One pot or separate accounts?

Beckyy

One joint pot for bills/household costs and joint accounts for saving and various expenses. Own accounts for wages to go into and personal spending, money is transferred from them to joint ones each month.

Not sure how I'd buy birthday presents without the surprise being spoiled if all accounts were joint!

heartbreak_star

Separate accounts, I pay him my share of bills.

HBS x

catkins

We opened a joint account when we got married over 30 years ago and it works fine for us.


Over the years we have both, at different times, been the main wage earner but all money has always been "ours".


I now don't work so if we had had separate accounts I guess we would have changed to joint anyway.


I pay all bills and personally could not have been bothered messing about transferring money from one account to another

minerva_windsong

Our salaries get paid into our individual accounts, and then we put money into a joint account for rent, bills (except for our phones) and food. This is roughly equal as we earn a similar amount. Then the money left in our individual current accounts is ours to do with as we wish. We don't have any children yet but when we do then money for their upkeep will come out of the joint account (with, of course, increases in how much we put in). We also have separate ISAs to help us maximise our savings as we're hoping to buy a house later this year.

I like this set-up as it means that we still have our own money and a degree of independence. I actually think having one pot would make me feel quite restricted because I'd worry I was wasting 'our' money if I was spending more than the bare minimum on things - whereas with separate pots, if I can afford a little treat like coffee and cake when I'm out then I won't feel guilty about it. Similarly, whilst both our names are on the bills for big things like the rent, electricity etc I would feel guilty if they were on the smaller things, almost like I was asking my OH to pay for 'my' stuff if that makes sense.

Woolwich_Kim

Those with different pots for joint and personal things, does that mean you carry different cards and pay for things depending on what/who it's for?

What if, say, you're in sainsburys and buy food for the family buy also whilst there you buy your car some accessories and some clothing for yourself. Do you then make 2 separate transactions and pay from different cards?

Another reason why I would prefer the 'everything one pot' set up is because that's what my parents have always had therefore being the only set up I have seen.

themull1

I have one current account , one savings account, and my own account to save for housey things, husband has one joint account, one savings account and he puts money in my housey account. We would never be financially linked as my husband has a bad credit history, but with my first husband i had a joint account, and it was a pain to close, i would never have one again even if my husband didnt have bad credit.

jaylee3

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

What's your set up in your relationship and why?

I've always liked the idea of everything one pot. I think it's easier and causes less resentment.

Definitely all together. Both wages go into one account. Why have a separate one?

The only people I know who insist on separate accounts, are women whose husbands have taken control of the finances for 20-odd years while they stayed at home with the kids, and at 40-something they went out to work, and now they want control of their own finances.

Me and DH have both always worked, and have one account only - our wages go in and our bills come out and we buy what we want when we want it.

Never understand the need for separate accounts. Seems odd if you're a close couple, and it suggests a lack of trust, or that you're trying to hide something. (To me anyway.)

Newly_retired

We have now got a joint account for household bills and our own separate accounts. I'm a saver, he's a spender, but this way it doesn't matter. We each do what we want with our own money. We each have children, now grown up, from previous marriages, so another advantage is that we don't need to quiz each other about what we may have spent on them. It works.

Previously he paid all the utilities, mortgage, council tax etc from his account, to which I contributed, but I worried that if he died suddenly, his account would be frozen and it would take a while to sort this out and important bills might not get paid in the meantime. Now we have resolved that one.

JIL

We have a joint account in both our names. It has internet banking and most of the bills are paid out of it. Only husband does not know how to access it. I have talked him through it and shown him. But if I asked him to transfer some money he wouldn't have a clue. He has a credit card on the account from the same bank, mostly used for petrol, but again he wouldn't know how to pay it. He has a cashcard which he uses to take money out. He will take out £30 and it may well last him two weeks.
We do talk about holidays and big purchases and he will ask how much we have in savings or in the current account.
He never moans if I overspend and he's really pleased to see we have our savings and mortgage overpayments. He will ask most months if we have managed to save anything. The only thing he insists upon is giving the adult children largish sums of money at Christmas. Probably because they don't earn much. I cannot really argue when he earns the majority of our cash and spends very little on himself. If I really moaned at him I know he would take more of an active roll, but it works for us and he obviously trusts me.

maman

Newly_retired wrote: »

.....but I worried that if he died suddenly, his account would be frozen and it would take a while to sort this out and important bills might not get paid in the meantime. Now we have resolved that one.

I tell him not to be so morbid but that's one of the reasons DH and I have separate accounts plus the joint one for household bills. DH is adamant that we should each be able to access money whenever we need to.


On the wider point, I really don't see having a joint account as a symbol of love and commitment. We may be married but we're still individuals. I see having my own money and my own account(s) as independence to spend on whatever I choose (once bills are covered of course). I'd hate it any other way but each to his own.