One pot or separate accounts?

JodyBPM

We have one overall "pot" in as much as all the money is for the benefit of the whole family.

We use quite a complex range of accounts to manage it. We have joint bills, joint spends, joint "house" account (repairs etc), personal spends accounts each, joint online savings, joint long term savings, separate online savings accounts each, separate ISAs each, plus various investments in each of our names. We own our house jointly and the mortgage was joint until we paid it off, and we each have our own pension pots, but when the time comes to cash them in the income from them will be considered joint. We have separate credit cards, we have sole premium bonds.

I find it very simplistic to say do you have sole or joint accounts - surely most families need a whole range of different accounts to manage their money, some of which it might make sense to be joint, and others, such as ISAs, that have to be sole?

The long and short though, is that we share the money, regardless of whose name it is nominally in.

Morrismorris

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I don't think either set up shows a lack of trust, unless one is coercing the other, just makes this more secure (hmmm I'm now wondering if there's much difference).

Would anyone here be happy or feel secure if your joint home was in your partner's name only?

My house is in my partners name only, it was too complicated to get me on the mortgage but we will do at some point. I feel perfectly secure, we have 2 children together and besides he couldn't afford the mortgage payments without me

tattycath

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I don't think either set up shows a lack of trust, unless one is coercing the other, just makes this more secure (hmmm I'm now wondering if there's much difference).

Would anyone here be happy or feel secure if your joint home was in your partner's name only?

Yes, I feel happy and secure.

pollyanna24

When I was with my ex, it was one pot, but then I used to put a certain amount in each of our bank accounts for "personal spends" as he was a spender and I was a saver. He'd think nothing of spending money on things I thought were completely pointless.

Now, okay, so a kinda different situation as I live with my brother, but we each put the same amount into the joint account which is a little bit more than the bills and mortgage come to, and the excess either goes to bills, unexpected expenses, or we chuck it on the mortgage.

Woolwich_Kim

Morrismorris wrote: »

My house is in my partners name only, it was too complicated to get me on the mortgage but we will do at some point. I feel perfectly secure, we have 2 children together and besides he couldn't afford the mortgage payments without me

Did he already have the home when he met you? and do you think it makes a difference as you have kids? I mean, whatever happens he is legally & morally obliged to provide for his kids.

That's now reminded me of my own situation. With my last partner he had a child. I never really felt secure with his family (parents, step-parents, siblings etc) but did wonder if that would change if I ever had his kid. Just to make clear, I never thought about having kids just to get on better with his family.

Goldiegirl

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I don't think either set up shows a lack of trust, unless one is coercing the other, just makes this more secure (hmmm I'm now wondering if there's much difference).

Would anyone here be happy or feel secure if your joint home was in your partner's name only?

I'd feel secure as I trust my husband absolutely. But I wouldn't feel happy, as it's my personal requirement to own the house I live in.

Morrismorris

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

Did he already have the home when he met you? and do you think it makes a difference as you have kids? I mean, whatever happens he is legally & morally obliged to provide for his kids.

That's now reminded me of my own situation. With my last partner he had a child. I never really felt secure with his family (parents, step-parents, siblings etc) but did wonder if that would change if I ever had his kid. Just to make clear, I never thought about having kids just to get on better with his family.

No, I had a house we needed to rent out as it wouldn't sell, it was easier to get mortgage in his name only. We have since sold the house but I'm in no rush to get on the mortgage.
I think I may feel different if we didn't have children though

PlymouthMaid

Never had a joint account and can't really see why I ever would.

Netwizard

Hermia wrote: »

I sadly know quite a few people that has happened to. In two cases the guy transferred all the savings accounts into the current account before emptying it.

I like the joint account and two separate account thing. I could never just have a joint account. Ultimately there is no right or wrong, just what you feel comfortable with.

IF I was in a relationship, this is how I would do it as well. Keep our accounts separate but have one joint one where we both contribute a set amount, for the reason above and also, I wouldn't like to ask my girlfriend for permission to spend money!

anotheruser wrote: »

For me, I simply see people who operate separate accounts don't trust their partner - but I can be very short sighted sometimes.

In terms of my reasoning for having separate accounts, you have a point here. I'm not saying I wouldn't trust my partner BUT I have seen even the happiest, loving couples suddenly part ways. I would always want my own safety net, and vice versa for the girlfriend. You never know what is round the corner imo

tattycath

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

Did he already have the home when he met you? and do you think it makes a difference as you have kids? I mean, whatever happens he is legally & morally obliged to provide for his kids.

That's now reminded me of my own situation. With my last partner he had a child. I never really felt secure with his family (parents, step-parents, siblings etc) but did wonder if that would change if I ever had his kid. Just to make clear, I never thought about having kids just to get on better with his family.

Mr tc already had the house when we met. We have children but not to each other. We still have no children to each other and it won't happen.
He managed to get in arrears with the mortgage and I had the payment transferred to come out of my account-so I can always make sure we have enough money to pay it. Even though it's in his name only. We will probably put it in both names at some point but it isn't a priority.