talk me down please

mellymoo74

He wouldn't attend a CMHT assessment
So he almost did.

GP on Tuesday had to wait for the right one.

Another day where my plans are out the window due to OH and his sleeping pattern

tunathe_cat

melly cyber hugs

Saffy and Tuna send !!!!!cat kisses and purrs from MK to you and your fur babies x

I too have a hubby that sleeps alot has yucky medical conditions- brain tumour seizures dementure diabetic copd etc he also fixes on things.. repeats of same tv programme/dvd/cd I think I might sell him for parts any takers.......

Well our house has had another visit from trades.. they have removed asbestos tiles. have to wait for next lot to bring in driers again for a week booked to arrive tomorrow pm.

Going to try and sort insurance paperwork which items Insurance have paid for /have I found a replacement and purchased yet.
Also need to move purchased new bedding from daughters house as she has painters in her house tomorrow... better shake a tail feather xx

pollyanna_26

Melly I think Sybil has hit the nail on the head it does sound as though your husband is shutting down mentally . You will be well aware that mental health services are under massive strain now so somehow you need to try to get tough and try to get through to him . I had to do this myself recently and although it is hard sometimes he needs to understand that if you try to access the help of cmht and other services he has to follow it through otherwise nothing will change except at some point you will become seriously ill yourself and he and the cats will be fending for themselves .
He will not get too many more chances of help as that help will go where it will be used . This sounds very harsh , I always think when patients are so unwell they can't face assessments and strangers that proves the need for help but the service is struggling and that's how things are .
I would agree to write down all you need to say to the doctor on Tuesday . Include how you are struggling yourself as if the doctor is also your doctor there is a duty of care for the carer .
Meanwhile is there a friend nearby or a park or something ? If your oh is back in bed for the day can you put your face on and get out into the world for a bit ?
When you have been working he has spent the day alone so even an hour or two to slow your thoughts and be outdoors may help you .
If you get to discuss things with him before Tuesday I would mention the welfare of the cats as this is his focus at the moment he needs to understand if you hit the floor both the his and the cats will suffer .
Not meaning to nag love but you wont get too many chances to try to sort things . Have a hug and do something for you today .
Love polly x

mellymoo74

I know the fact he's going to lose the chance of support is my major worry.

Nowt like a cry in sainsbury's is there.

I'm gonna wash up nd bake some cakes then I'm moving hum

pollyanna_26

I have perfected the art of crying in public places and these days do not even care . If people seem shocked that's their problem not mine . I believe it is healthy to release the worry and upset feelings away from the ongoing situation . You are probably like myself running on adrenaline most of the time with racing thoughts and a brain that sometimes can't focus . I know your garden is not suitable to sit out in but I either go in the garden for a while or take a walk or wander around a shop - nowt wrong with crying in sainsburys !
The chance to calm down and be away from things is very helpful .
Enjoy the baking therapy . Will check later today to see if you got out .
Take care love
polly x

wannabe_sybil

Sending hugs

Have you asked him, 'do you want to get better?' Also, 'I cannot continue like this and I may have to leave to survive. Have you a strategy in place to cope at that point?'

Can you do a day without caring for him. He should be able to survive a day. Afterwards say that you cannot continue so you need to take breaks. Ask him what his strategy is to look after the cats.

The reason you are here is because you are a kind and good person. However you have to be able to continue.

Sending shipping order of hugs with extra in a follow on order.

mellymoo74

Snotted on my neighbour

I think running on adrenaline is right
Currently running on empty

Had a lovely Froo cuddle including eye clean, she's taken her little solemn faced self off for dinner (she's munching kibble)

wannabe_sybil

Realistically you cannot keep running on empty.

Sending hugs

Is there anyone he will listen to that can say - you are at a crossroads. Decide to get better. Because if he can decide he wants to get better then he is more than half way there.

If there is any way he can be reached, doing less for him may help, to keep his mind having to reach outwards.

Sending more hugs.

Look after yourself.

mellymoo74

No
He has isolated himself
Won't leave the house

I slept all afternoon and he took the dogs out
I'm just gonna reheat stew and mash for tea

Thanks all

wannabe_sybil

Sending hugs. He is not so far gone as he will allow the dogs to suffer so took them out. That is something.

What does he do if you have to be away for more than an hour or so?

We had mash today as well. My nine year old, bear, has insisted that he loves cooking. This consists mainly of chopping stuff up so far, and the results haven't always been even, but he's had major fun. Tomorrow I need to provide him with something else to chop and I am running out of ideas.