Help me understand....

poet123

Mmm I might have offered to go if I knew that the kids needed an adult, but I might also secretly have been hoping the other parent would say they would come along too.

Sounds horrendous tbh....look at it this way, would you rather her back out and you then have to go to save the day for the kids?

victory

poet123 wrote: »

Mmm I might have offered to go if I knew that the kids needed an adult, but I might also secretly have been hoping the other parent would say they would come along too.

Sounds horrendous tbh....look at it this way, would you rather her back out and you then have to go to save the day for the kids?

I would not choose to go if there was a list of days out, it wouldn't be at the top, I would go if it meant the kids couldn't go but that was not the case as she offered, we all agreed to this,it was very well discussed all last year, we all knew the day consisted of, the ticket release date, the cost, the train journey, that the kids would take pocket money , etc. none of it is a surprise, well, apart from me now having to pay half her fare

iammumtoone

poet123 wrote: »

Sounds horrendous tbh....look at it this way, would you rather her back out and you then have to go to save the day for the kids?

I think this is a very valid point and something you need to consider. However you also need to consider how the other mother would view the day out, will she not like it much either?

Personally I would love that kind of thing and if I found someone who I could get half the money out of to go and enjoy myself with my DS and his friend I would be laughing!!

She really should have made the situation clear to you when you were talking about it a year ago so you had time to consider it. I am sure you would have still gone ahead for your ds sake but at least you would have known the score, it really is unfair to spring this on you now it is too late to change anything!

victory

iammumtoone wrote: »

I think this is a very valid point and something you need to consider. However you also need to consider how the other mother would view the day out, will she not like it much either?

Personally I would love that kind of thing and if I found someone who I could get half the money out of to go and enjoy myself with my DS and his friend I would be laughing!!

She really should have made the situation clear to you when you were talking about it a year ago so you had time to consider it. I am sure you would have still gone ahead for your ds sake but at least you would have known the score, it really is unfair to spring this on you now it is too late to change anything!

Parent offered, happily and willingly knowing exactly what the day was, I can't change it now, if I had an inkling this was going to happen I would have done things differently, gone myself ( not asked for half) taken OH and we all get to have a day out the 3 of us? Or got a ticket for OH and they go? Don't know never knew I would have to think of different scenarios as it was planned for a while as it was not you pay half of mind:o

I will pay it, it's about learning, won't happen again, I'm not sure how clear the arrangements have to be in everyone's mind and even then a curve ball gets thrown in, unexpected yes, I want the kids to have a memorable day.

rach_k

I don't think she should have asked for half of her entrance fee... I think you should have OFFERED before she had to do that. If it was a trip to a cake shop I would only offer to pay for my child as clearly they're all going to be doing something pretty nice and she could sit and have a tap water if she wanted. However, an adventure day that two boys want to go on? Well I don't know about her but I don't imagine that would be great fun for me! I wouldn't mind going but it's not something I'd choose to do and it doesn't sound like she wanted to go right from the start as she only said she'd go once she realised they needed an adult with them. Didn't you realise they needed an adult, if you booked it? If you don't want to pay for something you're not getting to do, offer to go yourself, either in place of her or as well as her. If you don't want to go, just pay it and consider it a good deal.

FBaby

Why don't you go too then, each buy your own ticket and have a great time together?

splishsplash

I think she was rude to ask, but I imagine as she's giving up her day and going to the trouble and expense of bringing them (she has to pay for her train fare, her lunch etc.), that she expected you to offer to pay at least some of her expenses.

I don't think I'd have the brass neck to ask if I were her, but I do think I'd probably be a bit miffed that you hadn't offered something. Do you think she's just gently trying to nudge you towards acknowledging her 'donation' of time and effort?

victory

FBaby wrote: »

Why don't you go too then, each buy your own ticket and have a great time together?

fbaby I can't now, no one can now on that date, all tickets sold out

victory

splishsplash wrote: »

I think she was rude to ask, but I imagine as she's giving up her day and going to the trouble and expense of bringing them (she has to pay for her train fare, her lunch etc.), that she expected you to offer to pay at least some of her expenses.

I don't think I'd have the brass neck to ask if I were her, but I do think I'd probably be a bit miffed that you hadn't offered something. Do you think she's just gently trying to nudge you towards acknowledging her 'donation' of time and effort?

Could be I don't know, her 'donation of time and effort 'was her choice, no one forced her, no one asked for half her ticket before, no one knew she was going to ask for it

iammumtoone

Is it something your OH would enjoy? I think its a good point about him going, the boys might enjoy it better, all boys together.

Could your OH go? or is it too late?

You could suggest that happens as it will save your friend even having to pay half, and in effect you will only be having to pay half for your OH (seeing as your are paying half for her now anyway).