Present dilemna for exes children

poet123

I would have returned them to my family and not had nay further contact.

sulkisu

Under the circumstances I definitely would not have passed them on. I would have given them back to the family members - with a simple explanation of it's no longer appropriate to give them to them - and have no further contact with him or his children. He has a bloody cheek asking for them!

jee

The idea of a grown man dumping you by text and then pestering you for the presents is quite frankly pathetic. You're well rid OP- be thankful you got out now.

January20

Person_one wrote: »

That's clearly how she views them though.

Yes, but what is wrong with that? Some people seem to think that children are angels that can do no wrong and should be forgiven anything and everything. I don't agree. I think some children can be really nasty to other children and adults. There are little humans. I don't understand why people are so sensitive about a poster airing their true feelings on here as long as the children don't know. I feel allowed to like and dislike children and adults as necessary, even though I may make more allowance for children. Nothing wrong with that. I'm a human, not a saint, So is the OP!

January20

Person_one wrote: »

I'm sure the OP is a very nice person, but this relationship was never going to be the right one, and its absolutely correct that her partner put his daughters first even though his way of doing so was thoughtless and upsetting.

I would normally agree with you because I did exactly the same thing for my daughter, but at least my daughter was not a spoilt brat who was nasty to other adults in my life, male or female. However, I feel this man is allowing his daughter to dictate how he leads his life and he is clearly lonely (as said by the OP) so it's wrong. He needs to find a way to deal with his daughter otherwise she will be 25 with her own life and still trying to dictate who enters daddy's!

Also, and I know from personal experience, in 10-15 years time, when he thinks his daughter is ready for him to date, he will be that much older and it will be much more difficult to find a suitable partner.

However, I believe he didn't really love the OP so she is better off.

juliebunny

Thanks guys.

Pollycat

juliebunny wrote: »

Thanks guys. In fact, said male of the species has today contacted me to apologise for how pish poor he has handled this situation. Meh. And NO there won't be any reconcilation or further discussions!! OR sending of any more presents.

It's his loss, Julie.


Sorry it didn't work out for you but you deserve better.

kezzygirl

January20 wrote: »

Yes, but what is wrong with that? Some people seem to think that children are angels that can do no wrong and should be forgiven anything and everything. I don't agree. I think some children can be really nasty to other children and adults. There are little humans. I don't understand why people are so sensitive about a poster airing their true feelings on here as long as the children don't know. I feel allowed to like and dislike children and adults as necessary, even though I may make more allowance for children. Nothing wrong with that. I'm a human, not a saint, So is the OP!

I agree with the above post.Some kids are nasty little beggers, who have learned well from their parents.Its sad, but true.and these kids will grow up and probably continue to act like this as adults...

I think children should be told the truth about stuff going on, i.e.'this is my new partner, she will be staying with us' etc why is it ok for mummy dearest to have a new partner but not father?

When dh and I first got together, he refused to see his children without me, to give them a clear message that I was around and not going anywhere. These children in the op are receiving mixed messages and through their father are able to manipulate the situation i.e.'I don't want HER coming with us'...low and behold, daddy obeys.

sod that, u are well rid of him.he sounds like a wuss who is going to end up a sad and lonely old man.good luck op x

mrsHall2b

kezzygirl wrote: »

I agree with the above post.Some kids are nasty little beggers, who have learned well from their parents.Its sad, but true.and these kids will grow up and probably continue to act like this as adults...

I think children should be told the truth about stuff going on, i.e.'this is my new partner, she will be staying with us' etc why is it ok for mummy dearest to have a new partner but not father?

When dh and I first got together, he refused to see his children without me, to give them a clear message that I was around and not going anywhere. These children in the op are receiving mixed messages and through their father are able to manipulate the situation i.e.'I don't want HER coming with us'...low and behold, daddy obeys.

sod that, u are well rid of him.he sounds like a wuss who is going to end up a sad and lonely old man.good luck op x

i agree with this! i had a daughter when i met my partner and he had 2 kids from a previous relationship, from the very start we where both around the kids from day one and all 3 kids loved to play together. im sure there have been times when his 2 have disliked me, and i know there have been times when mine disliked him, but thats life, it was our decision to make not theirs!

most of the time we all get on great and OH's kids where 3-5 age when we met

FatVonD

You mentioned, OP, that you had known your ex and his kids for 4 years so presumably you are part of the same circle of friends? Does that mean you will still see them all occasionally? If it does then I would still send a small gift and a card since you split up so close to their birthdays.

I do also think there's a possibility he's using his daughter disliking you as an excuse, it doesn't sound like he made a lot of time for you even when she wasn't around. He dumped you after a week of not contacting you and then only after you messaged him, sorry but I'd have assumed I was dumped even before the text!