One pot or separate accounts?

Woolwich_Kim

tattycath wrote: »

Mr tc already had the house when we met. We have children but not to each other. We still have no children to each other and it won't happen.
He managed to get in arrears with the mortgage and I had the payment transferred to come out of my account-so I can always make sure we have enough money to pay it. Even though it's in his name only. We will probably put it in both names at some point but it isn't a priority.

For what reasons would you want your name on the home if you're happy and secure with the set up as it is?

One of my worries (prob why I would prefer to do mostly one pot) is that he'll die, as my last partner died unexpectedly. We had a joint account to initially fund our wedding and had planned to rent together first before buying (we lived with our own parents) and planned to eventually have one pot. Although he didn't have any money, infact his debts was more than his estate, it was still immensely stressful on me legally and financialy due to the fact I was neither his wife or child's mother.

Gloomendoom

We have separate accounts and we have joint accounts. I couldn't tell you what gets paid from where but nobody is banging on the door so we must be doing something right.

House is in my name only. My wife doesn't feel insecure.

tattycath

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

For what reasons would you want your name on the home if you're happy and secure with the set up as it is?

One of my worries (prob why I would prefer to do mostly one pot) is that he'll die, as my last partner died unexpectedly. We had a joint account to initially fund our wedding and had planned to rent together first before buying (we lived with our own parents) and planned to eventually have one pot. Although he didn't have any money, infact his debts was more than his estate, it was still immensely stressful on me legally and financialy due to the fact I was neither his wife or child's mother.

Sorry for your loss.
Mr tc wants my name on the home as if anything happens to him it will make things less complicated he says. My plan is for us to pay the mortgage off ASAP so we can get another mortgage and buy our forever home-without the mortgage being as big as our current mortgage. If that makes sense?

Buzzybee90

Yep we pooled our savings, we have a joint current account too. We do have our own accounts but they're available to each other if needed.

Mrs_Ryan

We have separate accounts although with the same bank. OH has a good credit rating and mine is awful so I don't want to drag him down. He won't allow me to pay any bills (apart from the internet as only I use that so it's in my name and I pay it) and neither will he allow me to pay anything towards them (it's a long story) all bills come out of his account but I operate his account for him as due to disability he cannot do it himself. He has two accounts with separate banks- as do I- and his wages go into one which has a small overdraft and his DLA goes into another. I monitor the standing orders for the household bills and arrange any extra payments that need to be made. Bizarrely he asks me permission before he buys anything for himself but I keep telling him the same thing- it's his money he can do what he wants with it! He's not interested in how much I get and neither is he interested what I spend it on although I've bailed him out in the past more than once. Works for us. Mum and Dad are the same- they have a joint account but mum controls it and she gives my Dad a little pocket money each week. Dad never had a bank account for years,mum was always the breadwinner and she had the bank accounts and credit cards as she still does.

Cottage_Economy

We have a joint bank account that salaries are paid into.

We have a separate current account each that we use for our individual hobbies and any personal luxuries, and every month we transfer a set amount of personal spending money into each from the joint account.

I have a savings account I keep my tax and NI money in as I have a micro business, and I also keep our emergency fund in there.

We both have ISAs and accounts for other savings, such as retirement etc.

margaretclare

meg72 wrote: »

For 30 years I had joint account with my husband, either to sign, but when the marriage ran into difficulty he cleared the accounts and left me pennyless, so if I had my time again I would have kept a savings account in my own name.

This happened to DH in his last marriage. She had the idea that what was hers was hers but what was his was also hers. He was very resistant to the idea of our having a joint account. Because he moved in with me, all bills etc came out of my account. I worried about what would happen if I died before him. That's also the reason why I insisted on having both our names on the deeds as joint tenants. I didn't want him to be homeless if I died first.

Suffice to say, now we each have our own accounts into which we receive our pensions income. We also have a joint account which is only for bill payments. We both tip into that account and all the regular monthly bills go out like clockwork. We can't access that account for cash or write cheques against it.

anotheruser

paulineb wrote: »

I bet my mums friend wished they had separate accounts. The thing about trust is, people can break it.
They had been married a very long time when he left, over 25 years.
Sometimes you dont know what is going through someone elses mind.
Im sure she did trust her husband completely, but he broke that trust and took every penny that was in their joint account.
Keeping separate accounts doesnt mean you think the worst will happen. But if it did happen and someone upped and left you without a word at least you wouldnt be penniless.
Thats the worst case scenario, but thats what some people go through.

And I guess this shows the level of trust I have for my Fianc!e. It's all well and good me thinking that I won't do that to her, but you are right in what you say that she could do it to me.
I don't think she would but again, like you say, who knows what will happen in the future. But then I am happy trusting and will only learn if it happens, and that if is so small it may as well not be there.
Good post though - good food for thought. Kudos points to you.

tattycath wrote: »

You insist all bills are in both names-surely if you have absolute trust it doesn't matter whose name the bills are in does it?
Mr tc and I have separate bank accounts-but it's all 'our' money at the end of the day.

sulkisu wrote: »

For me, 'insisting' that both of your names are on everything also suggests a lack of trust. If you trusted him implicitly you would be happy to have everything and anything in his name, even a magazine subscription. OH and I don't feel the need to see our names side by side on everything to feel like a real couple.

Or her name? :P
It's not about lack of trust or a need to see our names side by side, but seeing something as simple as a cheque book saying "Mr and Mrs XXXX" makes me feel great. Perhaps that's more the traditional side of me coming out, can't really explain it.
I guess it gives a level of responsibility and an effort to share our household bills. Plus means either one of us can call and talk about the account

I do understand people want to be independent these days but we're happy to depend on each other as that is part of what a relationship means to us.

anotheruser

On the other hand of how I structure my family finances though, a friend of ours has it the opposite way.

They get paid into their own accounts, one person pays for the mortgage and bills, the other pays for everything for their child.
They have arguments about this set up

GBNI

My OH and I have our own account that our salaries go in to, we then pay the same amount each into the joint account which covers mortgage and bills.
I pay petrol and groceries for the house though as he works away and is only home twice a month.
We then can use our own personal accounts for personal spends and we both have individual savings too. My OH earns considerably more than me, but treats me a lot. (IE spoils me rotten! )