One pot or separate accounts?

FBaby

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Your situation isn't really comparable if you had separate children though is it, as they're always going to be your number 1. It's not really about being independent, as long as your not relying on someone else to get by (which is fine in loads of situations!), them you are independent.

There is no right or wrong here.

I don't think it would be any different even if we had children together. I like the element of 'dating' that comes with separate accounts. I love it when my husband takes me out for dinner and pays for it from his account just like he loves when I get a him a special present. I don't think it would have the same effect if the money just came out of our joint account, it would be almost like we might as well pay for it ourselves and takes away the surprise element. To me, it is a little bit like if I had to tell my husband where I go at all times. He is entitled to do things without me knowing everythng about it. I trust him as much with where he is as with what he does with his money without needing to watch over him.

But I do totally agree that there is no right or wrong and very much depends on individual needs.

Tigsteroonie

I wonder how Martin & Lara manage their finances? :money:

thebillet

First marriage we had it all in together with relatively few problems, divorce everything 50/50. Second marriage separate own accounts but joint for household bills and mortgage when we had one. However this didn't work out too well, my wife got herself into a tangle with money and had to take out loans unbeknownst to me. I discovered them and they weren't small: all paid off now but we still have separate accounts but talk very openly about money. I think my attention to detail with money has helped and she is never in debt, is happy with access to her cash and has the good fortune of getting back quite a bit of PPI from her earlier loans.

All of that said I would advise, an account each, a joint for bills but, rather more importantly an honest and open dialogue about money, after all money is(are) only tokens to help us get by.

paulineb_2

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

Those with different pots for joint and personal things, does that mean you carry different cards and pay for things depending on what/who it's for?

What if, say, you're in sainsburys and buy food for the family buy also whilst there you buy your car some accessories and some clothing for yourself. Do you then make 2 separate transactions and pay from different cards?

Another reason why I would prefer the 'everything one pot' set up is because that's what my parents have always had therefore being the only set up I have seen.

Im assuming that this isnt an answer to a question that you need to know soon because you are going to be in the situation where you need to decide, you've just asked a hypothetical question?

To be honest, Id be concerned if someone based all their future financial transactions just because their parents always did things a certain way.

You aren't your parents, what might have worked for them might not necessarily work for you.

hgotsparkle

We have a joint account which is what our bills and rent are paid out from, and OH pays his wages into that account and then transfers over enough for his direct debits each month to his old bank account.I have my own account that I have a standing order set up to the joint account for my rent and bill money but thats only while my account still has an overdraft, once its paid off completely I will get my wages paid into the joint account and do the same as OH and transfer over enough for my direct debits to the old account.


I do think one pot is easier as at the moment I find it tough that OH doesn't know how much I get paid so he never really has an idea of what I can and can't afford, whereas I know exactly what he gets and what he can and can't afford.

balletshoes

paulineb wrote: »

Im assuming that this isnt an answer to a question that you need to know soon because you are going to be in the situation where you need to decide, you've just asked a hypothetical question?

To be honest, Id be concerned if someone based all their future financial transactions just because their parents always did things a certain way.

You aren't your parents, what might have worked for them might not necessarily work for you.

absolutely - I have 2 sisters, and we all have different financial household arrangements with our husbands.

scotsbob

Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

People rightly want their relationship to last but sadly a high percentage don't.

Bearing that in mind, if you have joint money then your wife, her solicitor, her accountant, the tax man, the VAT man and goodness only knows who else will know where your money is.

You need to keep it separate and preferably a chunk overseas. Then if things don't work out you don't lose out.

Sophie-1

We've found that accombination of joint and single accounts works for us.

suzeesu2000

One couple, under one roof, one pot. If I couldn't trust hubby with money we wouldn't be together. We discuss what we want to spend and there is neither greed nor resentment.

It's worked for 25 years and I am happy about that. It's nice to trust and be trusted.

dizzyblonde82

We have separate accounts but my once my husband is paid he leaves enough in to cover his direct debits like mobile phone and car payment then the rest goes into my account.

My husband gets x amount each week from me - he prefers it this way as he is hopeless with money. We have been together 12 years and this works for us.