Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

asparagus1968

why does he want a joint account?

Think I would have his wages sent to your account, change all household bills to come out of your account so you know they are getting paid ( my BFF found her gambling OH had cancelled the house and car insurance! thank god nothing awful happened) add up how much total monthly debt payments are and send that to his account, where direct debits are set up to pay each company he owes money to.
pay yourself for him using the car, put weekly amount for groceries in an envelope for him, and give him another envelope with his weekly spends in it.

And if there are tears, don't be hiding them from him!!

catch up soon

ClootiesMum

I don't think the DMP per se will have an effect on his credit file but if they reduce payments to cards etc this will have an effect in time.
TBH - I'm aware that a few people on this site have defaults etc and still work in finance but I think it's because things are managed & they've been up front with managers.
When I started in the bank you could be pulled into the manager's office for being 50p overdrawn.....

pm2326

ClootiesMum wrote: »

I don't think the DMP per se will have an effect on his credit file but if they reduce payments to cards etc this will have an effect in time.
TBH - I'm aware that a few people on this site have defaults etc and still work in finance but I think it's because things are managed & they've been up front with managers.
When I started in the bank you could be pulled into the manager's office for being 50p overdrawn.....

I too work for a bank and when a colleague split with her partner late last year, fell into massive mortgage arrears she eventually went to our HR and mentioned possible repossession etc and they were fine, they said only time its an issue is if your involved in sales and then they can work around it, seems to have something to do with advised sales.

Hope this helps

fatbelly

financialdisease wrote: »

He is going to tell his boss tomorrow and call the employee support number if she thinks he should. Will a dmp have an effect on his credit file? Just now its rsted as 'fair'

I don't want a joint account maybe get added as an appointed representative.

In all probability payments on a dmp will be below the contractual payments and a default will be placed on his credit file - actually the sooner they do this the better as they're going to be on there for 6 years.

You should avoid joint accounts though you are already linked through the mortgage and you should already be named on his file as financially associated.

Well done on rejecting the refinancing/consolidation loan option.

financialdisease

Another friendly poster mentioned DAS that seems like something that will work for him, any experience or information?

LannieDuck

I wouldn't be getting a joint account with him at the moment.

Could he not use the £1900 he got this month to buy a car? I would try hard not to raid the children's savings.

As for not being able to live on £50/wk, he really has no option at this point. Tell him to try it for a month and see how it goes. He can read papers online, take packed lunches into work and stop buying pints in the pub.

ClootiesMum

I get the impression (from the MA site) that a DAS is a Scottish DMP but it might not be as simple as that (nothing ever is)

financialdisease

We are in Scotland so that helps reading about it, it does seem pretty complex but so far im finding all of his options compex.

I don't want a joint account I like having the freedom with my money having to think about him whenever I use money. Maybe having his salary and bills transferred to another current account in my name would work, I will suggest this but I imagine he will say its too much work. I sais to him about the DAS thing he sais that sounds good how do I do it? I said ita not that simple you need to speak to dwbt advisory first his reply was "I just want to tick a button ans agree to fix it, like I did when making this mess" ggrrrr that is such a childish reply.

giblet1979

Yes that is childish and unrealistic...he will need to be prepared to do some work, and like has been said before, take some responsibility. He can't leave it all to you, and it isn't fair to do so (plus he won't learn).

You sound so lovely and helpful, but perhaps remind him that you and the kids are important (and faultless) in all this, and he needs to take the problem seriously, not just expect it to go away, or you to fix it.

I'm sure it must be difficult if he has 'issues' around money / gambling etc, but that doesn't mean he isn't 'big' enough to face them if he is really serious about it.

Chin up fd; you're doing great x

financialdisease

LannieDuck wrote: »

I wouldn't be getting a joint account with him at the moment.

Could he not use the £1900 he got this month to buy a car? I would try hard not to raid the children's savings.

As for not being able to live on £50/wk, he really has no option at this point. Tell him to try it for a month and see how it goes. He can read papers online, take packed lunches into work and stop buying pints in the pub.

I have decided that I will take a years lease out on a small car that way its no more borrowing or massive commitment. He transferred £500 to me from the honus, used £700 to make payments to the cards and has put £700 away foe nezt month. Typing this has just made me think why should I believe he has kept the £700! I will ask him to transfer it to me when he is back he has gone to the supermarket again for his usual bread, cakes and Sunday dinner hw does this every week spending about £30 he has our youngest kid with him so I know he isn't lying. He takes sandwiches to work, he makes them his self his masses of salad and fancy cold meats must cost quite a bit everyweek along with his fresh bread addiction we must have a new brown and white loaf every other day! I don't eat bread bit do eat the cakes and croissants