One pot or separate accounts?

Tiglath

Incomes and outgoings treated as joint so we have equal spending money, but most of it comes out of my account so DH transfers a set amount to me each month. A joint account wouldn't work primarily because I'm methodical and always know to the penny what's in my account, whereas he doesn't have a clue and is constantly surprised when the ATM won't give him any money! Our savings are in my name because he only wants to operate a current account.

paulineb_2

anotheruser wrote: »

I'm a bit like Tropez.

We both get paid into our own accounts, then transfer 3/4 of it to a joint account, thus leaving us with our own spending money (presents and such) but the joint account for bills, shopping and everything like that.

This way we get the best of both worlds.




A bit like pocket money? :P



I sort of agree but then at the same time, having separate accounts (for me) doesn't seem like living together properly.

I insist that all bills be in both of our names. Car insurance, phones, magazine subscriptions, some things can't be helped but would you allow a house to be in one persons name? Do you not trust the person you are with completely?
For me, I simply see people who operate separate accounts don't trust their partner - but I can be very short sighted sometimes.

I bet my mums friend wished they had separate accounts. The thing about trust is, people can break it.

They had been married a very long time when he left, over 25 years.

Sometimes you dont know what is going through someone elses mind.

Im sure she did trust her husband completely, but he broke that trust and took every penny that was in their joint account.

Keeping separate accounts doesnt mean you think the worst will happen. But if it did happen and someone upped and left you without a word at least you wouldnt be penniless.

Thats the worst case scenario, but thats what some people go through.

balletshoes

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

What's your set up in your relationship and why?

I've always liked the idea of everything one pot. I think it's easier and causes less resentment.

we've done everything in one pot - when money was tight and we needed to know pretty much down to the last pound what money we had coming in and going out, it worked.

However - we no longer have one pot, for a couple of reasons. I suppose its also down to what you're used to - I had about 15 years of working and paying my own way, having my own money, my own budget, my own spends, before I started living with my OH (or any partner). So going back to having that, and having a set amount going from me and from him into the household bills, works way better for me and my OH.

Hermia

anotheruser wrote: »

I'm a bit like Tropez.

We both get paid into our own accounts, then transfer a set amount to our joint account, thus leaving us with our own spending money (for presents and such) but the joint account for bills, food shopping, clothes, presents from us to other people and everything like that.

This way we get the best of both worlds.




A bit like pocket money? :P



I sort of agree but then at the same time, having separate accounts (for me) doesn't seem like living together properly.

I insist that all bills be in both of our names. Car insurance, phones, magazine subscriptions, some things can't be helped but would you allow a house to be in one persons name? Do you not trust the person you are with completely?
For me, I simply see people who operate separate accounts don't trust their partner - but I can be very short sighted sometimes.

I think you can love and trust someone, but still accept that people change and situations change. I describe myself as a pragmatic romantic in that I can love someone and still accept that it may turn sour one day. I don't think I would ever financially take advantage of someone, but I would not be insulted if a man protected himself.
You also don't know how a nice person could change if they are influenced by someone else (i.e. new partner).

Fredula

We have a complicated system at the moment (a lot of piggy banking).

I like the idea of having our own money paid into our own account and then equally pay the bills, but then when you factor in children to that equation, who pays for the child's things like toys, clothes, etc? And what happens with money for food shopping?

balletshoes

Fredula wrote: »

We have a complicated system at the moment (a lot of piggy banking).

I like the idea of having our own money paid into our own account and then equally pay the bills, but then when you factor in children to that equation,
who pays for the child's things like toys, clothes, etc? And what happens with money for food shopping?

thats all household bills to me.

Hermia

Fredula wrote: »

We have a complicated system at the moment (a lot of piggy banking).

I like the idea of having our own money paid into our own account and then equally pay the bills, but then when you factor in children to that equation, who pays for the child's things like toys, clothes, etc? And what happens with money for food shopping?

Would you not just agree a sum you will transfer over each month?

Woolwich_Kim

paulineb wrote: »

Whatever works for people works for people. If thats joint accounts or separate accounts fair enough.

If people want to have separate bank accounts, absolutely their choice.

Absolutely agree and I'm not criticising anyone for their set up.

Though I said I think it's easier or cause less resentment to have one pot, that's all very well in my (hypothetical) theory. I've not ever lived long term with a partner before.

Also, I'm slowing changing my mind a little as I've got older and I'm earning and owning more and more that I've accomplished myself. would I want to share it and risk losing it? probs not.

Tigsteroonie

I've only ever had separate accounts. With open and honest discussion about finances and a feeling of joint responsibility towards bills, I've never had any problems with who should pay what or experienced any feeling of resentment about one person having more money than the other. And that's been through a variety of relationships where both are equal earners and where one is the majority breadwinner.

Woolwich_Kim

Kayalana99 wrote: »

ETA: I also think it would cause more resentment depending on the one pot set up - i.e taking it out when you want / need it instead of splitting it evenly might make the other notice your spending more.

I can imagine in some circumstances it would cause more resentment.

I know a couple who has one pot. But one half of this couple have some relatives that the other doesn't like so resents that a gift from one is also a gift from the other.