Carrot cake in the oven

liltdiddylilt

What are you doing to me! Posting that recipe. Do you want me to be so big I can't fit through doors?!?! :rotfl: my chocolate cravings are all of the time!

Glad you and DH had a lovely evening together without the spending of cash. You're right we all need to figure out how to support each other and enjoy our time together or there isn't much point being together is there. I am glad he was helpful! I find I am more and more irritated by giving up 'my time' to spend watching TV programmes with Him. Can't be a good sign really eh. It is over a year since I kicked him out now. What a year.

Hope you have had a lovely weekend I have coffee lined up with a friend I haven't seen in almost a year, and she lives 3 miles away hard juggling 2 kids (one of which has Downs Syndrome), school, nursery & 2 jobs so that we can see each other! Looking forward to a good kid free chinwag in the morning and hopefully arranging another soon!

Big hugs. Hope you're feeling ok and the lurgy hasn't resurfaced. Mine had a few on off spells before it settled in for the winter.

xx

Ali-OK

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Then DH was really lovely and helpful last night. I think my moans maybe getting through. I'm also being supportive to him as I know he has a stressy job. We really have got to work together otherwise what's the point of being together - apart from financial reasons. Was a really lovely evening and it didn't take the spending of any money to make it that way. Result.

This is so lovely to read SS and the way forward - great times together and not a penny spent. Feeling the love :T:T

Hope you feel better soon too. x

supersaver1000

Thank you Lilty. I'm sorry about the micro cake, but I am getting like a large orange on legs so it's nice of you to think about keeping me company. :j

Hope you have a nice coffee. Makes me feel like a proper grown up when I have adult coffee time . One of the perks of working.

I'm a bit up and down with DH right now. I need to get my new job underway and my confidence back and need to be sure I'm with him because I want to be. I admire you for having the strength. Xx

Thanks Ali, it's been a nice change. Had a lie in front of the fire and it seems to have done the trick

VeronicaMars

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Thanks Wf8. He's a good earner MrSS but a good spender too. I wish I'd put my foot down sooner. But you're right I need to stand firm. We're going nowhere except round in circles by spending willy nilly. I'm never sure why he wants to spend sometimes. For me it might be a decent coat that I will wear virtually every day for the next 10 years. But for him it's usually something that gives him pleasure for about 30 seconds - a night out or something that would cost the same as my item but over in a flash. We are going out with friends soon, but I don't mind the occasional night as those can be memorable. But a session with people you don't really know you can keep it. I always say if MrSS could put as much effort into supersave ing as he does into moaning about not spending we'd be millionaires (or something like that). Therefor I will hold my course and try not to let him grind me down as its for both of our good.

Veronica he spent something that someone said the company would pay for, then another boss got involved and said no. It's just his gun ho way of spending our money and then there being a problem with it. Yes he's paid it back from his own spends but he could have bought something for me with it. Not that I'm being selfish, but perhaps that's my problem - being unselfish. He used to drive everywhere for folk and say oh, I'll claim a bit extra back from work, but my point was, why not claim mileage back from work and then keep it for us and then we'll have more money for us. He's got a very odd way of looking at money, almost like it would burn a hole in his pocket. But he doesn't seem to consider that he is a family man and every penny should be for the family, not some random people for him to impress - and that his impressing other people is at the expense of our debts. And muggings is the one with sleepless nights over how to balance the books. Sorry rant over, goodness that was mad of you, not claiming that money. But similar to DH, he is almost Embarrassed about it. Me, when I'm sat enjoyeing the fruits of my labour couldn't give a dam about other people.

Doyouno I think that's the problem. To me his spending disrespects our relationship, whereas he thinks he provides and that's enough. I actually want him to be involved and try his best in every way to give us a good life, which means watchng every penny. I'm not sure how I get him to see that.

Rant away lady! That is what the forums are for! :money:

You need to be SELFISH. Sooo selfish. You are taking control of your life (and spending) back! Money is a large part of life (it is!) so you both need to be on the same page. You can't be fighting both yours and the Mr SS1000's battles.

I'm not sure how you guys split your money, but we combine both our salaries and pay all the bills, then we both get the exact same amount of money to spend (pocket money ) and the rest gets put to debt or savings.

We can spend or save our pocket money as we wish and if its gone its gone! Mr Mars used to be bad with buying lunch (I wasn't much better to be honest but he was worse ) but when he realised it was going to be coming out of his pocket money each month he got miraculously better at making sandwiches :rotfl:

Don't get me wrong, we are pretty relaxed with this concept but in general it works! We both are less frivolous with our day to day spending and almost subconsciously cap our spending each month.

I have a cold coming on and I start my new job on Wednesday! When do you start yours? I want to be top of my game for starting! So very frustrating!!!

xoxo

supersaver1000

Thanks V. We pool money too, but I only recently introduced an allowance for MrSS. Before that the joint current account took a hammering every month and partly why we are where we are. About 18 moths ago Mr SS was given a Ffffriees account and an allowance (it was in my name but he had a card). He's now been given a proper account in his own name with an overdraft so is making progress (I hope). But you are so right, the allowance has brought out the money saver in MrSS a and he is expert sandwich maker - never heard of before, although he still expects some things to come from the household (such as meals out). Ive never given myself an allowance, even when I had carp job which was a pretty good wage and tend to buy things only if I really want it and if we can afford it. MrSS earns double my wage, so I guess I could give myself half of what he has each month comfortably especially when I start my new job. Sounds fab. Thanks for that inspiration V. shows I am continuing to improve this money malarkey. I am so excited at this concept, why didn't I think of that before. :T

Ver. I always get ill before a new job. At least you've a few days break shortly after, then I'll join you. Good luck to us. :j:rotfl::T

supersaver1000

And I can use the fries account. It's ffree with an s on the end, but I'm trying to misspell it as apparently otherwise it gets picked up in search engines. Must get some slleeps now, tho excited bout my allowance. Going to dream how to save it xxxxx

Whitefeather8

I think that is an excellent idea about equal allowances. Resentment can quickly build up in a relationship where one is being unselfish and the other takes the mickey. It is much better to keep things as just and equal as possible x.

supersaver1000

Thank you Wf8. I will be paying myself £150 from my new payday. How exciting :j. I will be planning to save, but also renew my wardrobe bit by bit. In theory if I was really careful, I could fund us a little holiday. Mr SS just fritters hi. - I feel a competiton coming on - what have you done with your money this month!' :rotfl:

Felt lovely to think I'm contemplating an allowance, when just a couple of weeks ago I was panicking about whether I'd have a job in a few weeks. We're notntotally out of the woods yet, but I can see the edge of the forest ahead!

We've also got some largish expenses - £150 on the house, £300 car service, Christmas etc. so need to keep my wits about me. But am certainly looking forward to this Christmas/new year a lot more than last.

:-)

Whitefeather8

Earlier this year I treated DH to a 'groupon' trip. We had a couple of days trekking and stayed in a budget, walker's hotel overnight. It only cost £49.00 for the two of us and this included walks, bed & breakfast and afternoon tea. We met some great people from all around the world.

We enjoyed ourselves as much as if we had spent 10 times that amount.

I am sure you will have great fun with your £150.00 xx.

NoOneAround

So exciting SS to be planning nice things...so happy for you:)
xx
NOA