"i dont know why they pay you"

tir21

Caroline_a wrote: »

If you are going to take offence at something like this then you are going to go through life very disappointed and hurt. Maybe you should have asked her what she meant? You might have got some useful feedback on your working practises, you never know! Instead your response to her sounded like something I would expect to hear in the playground.

She hasn't bullied you, she made a comment you didn't like. Stop blowing this out of all proportion!

One thing I would say about most of the responces is that many seem to think that because they don't find something offensive then it isn't offensive and no one else should find it offensive or questionable behaviour

I continue to think that berating a colleague to the level that you question why they are getting paid is unnaceptable and I would not be surprise if I had a talking to from my boss if I did it to a colleague

tir21

I just wonder how many people may have had nervous breakdowns because of things said to them at work when others may have thought they should just grow a pair

I suppose they would have grown a pair if they could but maybe human psychology just isn't so simple

Its maybe important that we don't do the equivalent of telling someone with depression to just pull themselves together

I also think if someone is saying things that someone else finds upsetting then it maybe easier for the management of a company to insist the person saying them stop saying them rather than the person finding them upsetting stop finding them upsetting

Even if it might not be immediately apparent why they find it upsetting

Bantex_2

tir21 wrote: »

I just wonder how many people may have had nervous breakdowns because of things said to them at work when others may have thought they should just grow a pair

I suppose they would have grown a pair if they could but maybe human psychology just isn't so simple

Its maybe important that we don't do the equivalent of telling someone with depression to just pull themselves together

I also think if someone is saying things that someone else finds upsetting then it maybe easier for the management of a company to insist the person saying them stop saying them rather than the person finding them upsetting stop finding them upsetting

Even if it might not be immediately apparent why they find it upsetting

You really do need to lighten up a bit.

tir21

Bantex wrote: »

You really do need to lighten up a bit.

Probably ;-)

sensibleadvice

tir21 wrote: »

had a few issues with a colleague at work (she previously asked if i was gay)

recently after leaving work i had to pop back in after forgeting to do something. She was in the corredor walking to some other department. she looked me up and down with a look of disgust on her face as if i were a piece of dirt

I asked her what she was going on about - and she replied that she didn't know why they pay me

i said i could say the same thing to her - and this strange little conversation ended

is this unacceptable behaviour from her? should i tell my supervisor that im confused as to why she would say something like that

thanks

tir21 wrote: »

Forgot to say she was shaking her head as she looked me up and down.

Perhaps she recognised you'd forgotten to do something, saw you coming back and shook her head at that and your retort caused her to wonder why the company pay you when you forget to do things?

JKSandy

I would been over nice to her, wind the witch right up.

I love office drama lol

tir21

sensibleadvice wrote: »

Perhaps she recognised you'd forgotten to do something, saw you coming back and shook her head at that and your retort caused her to wonder why the company pay you when you forget to do things?

I think that would be a massive over reaction in that case

thehappybutterfly

Tir, Im very sorry but management are there to ensure the work is done, not to keep the peace / hold hands / act as a playground monitor. We're all grown ups and need to deal with things ourselves. I know it's not easy especially when you're young and maybe non-confrontational? Im old and quite non-confrontational myself but when I experienced a horrible incident myself a few months ago I had to say something to the person and get to the bottom of the problem. Otherwise it would have gone on and on with me being more and more upset.

This was with a colleague the same age as me but two grades higher. I sorted it out myself then advised my manager.

If you run straight to management or HR one of the first things they'll ask is if you have spoken to the person in question.

Ask her if she has a problem with you. If the answer is yes, find out why and take it from there. If she says no, tell her you think there is and your reasons. It doesn't have to be aggressive. Do it as soon as she does something - head on like pulling off a plaster!

The longer you ponder it the worse it'll be in your head.

sensibleadvice

tir21 wrote: »

I think that would be a massive over reaction in that case

Unlike your perception of the look on her face?