Present dilemna for exes children

duchy

Good for you for doing what obviously feels right for you.

I suspect sending him the link made him think you were saying "I care about you and want you to sort this out" and gave him a bit of a mixed message. The male ego is a resilient thing sometimes However the presents should correct that assumption !

Any man who dumps someone after a year by text isn't worth knowing IMO

juliebunny

Removed to protect privacy

Person_one

juliebunny wrote: »

It wasn't meant to be petty, but you don't just turn off loving someone overnight and I actually still do care about him, and hate to see him wasting his life away,despite all this, as I'm sure thousands of other scorned lovers the world over will relate to.

I know, and after being dumped in such a thoughtless way it must be really tempting to highlight what the problems are with him not just you.

There's no future here though, is there? So be strict with yourself, don't give in to that temptation!

I'll be completely honest with you, if a man came on here and told us that his new partner referred to his daughters as 'the nice one and the other one' I'd say he should end the relationship. Not by text of course, that was cruel, but it clearly wasn't one that was going to work out and be healthy for all involved.

January20

[QUOTE=Person_one;65217025
I'll be completely honest with you, if a man came on here and told us that his new partner referred to his daughters as the nice one and the other one I'd say he should end the relationship. Not by text of course, that was cruel, but it clearly wasn't one that was going to work out and be healthy for all involved.[/QUOTE]

Surely he op is using this turn of phrase for our benefit as she can t use real first names and is trying to make us understand her situation?

Person_one

January20 wrote: »

Surely he op is using this turn of phrase for our benefit as she can t use real first names and is trying to make us understand her situation?

That's clearly how she views them though.

19lottie82

Person_one wrote: »

That's clearly how she views them though.

to be fair, based on what she's told us, is it any wonder?

Person_one

19lottie82 wrote: »

to be fair, based on what she's told us, is it any wonder?

She's entitled to her feelings on the matter, and I understand why she's hurt and upset but somebody who can view a clearly troubled 7 year old child in that way is not really somebody who should be in a relationship with that child's parent.

I'm sure the OP is a very nice person, but this relationship was never going to be the right one, and its absolutely correct that her partner put his daughters first even though his way of doing so was thoughtless and upsetting.

victory

juliebunny wrote: »

Thank you so much to everyone for their input, I've gone with majority vote. I've removed the presents and Hermes will kindly take the rest of them (he has asked if he could pick them up but i said no - I didn't want him near my house or to see him) - not going to rush though, let him sweat a bit longer. I think I can take one back, one is going to my sister (edible!), and some others I'd already put away for Christmas will go to a local charity for some kid who will actually appreciate them.
Patientmummy, I wish he could read your post. It is what his family have been telling him but he's really just on a pity party now - I know this is harsh but he's been divorced 4 years now, I actually think he may be enjoying wallowing in it now. Even his friend has told him he is an idiot (his wife has been in touch).

Actually last night I sent him a link for a Relate book on how to help your children through divorce, how to move on, and how to handle new relationships. No message, just the link - I didn''t want to open up a channel of communication with him, but make it clear I thought he needed help. A few hours later he replied with a longish text message saying he knows he has issues but he's confused and doesn't know how to handle the situation rah rah, still on about himself. He obviously wanted to open up another dialogue (by text, what it is about bl**dy text, have people lost the ability to conduct real relationships!) I can't see that there is a situation any more - does he really think I'm still hanging around for him??!! When he gets the box minus my gifts that will become clear since he will be no doubt furious that I have'nt sent money to his girls. I did put a brief note in to explain that I didn't feel it was now appropriate to buy the girls gifts, I was sorry it meant the nice daughter will lose out, but I didn't want him and his other daughter to get the wrong idea.
I replied simply OK to his text message, seemed petty to just ignore it, but not interested in counselling him any more.

Glad this is over, as others have said, lucky escape from a man who I now suspect didn't actually love me.

Well done:T a new happy life awaits you:D

Abbafan1972

juliebunny wrote: »

Thank you so much to everyone for their input, I've gone with majority vote. I've removed the presents and Hermes will kindly take the rest of them (he has asked if he could pick them up but i said no - I didn't want him near my house or to see him) - not going to rush though, let him sweat a bit longer. I think I can take one back, one is going to my sister (edible!), and some others I'd already put away for Christmas will go to a local charity for some kid who will actually appreciate them.
Patientmummy, I wish he could read your post. It is what his family have been telling him but he's really just on a pity party now - I know this is harsh but he's been divorced 4 years now, I actually think he may be enjoying wallowing in it now. Even his friend has told him he is an idiot (his wife has been in touch).

Actually last night I sent him a link for a Relate book on how to help your children through divorce, how to move on, and how to handle new relationships. No message, just the link - I didn''t want to open up a channel of communication with him, but make it clear I thought he needed help. A few hours later he replied with a longish text message saying he knows he has issues but he's confused and doesn't know how to handle the situation rah rah, still on about himself. He obviously wanted to open up another dialogue (by text, what it is about bl**dy text, have people lost the ability to conduct real relationships!) I can't see that there is a situation any more - does he really think I'm still hanging around for him??!! When he gets the box minus my gifts that will become clear since he will be no doubt furious that I have'nt sent money to his girls. I did put a brief note in to explain that I didn't feel it was now appropriate to buy the girls gifts, I was sorry it meant the nice daughter will lose out, but I didn't want him and his other daughter to get the wrong idea.
I replied simply OK to his text message, seemed petty to just ignore it, but not interested in counselling him any more.

Glad this is over, as others have said, lucky escape from a man who I now suspect didn't actually love me.

I'm confused, have you still sent presents to this idiot? What have you sent with Hermes?

juliebunny

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