At Breaking Point - Why wont he grow up and stop spending?!

NHS_worker_bee

My first thought is to hit your highest APR debt (or can you balance transfer it to a 0% card?):

Credit Card....................2104.11...60........23.95

If you paid the £143 you have left over each month onto the credit card, you could clear it in 18 months... If you could afford to pay the £60 you pay now + the £143 spare, you could clear it in 12 months (but it may be more realistic to pay £143 a month to the credit card - just set it up as a direct debit and let it chip away at the debt) This would leave you with £60 spare which you would normally be paying on the credit card. You could put this aside to build up a little emergency fund so that you don't need to spend anything on the credit card again because you will have access to a small amount of extra cash if you need it for emergencies. Hope this sounds both positive and realistic. Best wishes

countrygirl1

Hi NHS worker bee,

Thanks for your positivity again! I actually pay £100-£150 off this per month. As you can see, I don't have any allowance for clothes or general cost of living so if a couple of birthdays crop up for instance, and I need to buy presents then I send £100 over. If I manage to make a bit extra money, or don't spend on any extras then I pay as much off as I can.

But I really like your idea of putting a little emergency money aside, even while I am paying the card off. I hadn't thought of it that way, and had made it a goal for when everything is paid off. But it makes much more sense to have access to a little pool of cash. - Thank you!

The_fog_has_lifted

Well done you for staying so positive, you have a plan and it seems your Hubby is getting on board with paying the debt off. I really hope it works out for you. Being married can be very tough at times like this, I'm sure when you come out the other side of this you will be stronger than ever whether in a marriage or on your own with your wee girl. All I can offer in advice is keep focusing on that end goal- BEING DEBT FREE!!!
It is a slog and I am also just beginning my debt free journey with a husband that's reluctant to got on board.
Ill be watching with interest.

GunWharf

Keep strong and you will find plenty of support on here.

Good luck, you will get there.

hettiecarro

Hi
So glad you've come back to update us.
I sincerely hope your OH delivers on his promises.
I understand that you may think it's too little too late, because you are understandably raw at present.
The only thing I would say is to stick to your guns. It will be hard at times (particularly if OH is prone to sulks etc), but remember you have your little girl to think of in all this - and she rightly deserves her Mum to be happy.
I notice in your SoA you have rent & mortgage - is this a part ownership property?
Whilst it is good that you are getting the money from your OH to tackle some of the debt, make sure you keep him in the loop as to how you are doing with it. One of the things that strikes me about your OH is that he seems happy to pass the day to day burden of running a household to you . You are his wife - not his mother, and this is a situation both of you should address.
Keep strong and keep posting here for more support.


Hettie x

BILLIE

Countrygirl - I am pleased that you have come back to update your thread. I am hoping that the promises your OH has made and the efforts he is currently making are for real and that it is not short lived. I think you are in control at the moment and know exactly what you have got to do, but I truly hope that you are both able to work this out.


With your SOA, I am not expert, but was a little confused to see both rent and mortgage payments on there!!


Good luck - Billie x

lubava

Hi Country girl,
Well done for posting your soa.Your loan interest is quite high at 13%. Some of the lenders (santander, hsbc) offering loans at 4.5% currently. Did you think if maybe you can refinance your loan? It would certainly save chunk of your interest and lower your monthly payments.

lubava

Forgot to add. I have just done it myself and just waiting for the money to be transferred to my account. By consolidating my 2 loans payments into one I save £118 on monthly payments which will go towards other debt as well as about 2k in interest alone over the term of loan

maganan

Hi there,

So glad you've come back was worrying we'd all been too forthright in our thoughts!

So pleased for your new beginning maybe you need a name change to..........strong lady changing her life........

I second the thoughts on an emergency fund, not being your husbands mother and getting him involved. Need a bit more time on the SOA but could you both keep a spending diary for a couple of weeks to see exactly what is being spent, it's always the little things that mess up a budget at the start!

Good luck keep posting and the folks on here will help you maintain your newly regained strength

Kate x

countrygirl1

Thank you all for your lovely responses once again, The Fog Has Lifted, GunWharf and Maganan (Kate) for your positive vibes and kind words.

Hettiecaro and Billie, yes it's a shared ownership home. Unfortunately I put my last (1 bed) house on the market after having my daughter and us needing more space, but this coincided with the rescession so I lots a lot of capital on the house and ended up having to go on a shared ownership scheme. Not bad for affordability per month thought I think, the rent is subsidised as it's with a housing association.

Hettiecaro, it was so strange reading your message, it's like you know my husband! He is very sulky and is definitely happy to pass the day to day burdens of life to me so he doesn't have to 'deal' with things. However, I have to say, since our 'talk' the other day, not only has he been much better with efforts toward finances, but he's also begun helping me out a little more around the house - unprompted - which is a huge help with my fibromyalgia and CFS. He even made dinner last night, he NEVER makes dinner! I think he's trying to buck up his act all-round.

Lubava, thank you, I didn't realise that the interest rate was so high on the loan, I believe at the time it was the best rate available but it sounds like there are much better deals available now. I will definitely look into HSBC and Satander...I didn't even know you could refinance a loan, like balance transferring credit cards!! Great tip, I will get right on to this.

Thank you all, it's funny, I suddenly don't feel so alone in all of this.