driving lesson. I drove in 2nd and everything.

Gingernutty

So why hasn't she gone to the police?

Where's the physical evidence?

Oh that's right.

The accusations are not only wrong, in the state your OH is in, what she's accusing him of is physically impossible. And the police would catch on to that straight away.

Wow.

[Sarcasm]She's a treasure isn't she?[/Sarcasm]

mellymoo74

Well she got her own way and OH lost his last birthday with his mum.
Unfortunately anticipating something like this I had ordered flowers to be delivered to his mum so she got them on her birthday and OH left a message pointing out that it was his mum's last birthday they were taking away and they weren't mother Teresa (aunt)

Exactly went for throat is laughable and as she has no injuries because OH pushed her out of the way didn't punch kick and throttle her, she can't get to the police. I am angry as they actually believed her!
I had to point out that if it gad happened OH would have fully lost control so she would be in hospital and he would be in prison but it's lost him a nephew possibly two

Poor sod is such a mess he can't understand why they are doing this and seeing him like this is making me angry.

Gingernutty

meritaten seems to have gone through this particular mill.

It sounds as though, SIL is an attention seeking, narcissistic, control freak and one nephew has taken after her/believes her.

Dragging the other nephew in may make a very bad situation even worse. He's probably had his fill of his mother's and brother's antics as well and won't thank you for getting him involved.

Keep in contact with him and keep it friendly.

As meritaten says, get onto Social Services and at least express your concern.

Well done on your driving lesson. If you keep going with that, I'll keep up with the singing lessons.....:)

mellymoo74

It's a deal!

Yep I emailed him today didn't mention it just said I'd not had a reference request and hoped he was enjoying new job still etc. Keeping it light and lines of communication open.
The other one is a write off, in order for me to lose it and shout back I got called a c unt, threatened with having my head ripped off and told I wasn't family.
I have told OH not to be too hard on him he's supporting his mum, OH doesn't know about the being called an evil b1tch the next day though nor will he don't think it would help the situation.

mellymoo74

So psychologist on Tuesday, I am going with OH. How much detail do I make my deeply private beloved husband go into?
I think full disclosure I want to ensure he gets as much help as poss

ognum

mellymoo74 wrote: »

So psychologist on Tuesday, I am going with OH. How much detail do I make my deeply private beloved husband go into?
I think full disclosure I want to ensure he gets as much help as poss

Hmm, mellymoo I haven't posted before but have followed you traumatic time.

All I want to say is be prepared for the psychologist to want to see your husband for some of the time alone.

Just so you are forewarned.

meritaten

melly - its going to take more than one session with psych - you know that don't you. He/She will not expect your OH to pour his heart out on first session. it takes time to establish trust. BUT, they will want to know the background and maybe the background of the relationship between your OH and MIL/SIL. and even if OH doesn't feel comfortable sharing 'everything', he should be honest. but in the early days he should be able to say 'I don't feel I can share that yet'. or 'I cant talk about it now'. They should respect that and move on. I can understand he may feel a bit nervous - but contrary to popular belief, psychologists CANT read your mind and don't sit there psychoanalysing you! They also wouldn't trick or trap you into revealing what you prefer to keep secret. I should think it would be more like a counselling session.


Gingernutty - While I haven't experienced anything on the level of Melly and OH - my MIL was a manipulative narcissist. and tbh, its a miracle that the family (mostly) survived intact. Perhaps because one of my SILs and myself sussed her out pretty quickly and learned to deal with her and how to minimise the damage. Mellys' MIL and SIL are way beyond narcissist and into Sociopathic in my opinion. especially SIL who seems to be very self-destructive.
you vent on here all you need to Melly - even if you DO delete it minutes later - it will be good to get it all out.