Who is the Breadwinner?

pukkamum

Dh would love for me to be the bread winner it would mean he could stay at home with the kids, before we had kids I was the main earner and it was the plan he would stay home but then he got a much better paid job so that dream of his was shattered.
I should imagine if I was a high earner he would have nothing but pride about it.
Any man who felt bad about earning a lesser wage than his wife has serious self esteem issues in my view.

AnnieO1234

On total salary DH is the breadwinner here, but on an hourly basis (if I didn't have kids and the ability to not work full time) then I would be.

X

DigForVictory

I got into the job market before my husband & so was earning more than him steadily. When we discovered child#3 would be joining us, he took the Career Break to look after the lads (his salary only just covered two at nursery), & later was made redundant.
He describes himself as a 'Kept Man'. I count my blessings starting with him!

Georgiegirl256

All this talk of bread and bacon is making me want a bacon sandwich! :rotfl:

Woolwich_Kim

If I ever got married and have kids, I would want to stay at home as much as possible with kids. I feel strongly about this as I wasn't parented well myself and wouldn't have kids unless I was able to plan to stay at home more (of course unforeseen circumstances can alter this). Therefore that would require my hubby to be the main breadwinner.

However, I don't really want kids anyway so being in the right relationship is more important regardless of earnings.

hawk30

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

If I ever got married and have kids, I would want to stay at home as much as possible with kids. I feel strongly about this as I wasn't parented well myself and wouldn't have kids unless I was able to plan to stay at home more (of course unforeseen circumstances can alter this). Therefore that would require my hubby to be the main breadwinner.

However, I don't really want kids anyway so being in the right relationship is more important regardless of earnings.

But why would it need to be you that stayed at home? Could it not be hubby and you be the main breadwinner?

Woolwich_Kim

hawk30 wrote: »

But why would it need to be you that stayed at home? Could it not be hubby and you be the main breadwinner?

Because of the neglect I went through in childhood, it just means a lot to me to be there. I imagine I would feel a lot of guilt if I went work.

Besides, I have no qualifications and don't specialise in any specific field of work. I just have loads of working experience in admin so I'm not a high earner nor do I have the potential to be unless I re-train so almost anyone I ever meet is likely to be earning more than me anyway.

lostinrates

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

Because of the neglect I went through in childhood, it just means a lot to me to be there. I imagine I would feel a lot of guilt if I went work.

Besides, I have no qualifications and don't specialise in any specific field of work. I just have loads of working experience in admin so I'm not a high earner nor do I have the potential to be unless I re-train so almost anyone I ever meet is likely to be earning more than me anyway.

Thinking about this,

If you WERE a high income earner! and your partner earner end less! but enough for you to stay at home, I think that it would still be a valid choice, were it both your preferences, for you to do so.

Woolwich_Kim

lostinrates wrote: »

Thinking about this,

If you WERE a high income earner! and your partner earner end less! but enough for you to stay at home, I think that it would still be a valid choice, were it both your preferences, for you to do so.

If his lower salary enabled me to be at home more then that's my preferred option, if agreed with him.

If it doesn't and it was more down to me to bring home the bacon, I'm still being there, just more indirectly.

However, this is all theoretical of course as it's what I think I'd like to do IF I ever had kids. Reality could be far different.

A lot of mothers in my work place love coming to work and having adult conversations, some feel guilt and some don't.

lazer

I think it does matter actually, and it is preferable for the husband to be the breadwinner if the couple want children.


I earn the most In our marriage, and if we wanted children we would have to save up a lot before hand to cover my maternity leave.


If my husband we the main breadwinner we could afford for me to take the maternity leave.