"i dont know why they pay you"

tir21

Bantex wrote: »

And?....................

Well I don't think you would do it to your boss

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

tir21 wrote: »

Forgot to say she was shaking her head as she looked me up and down.

However did you survive?

tir21

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

However did you survive?

Its not a matter of survival but a question of how we can reasonably expect to be treated by coworkers

Southend1

tir21 wrote: »

I had to enquire as to what I had done to deserve being looked at in that way. She looked me up and down shaking her head as she did so. I dont think is a nice way to treat anyone

Im not sure about sorting out our differences because I dont have any problems with her unless she does things like this

You didn't need to ask anything. All that needs saying is "when you look me up and down like that it makes me feel uncomfortable, please don't do it again"

Southend1

Poppie68 wrote: »

I have to disagree with Southend1...mediation could be a positive thing, there is obviously an issue with you and this other person and sometimes issues when left alone can escalate. I wouldn't of thought a request of mediation would lead to an admission of guilt on either parties part just a need to sort out some differences and get to the bottom of the hostility.
It could be a third party has had a hand in stirring this particular pot and is sat back enoying the fun..(just a thought!)

Much easier for management to write it off as a clash of personalities and ignore a grievance if you agree to mediation. Bullying behaviours are not provoked by the recipient, the problem lies wholly with the perpetrator.

tir21

Southend1 wrote: »

You didn't need to ask anything. All that needs saying is "when you look me up and down like that it makes me feel uncomfortable, please don't do it again"

That is thinking of the correct thing to say in hindsight. I reacted instinctively since no coworker has ever looked me up and down while shaking their head before so there is an element of being taken by surprise

I think some people may have reacted more angrily

tomtontom

Southend1 wrote: »

Much easier for management to write it off as a clash of personalities and ignore a grievance if you agree to mediation. Bullying behaviours are not provoked by the recipient, the problem lies wholly with the perpetrator.

And the most likely response to such a grievance? Mediation.

We only have one side of the story here, and on the information given I am not convinced this issue is all in one direction. I too would ask for mediation - this is not admitting fault but acknowledging there is a problem you would like nipped in the bud before it becomes more serious.

tir21

tomtontom wrote: »

And the most likely response to such a grievance? Mediation.

We only have one side of the story here, and on the information given I am not convinced this issue is all in one direction. I too would ask for mediation - this is not admitting fault but acknowledging there is a problem you would like nipped in the bud before it becomes more serious.

What, from the information given, would make you think I am in some way culpable ?

Lioness_Twinkletoes

tir21 wrote: »

What, from the information given, would make you think I am in some way culpable ?

You responded in kind when you should have ignored her. What will you do if you mention it to your manager, he stops shaking his head in disbelief at the immaturity of it all, calls your colleague in for a chat and she says "I didn't say anything" or 'S/he started it - s/he called me a dog. S/he has being bullying me for months"

Look, seriously, grow up a little. As others have said, if she makes comments, make a note of them and ignore her. At the moment there isn't enough wrong doing for a grievance.

Bantex_2

tir21 wrote: »

What, from the information given, would make you think I am in some way culpable ?

Why do you think this person is "picking" on you?