Frugal Frump to Fab - The Journey Continues

maddiemay

LL, I am sitting here rather moist eyed, your previous post is beautifully written and offers such hope and encouragement to those who might be struggling with their perception of how they look.

When I was young I was teased (bullied in today's parlance) about the bump in my nose and used to pull my hair across my face. At around 18 I was prescribed specs and have worn successive pairs daily ever since, if anyone ever did notice my nose, the bump is now detracted from by them. Somewhere along the line I also learned that if someone does not like the look of one of my features or something that I wear, it is their problem not mine.

lessonlearned

maddiemay wrote: »

. Somewhere along the line I also learned that if someone does not like the look of one of my features or something that I wear, it is their problem not mine.

Isn't this the truth though…….Do we really care if they are so shallow.

Obviously we are judged by our appearance - of course we are - everyone is, men as well as women.

However, I genuinely think that "appearance judgements" are not so much based on our actual physical features more in the way we present ourselves.

Some of the most attractive people are not actually classically beautiful or even
pretty. Its what they do with their appearance that makes them stand out.

I'm thinking in particular of two prime examples - Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts. Neither are "pretty, pretty" in your stereotypical "Barbie Doll blonde haired/blue eyed " type. And yet both are stunning and often referred to as great beauties.

If you take a critical look at their faces neither confirm to your western ideal of beauty. Angelina's eyes seem to have a definite squint and her lips are far too fleshy and yet - she has made her lips into her signature. She is famed for her sexy mouth. Julia's mouth is far too wide and she has a long nose. Julia has traded on her fabulous wide smile and her beautiful teeth, making them part of her signature look so that you don't notice the nose. (I think she has had some work done on the nose).

Angelina usually dresses beautifully and has the most perfect posture, carrying herself with queenly dignity - showing her wonderful figure to it's very best advantage. Julia can look terrible, a real bag lady at times but she scrubs up well and knows how to lay on the glitz and glamour when she wants to.

Angelina and Julia had the good sense not to even try and go down the standard Hollywood template for beauty - cute, blonde, baby blue eyes and bobbed nose. Those kind of Hollywood Beauties are ten a penny - they make a couple of films and sink into oblivion. There are some notable exceptions of course but on the whole most of them are interchangeable.

My sister has a bump on her nose. She used to hate it - but my sister was gorgeous - no-one cared a fig about her nose, she was the only one who even noticed. She's now 51 and still looks pretty good. She takes after the Belgian side of the family and always manages the "effortless "French Chic" thing. She makes me sick:rotfl::rotfl:

My OH does call her "Wing Nuts" though (large sticky out ears, bless her).;) Needless to say she got called "Dumbo" at school. She just made sure she grew her hair and still keeps it to shoulder length thus covering the offending ears.

Where I think we are judged most is by our choices, how we present ourselves to the world. Which is where this thread comes in - it's all about making choices - not just slavishly following fashion but developing own styles.

And…… I know I drone on and on about this - but it's more to do with grooming than anything else. It's no co-incidence that the most attractive people are the ones who are well groomed and well turned out. Clean shiny hair, good skin, nice hands, a gorgeous smell. Clean well maintained clothes and nicely polished shoes.

If you want to look good - then there is no room for sloppiness, food stains, laddered tights, shabby clothes, dirty nails, worn out down at heel shoes.

These are things that we can all do and which need not cost much - just a bit of time and effort.

Oh - and let's not forget the posture…….

Wall talk and proud and you'll always turn heads, slouch and shuffle and you will become invisible.

Make the best of what you have and no-one will even notice your imperfections.

What is your greatest asset - your smile. Flaunt it - it's free.

A happy smiling face will always look attractive, a grumpy scowl can spoil even the most radiant beauty.

Time for a cuppa and then back to my paperwork sort out.

whichwhydoIturn

Morning , just reading these posts give me a lift up.
I have very dry skin and due it knocked knees and arthritis in my legs don't have shapely pins .
I do remember reading a book called if life is a game these are the rules a part of the book a lady described her legs just like mine , muscles in the wrong place , flabby , dry she hated them , unless she thought what her life would be like if she didn't have them and the limititations she may have .
So I followed that train of thought , and this week I'll be looking for a pair of shorts to wear whilst on holiday with my DGS and DD& SIL .
Just my views on one of my imperfections
Keep Fabbing it's the only way xx

Rummer

I have missed many potential life adventures as I have been concerned about my weight/appearance/what people would think and for the past year I have pushed those thoughts aside and just done what I wanted to to do.

