Desperate for baby number 3 but worried about money!

Carmina-Piranha_2

When I wanted a third child but my husband didn't, because we couldn't afford it, I got a mirena coil put in and we agreed to see how we both felt about it in 3 years time. Is that something you could do?

6 years later my husband said if I still wanted one then so did he, but by then I was volunteering and looking for work, and could clearly see that without my getting a job we'd never pay off the debts incurred while I was a SAHM for the youngest. A friend of my son's moved in and has been here for a year, and we are still struggling. It's different because I suppose if the third child was mine I'd get child benefit, but even so, things like 18th birthdays, school trips, passports, that extra room when you go on holiday because everything is set up for a family of 4, clothes and shoes for teenagers, driving lessons, pot noodles and bacon sandwiches at 2am, it all adds up!

If we'd had one straight after youngest was born that would have been okay until they got older - babies are cheap.

PlymouthMaid

I can understand you wanting a larger family but unless you are pretty wealthy or are not hoping to help your children access uni, have a nice wedding maybe or get on the housing ladder one day, keeping to two children gives you more chance of gettign them started on a successful pathway. These things may not be in your plans but we always wanted to do that and so what we did for one needed to be repeated 5 years or so later for the other. Just something to think about. Babies are not especially expensive but teens and young adults can be.

Takeaway_Addict

these posts are pretty pointless because the OP's know what they are going to do before they ask.

cmcavon

Thank you to everyone who's given advice.

To those having a dig about it being pointless, your responses are pointless! I'm genuinely after advice! I haven't decided anything so please don't respond if my post offends your expert opinion. I posted this in the family section as I thought there may be others who have felt the same way as me. I really appreciate other opinions, I don't want to reveal my financial situation to those close to me so this was a good place to talk things though.

I'm a self-employed childminder, full books and children on a waiting list. I could in theory take only two weeks off and return to the same income with increased tax credits and child benefits. I don't think this is practical though.

cmcavon

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

these posts are pretty pointless because the OP's know what they are going to do before they ask.

Thank you for a perfect example of a pointless post :rotfl:

Carmina-Piranha_2

There was a childminder who went to a toddler group with me and she only took two weeks off. It depends how you are though - two weeks after giving birth I was still a complete wreck

cmcavon

Yeah that's my worry! It would be great financially but imagine how knackered I'd be!

Mojisola

cmcavon wrote: »

I had a difficult pregnancy with my second child and she was not a very settled baby so I've actually been content with the two up til recently!

cmcavon wrote: »

I'm a self-employed childminder, full books and children on a waiting list.

I could in theory take only two weeks off and return to the same income with increased tax credits and child benefits. I don't think this is practical though.

Or you could have an even more difficult time and end up taking months off work. If your plans only work if everything goes smoothly, you're not planning properly.

cmcavon

Mojisola wrote: »

Or you could have an even more difficult time and end up taking months off work. If your plans only work if everything goes smoothly, you're not planning properly.

You're absolutely right I'm not planning properly, I'm letting my emotions rule my head.

I'm going to have a look at the snowballing calculator and see how much we could clear in 12, 18 and 24 months.

ciderwithrosie_2

The other thing to consider is the age gap - if you go back to childminding then there will be playmates for your baby during the day but what about within the family setting.

There's 17 months between my oldest two and 3 years and 5 months between DS2 and DS3. Even that amount of age gap was too much really, it just took me longer than I anticipated to get pregnant the third time.

The oldest two are very close and have interests and friends in common, they could almost be twins. The youngest has just always had to find his own way as by the time he was at an age to join in they just found him an annoying hindrance! Luckily he's a resourceful, resilient sort with a very thick skin and lots of his own friends!

They were very cheap when babies/small children as having 3 boys, stuff got passed down and they were happy with a packet of chocolate buttons and a trip to the park. It's when they get older and decide they don't want to wear big brothers' clothes anymore and develop their own interests and want to go on school trips, parties, festivals and off to Uni. The youngest is hopefully going this year and he's only chosen the most expensive Uni/course equipment/halls he can find!!

Also my food bill is horrendous (well I think it is) for example, 30 pints of milk a week, and to save a bit we buy cheese in 2.5kg blocks.