Deroragatory comments from ex-husband

K9sandFelines

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

He's an @rse. You know it and your children do too.

Instead of expending mental energy on being annoyed with him I suggest you arm your children with the confidence they need to disagree with him or disregard him completely. They probably know already that their father's comments and those of his wife are made to undermine you in front of your children and if they don't, it's time to let them now this.

If he wasn't able to use their clothing as a weapon he'd settle on something else.

Anytime they disagree they are accused of being cheeky. You're right that he always has a bone of contention to pick, and at the moment this is flavour of the month.

K9sandFelines

marisco wrote: »

All the while the only thing his attitude and approach toward the children will be achieving is to break down any positive relationship they share with him. His mind games will come back to bite him soon enough. Easier said than done but rise above any of his passive aggressive behaviour. You are raising your kids well and doing your absolute best for them OP.

Shame he can't ever say this to me Marisco, takes a stranger on the internet to show kindness of this type.

K9sandFelines

trailingspouse wrote: »

Well, if he's taking them shopping for clothes, send them with a shopping list. No point in him wasting his money on things they don't need, so make the most of it.

Do they need new clothes for summer? Trainers? Sports equipment? School uniform? Slippers? Wellies? Socks, knickers, tights, bras, make-up (sorry, you don't say if your kids are male or female). New school bags. I'm sure you can think of more.

Get the kids involved in deciding what they need.

Then hand over the list (don't forget to thank him profusely) and I doubt he'll be in a hurry to do it again.

A great idea in theory but he would never kit them out with a whole wardrobe, or anything other than the bare essentials ... which they have already and more (just not in his opinion) !!

K9sandFelines

embob74 wrote: »

I'm sorry to say but if you get CSA and WTC then I also think that's enough to buy the clothes they need. Are you saying you can't afford to buy the clothes they need and that your ex does in fact have a point?
Please don't think I excuse his behaviour. My ex used to buy the kids clothes which had to stay at their house for when they visited at the weekend. That seemed to me a bit of a passive-aggressive way of saying they didn't think the clothes I sent the kids in were any good and it was a complete waste of money as they got very little wear out of the clothes at dads house. But it did mean he never said anything to me about the clothes I bought and I didn't have to worry about what clothes they had to take to their dads.
I never got any maintenance and still managed to buy all they needed btw.

It is enough to provide clothing as it is needed, which is what i do. It is not enough to kit them out with a whole new seasons wardrobe, shoes, coats, school bits; everytime i receive a payment, which is the point i was trying to make, and how my ex seems to think clothes should be bought. His wife even said to the children, "when a new season comes in do you not go out and get a new wardrobe"? Well she might, but i have never done that. I have always bought clothes when and where needed. Hope that's clearer.

K9sandFelines

Person_one wrote: »

I wouldn't do that, but from now on I'd always just send them in the clothes on their back and nothing else to change into.

If the oldest is a teenager, us she not choosing her own by now anyway?

They are both female, and both choosing their clothes; well i will bring them home and they'll say whether they like them or not. Or i will order online and ask, will you wear this. If we are all out together then they wiill freely choose what they like.

I have tried not packing loads of clothes before, and he kicked off when the youngest went out and got full of mud; and asked why she didn't have enough changes of clothes?

K9sandFelines

Sorry can't multi quote; have tried to reply to everybody who asked a specific question and thanked everyone else for their replies. I will update asap once they have been, see what comments they come back with this time!!