The big step for me was taking my DS swimming for the first time. I may have had a little wobble when I saw the reality of me in swimwear however I pushed my shoulders back, lifted up my chin (held my baby over my tummy :rotfl:) and walked out there! Not one person payed any attention except to my gorgeous boy. It was lovely all being in the pool as a family and my DD loved that I was there too instead of having a coffee at the side.

As others have said there are people who battle to get through each day for various reasons and it is ridiculous that I would miss fun for the sake of some extra lbs and bit of cellulite!

On another positive note, I may actually be beginning to enjoy exercise

maman

Couldn't agree more with the sentiments about worrying how others view you. And thank you so much LL for going to the trouble of explaining your viewpoint. What makes me laugh is that I only have to read one of LL's comments about posture and I sit up straight in my chair!:rotfl:


When I was doing my moisturiser this morning I thought I'd look to see if I had creases in my neck. I have:eek: but realised they look a lot worse if I don't sit/stand up straight.;) To be honest I've got lots of 'creases' but there's not a great deal I can do about it and if anyone judged the person I am by them then I wouldn't want them as a friend. With the help of this thread, I do my best to look after myself and if that's not good enough for anyone that's their problem.


I bought this lovely skirt on Thursday
http://www.clothingattesco.com/skirts/f+f-orchid-floral-print-pencil-skirt/invt/bc413404&bklist=icat,4,shop,catgwomens,womens-skirts


It's only Tesco's but it looks so much better. Now need to decide what to wear with it.

alec_eiffel

Some fantastic sentiments there, thanks everyone.

The skirt is really nice, well spotted.

shandyclover

Rummer wrote: »

I have missed many potential life adventures as I have been concerned about my weight/appearance/what people would think and for the past year I have pushed those thoughts aside and just done what I wanted to to do.

So very true Rummer!

I am overweight, and very short, which tends to make it look even worse. Last year hubby found a very cheap ski holiday. He is a semi professional, and my 4 teen girls can ski too having been sking with him several times before. This year he desperately wanted us all to go as a family knowing soon the birdies would start flying away on their own holidays. I can't ski and was dreading how elephantine and clumsy I'd look in padded ski wear among all those svelte french ladies, but realised it would possibly be my last chance to go with the girls. I actually felt sick to the stomach about the whole thing and refused to even try on the ski wear hubby bought for me until the first morning on the slopes. As it turns out I didn't look half bad, chubby but sporty - :rotfl:Soon enough you realise everyone is far too busy trying to stay on their feet to bother judging you. I also soon noticed I was not the only overweight newbie. I learnt to ski in 3 days and loved it. Can't wait to do it again when funds allow. I came so close to missing such great memories as I had actually initially begged hubby to leave me at home!

alec_eiffel

Hi everyone, hope the weekend was long and fun.

We had a good walk on the beach on Saturday and that motivated me to do a bit more exercise so this morning I got on my exercise bike for half an hour. I'm now at that point where I can't remember why I stopped!

Floss

Alec eiffel I want an exercise bike, I need to keep my eyes open in the local paper and gumtree & ebay.

Have been to my BFs today, she lives 2 hours away so I drove down after tea last night, we somehow managed to dispose of 2 bottles of wine (:o) and then after a lie-in we went into Shrewsbury for a mooch & some lunch. I fell victim to a 25% off in Jones & bought a pair of nude patent leather heels for work, found work dress in the hospice shop and whilst browsing & testing hand cream in L'Occitane was given the most delicious fruit tea which we both went & acquired from Whittards. So a not-very MSE day but lots of fun & gossip & catching up.

We put the world to rights about everything, including my ongoing wardrobe cull to "wear more, buy less" & my new work capsule wardrobe, she has worn a uniform for the last 6 years so doesn't have to buy or think about work wear anymore. She also commented on my skin & how well I was looking - bearing in mind she supported me when I lost 2 stone & 2 dress sizes through my divorce, I take that as a massive complement and proof that my previous job was a bit on the toxic side!

Hope everyone is well, and that you are all enjoying nice weather?

Floss xx

maddiemay

Waves to Floss :wave: you have been in my County:D was in Shrewsbury last week, not shopping though:(, on Jury Service, but it only lasted 3 days:)