Pregnant 16 year old - benefits

pipkin71

northerntwo1 wrote: »

Children have sex at 16 (often younger) nobody can say their children/grandchildren wouldn't end up pregnant. It's not what you want but some teenage parents go on to be successful, for some it's not the downward spiral people think.

Ranting at someone who can't do a thing as its nothing to do with them doesn't help. Lobbying your MP for child related benefits to end (does it matter if the mother is 16 or 36 if they can't support them), is your step.

I think the mother/grandmother is in a position few envy. They want what is best for their child but the law says that child is an adult so it's their decision. Few 16 year olds see longer picture. Some end up a statistic and some are remarkable and are contributing citizens in more ways than 1.

My heart goes out to grannie to be.

Thanks.

My friend has cried an awful lot, since she found out her daughter is expecting.

My girls are 15 and 17 and I would not want them to be pregnant at this age, so I can understand how she feels.

Now that her daughter has decided to keep the baby though, my friend needs to look at the practicalities and work out where they go from here.

Relationships are fragile right now and my heart goes out to both of them. I have watched this girl grow up and, as much as she is trying to be bolshy and tough, I know she is scared about her situation.

Sorting out benefits will be one less thing for them to stress over.

FBaby

Now that her daughter has decided to keep the baby though, my friend needs to look at the practicalities and work out where they go from here.

What she needs to do is teach her daughter that she made her bed and now learn to live with it. Without kicker her out, she needs to ensure she doesn't take over and consider the grandchild as another child of hers. Her daughter should claim her own benefits so she can learn to budget for herself and daughter. She needs to help her daughter by providing support, not by doing everything for her.

She needs to inform what her daughter needs to do for her to claim benefits, not do it for her.

pipkin71

FBaby wrote: »

What she needs to do is teach her daughter that she made her bed and now learn to live with it. Without kicker her out, she needs to ensure she doesn't take over and consider the grandchild as another child of hers. Her daughter should claim her own benefits so she can learn to budget for herself and daughter. She needs to help her daughter by providing support, not by doing everything for her.

She needs to inform what her daughter needs to do for her to claim benefits, not do it for her.

That may be one route to go down and my friend has certainly said all of this but, she wants her daughter to continue with her education and it may be easier for her to do that, if my friend claims on her behalf.

Children do make choices and yes, sometimes we have to leave them to it, but other times, as parents, we step in because family stick together.

I don't know which way my friend and her daughter will go but I hope they stick together as this situation has come very close to tearing them apart.

FBaby

pipkin71 wrote: »

she wants her daughter to continue with her education and it may be easier for her to do that, if my friend claims on her behalf.

How does her claiming make it more likely for her daughter to stick with college? I would have thought the opposite, that if she has to manage her own money, she is more likely to appreciate the importance in continuing her education.

Children do make choices and yes, sometimes we have to leave them to it, but other times, as parents, we step in because family stick together.

It's not about leaving them to it, it's about given them the opportunity to face real life that involves taking on responsibility, something the daughter will have to learn very quickly as she becomes a parent. She will need learning adult responsibilities, one of the main one being to budget her own income. If she is considered old enough to claim it, then she is considered old enough to manage it, with the help her those who can provide it.

I don't know which way my friend and her daughter will go but I hope they stick together as this situation has come very close to tearing them apart.[/QUOTE]

I think this often happens after the shock of it, but usually get closer again after the baby is born.

ohreally

pipkin71 wrote: »

The father is also 16 so is not in employment

You do realise being 16 isn't a barrier to employment?

Morglin

pipkin71 wrote: »

Thanks.

My friend has cried an awful lot, since she found out her daughter is expecting.

My girls are 15 and 17 and I would not want them to be pregnant at this age, so I can understand how she feels.

Now that her daughter has decided to keep the baby though, my friend needs to look at the practicalities and work out where they go from here.

Relationships are fragile right now and my heart goes out to both of them. I have watched this girl grow up and, as much as she is trying to be bolshy and tough, I know she is scared about her situation.

Sorting out benefits will be one less thing for them to stress over.

Not a good scenario for mum-to-be or gran-to-be, and the endless prayer of teenager's parents is that, yes, we know you have sex, but please can you take precautions!


But, what's done is done, and mums usually stick by their kids, no matter what, so, regards to the practicalities, the CAB or a local Welfare Rights will be able to tell them what can be claimed etc.,

Most schools also have a Pastoral Care department, where they should be au fait with all options.

Hope they all get on ok.

Lin

Morglin

ohreally wrote: »

You do realise being 16 isn't a barrier to employment?

It us the real world of today's employment situation, especially where young people are concerned!

Lin :whistle:

pipkin71

Morglin wrote: »

Not a good scenario for mum-to-be or gran-to-be, and the endless prayer of teenager's parents is that, yes, we know you have sex, but please can you take precautions!


But, what's done is done, and mums usually stick by their kids, no matter what, so, regards to the practicalities, the CAB or a local Welfare Rights will be able to tell them what can be claimed etc.,

Most schools also gave a Pastoral Care department, where they should be au fait with all options.

Hope they all get on ok.

Lin

Thanks Lin.

My friend will let school know as her daughter is suffering terribly with morning sickness and she has to take GCSEs when she returns after the Easter break.

Hopefully they will be of some help, even if for just the short time the girl is on their register.

Flugelhorn

she has to stay in education now until she is 17 or the end of year 12 or whaever - has recently changed. My DD is in year 12 and is the first year who have to either be at school, college or in an apprenticeship.

pipkin71

FBaby wrote: »

How does her claiming make it more likely for her daughter to stick with college? I would have thought the opposite, that if she has to manage her own money, she is more likely to appreciate the importance in continuing her education.

I could be wrong here but, as far as I recall, if you are in full time education, you cannot claim income support?

Someone else also mentioned that something called 'care to learn*' can be slow to pay out. These would be barriers to education, making it less likely for mum-to-be to stay in college.

Maybe that won't be the case though. I can only go on the information I have been given. Maybe the girl will want to assert her own authority in bringing her child into the world but, the more information they both have, the better the choices they can make, hopefully.


*Care to learn is not something I have ever heard of so hopefully it will be useful information for my friend and her daughter.