One pot or separate accounts?

maman

balletshoes wrote: »

absolutely - I have 2 sisters, and we all have different financial household arrangements with our husbands.

paulineb wrote: »

You aren't your parents, what might have worked for them might not necessarily work for you.

Strangely a lot of people still seem to have a very old-fashioned way with household finances which is probably why I don't want to replicate what many members of the family do.


I still know people where the man as main bread winner keeps a tight rein on family finances to the extent where the woman doesn't really know what their income and outgoings are. They just have housekeeping. In some cases that's because he wants to control things but often the women are happy not to bother their pretty little heads with such things.


Conversely I know women who take full control of family finances and dole out pocket money.


I find both methods positively Victorian but when BIL made an off the cuff remark about 'you have a strange way of managing your money' (i.e. Shock Horror! I still have my own bank accounts!:eek:)I realised that many people are still in the 19th century with money. Or maybe what I mean is that despite there being huge strides in equality in society, many people still have very old-fashioned relationships.

paulineb_2

maman wrote: »

Strangely a lot of people still seem to have a very old-fashioned way with household finances which is probably why I don't want to replicate what many members of the family do.


I still know people where the man as main bread winner keeps a tight rein on family finances to the extent where the woman doesn't really know what their income and outgoings are. They just have housekeeping. In some cases that's because he wants to control things but often the women are happy not to bother their pretty little heads with such things.


Conversely I know women who take full control of family finances and dole out pocket money.


I find both methods positively Victorian but when BIL made an off the cuff remark about 'you have a strange way of managing your money' (i.e. Shock Horror! I still have my own bank accounts!:eek:)I realised that many people are still in the 19th century with money. Or maybe what I mean is that despite there being huge strides in equality in society, many people still have very old-fashioned relationships.

I think so. Ive never been married or even lived with someone, so Ive always managed my own money, in the rare event that I ever do get married, I think I'd still want to do the same.

trailingspouse

We have a joint account, and all our expenditure comes out of that account. We also have two savings accounts in separate names and any surplus goes into those. We keep those pretty equal too (so, if OH needs to dip into savings for something, but there's more money in mine than in his, we would use mine. It's all 'ours' really. )

But we're in the odd position of both earning exactly the same amount of money, to the penny, so there's no power struggle.

ironman1

Surely the 'normal' thing to do is-
.One joint account (for mortgage/rent/bills/food shopping
.One sole account each (for personal spends)

I mean if you have just one account per couple what happens at birthdays etc? 'Oh this is a lovely new jacket, thanks love must have cost a fortune' *checks joint account, sees it was a tenner*

tayforth

I have always had my own account and managed my own finances, and I always will (whether or not I ever marry or live with someone again). Joint accounts for bills and expenses are fine, but I would still want my own individual account, and for my partner/husband to have his as well.

But each to their own.

lostinrates

ironman1 wrote: »

Surely the 'normal' thing to do is-
.One joint account (for mortgage/rent/bills/food shopping
.One sole account each (for personal spends)

I mean if you have just one account per couple what happens at birthdays etc? 'Oh this is a lovely new jacket, thanks love must have cost a fortune' *checks joint account, sees it was a tenner*

Personally I couldn't care less if my gift was a tenner , a pound, a hundred, or ten thousand, if it were affordable and something I loved, I also don't mind knowing or not knowing. The value in a gift is not monetary, its being cherished. As it is I am not a gift person, so the wrong person to pass judgement on gifts! I asked that something we are doing for the house was nominally my 'gift' this year.

F1F93

We share all our money. We have a joint account for bills etc, and the rest of our money is in high interest current accounts. So they are sole accounts, but we dont treat them as such - we consider them all to be joint money.