Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

asparagus1968

oh, that's bad. would you condsider a child minder instead?
I had reasons I didn't but many people do.

financialdisease

I think after 7 or more years of living with it, its just not such a shock for him. He saya that it was always going to be the right time to tell me but it never came along, any excuse not to was so much easier but with the car thing becoming more of an issue he knew it was coming along sooner than later.

asparagus1968

sorry, yes you did say he had gone out for the day.
Am sure he could access his accounts online, there is an option for forgotten log in details!
maybe he could start tomorrow?

have to say, I do admire you for being so calm, good for you

asparagus1968

And, I think you should have a break from this for a little while, and go do something that you enjoy, this is your weekend too!

financialdisease

asparagus1968 wrote: »

oh, that's bad. would you condsider a child minder instead?
I had reasons I didn't but many people do.

We looked at it but it will only save a few pounds a week and we might not find one that takes government funding either. The nurseries have said they *should* have a place for August when the other leave to start school. August seems so far away them she will be going to school the following August so only getting 1 year at nursery which I really hate the idea of.

financialdisease

asparagus1968 wrote: »

And, I think you should have a break from this for a little while, and go do something that you enjoy, this is your weekend too!

Thank you ♥ that really made me smile

I am going out tomorrow im looking forward to zoning out then if there was a mountain near by I would be up it by now feeling ice cold freedom rather than fluffy head tiredness :j I have promised the kids a day at home playing with toys a d making mess which is something we very rarely do because we are always doing something probably the first time in a month or two we have had a free weekend.

asparagus1968

financialdisease wrote: »

We looked at it but it will only save a few pounds a week and we might not find one that takes government funding either. The nurseries have said they *should* have a place for August when the other leave to start school. August seems so far away them she will be going to school the following August so only getting 1 year at nursery which I really hate the idea of.

that's a shame. fingers crossed a place comes up sooner.

asparagus1968

financialdisease wrote: »

Thank you ♥ that really made me smile

I am going rock climbing tomorrow im looking forward to zoning out then if there was a mountain near by I would be up it by now feeling ice cold freedom rather than fluffy head tiredness :j I have promised the kids a day at home playing with toys a d making mess which is something we very rarely do because we are always doing something probably the first time in a month or two we have had a free weekend.

oh, glad you are doing that, enjoy yourselves. My DS has just gone away for the week, missing him already.have cleaned out the kitchen cupboards and the drawers under the divan to occupy myself!

blisteringblue

Feeling for you. I also want to add, never ever consolidate to pay debts.

Been there bought the T-Shirt multiple times. There's an extra 40k on our mortgage and currently 60k on credit cards because we did this. It is a short term fix that does not address the reason your OH got into this position in the first place.

I would get a small loan for the car if this will stop him losing his job, but nothing more

I too would recommend the Stepchange DMP route to pay back what he owes. Only do this on your husbands income and expenditure though, keep yours separate. They have a quick 20 min online questionnaire that should tell you what they would recommend.

http://www.stepchange.org/Debtremedy.aspx

financialdisease

I phoned step change but because the debts are his and my income wont be taken into account he will need to go through the process himself

jeez I really hope I can get him to call and not think *we* can sort it without help!

They have said not to stress about loosing the house and legal intervention because iys credit card debt and something aboard different powers. My brain is like mush I wish I was out doing something rather than at home demented with my thoughts.