Visiting Graves

pollypenny

My parents' ashes were spread on the mountain above our home village, so,there's nowhere to visit.

I think of them often, anyway.

trolleyrun

I have no graves of loved ones to visit nearby even if I wanted to. I am weird in the sense that I sometimes visit random graveyards as I find them oddly fascinating. I wonder what lives they led and how they ended up where they did. Many people find graveyards spooky and sad, and I respect that. I find them interesting and peaceful.

tibawo

Been today.. Not been for a long time. A very strange thing I noticed that there was no road rage. You can drive round ours and the lanes are one and a half car widths so people had to pass and not one rude word was spoken!

PlymouthMaid

I visited the grave of my grandparents last year for the first time in 28 years as I now live 300 miles away. I know they are not there but I wanted to put flowers and just see it again. Like the poster above I prefer to think of their grave as being cared for rather than unkempt but the whole graveyard itself was so peaceful and full of nature taking over that was it rather lovely. It actually made me feel a little sad that my descendants will quite probably have nowhere like that to visit one day if they wanted to.

marisco_2

How a person chooses to handle the loss of a friend or loved one is as individual as the relationship those two use to share. There is no right or wrong way to approach it. Those who cant accept that and feel they have a right to make comments and guilt trip folk have their own issues in my opinion. Not only do I not visit graves I never have and never will attend funerals, except for my own of course. This has caused a level of upset and friction amongst my family and I in the past, but I choose to say goodbye and find closure in my own way. Don't be railroaded into doing anything that does not sit right with you is my advice OP.

Callie22

I really don't like the idea of a memorial that people feel obliged to visit and have made it clear that I don't want one. I'd like to be buried in a woodland cemetery with an oak tree on top However, my gran died a few years ago and her grave is very important to my mum. She visits it frequently and takes a lot of comfort from going there. For some people these things are important, which is fair enough.

NY1986

We go every other week at the moment, for us it's still quite raw, my grandad died the start of last year, my granny the end.

This is the first Mother's Day without her so we were there today. Christmas was the first without both of them so we were there then.

kazwookie

I visit my mother's grave twice a year, it is enough for me, I can remember her at home as and when I want, each to their own.

Skintski

My FIL's ashes were buried in the local church and he has a stone over the top. We lay a holly wreath on there every Christmas Eve which is made by my Mum.

We got married in November, my Husband went down in the morning and laid a button hole for him and then the following day we both went and took his Mum with us and laid my bouquet. My husband wanted to feel that his Dad was a part of our wedding and it felt right doing that for him.

ALIBOBSY

trolleyrun wrote: »

I have no graves of loved ones to visit nearby even if I wanted to. I am weird in the sense that I sometimes visit random graveyards as I find them oddly fascinating. I wonder what lives they led and how they ended up where they did. Many people find graveyards spooky and sad, and I respect that. I find them interesting and peaceful.

OH and I often go around churchyards strangely they often have a calm quiet atmosphere and reading the old graves can be fascinating. My gran use to take us on picnics in a local churchyard. Its a lovely quiet, green place to contemplate life (and death). But for some people that would probably sound weird.


I do visit a close childhood friends grave as its in the churchyard next to the children's school so its nice to take a few mins out of a busy day and wander through on the way home.


But its a personal choice and shouldn't be mandatory for anyone.


Ali x