Carrot cake in the oven

Ali-OK

I'm :mad: on your behalf with the family stuff SS - I have it too and tend to speak and see them less and less for the same reasons. Also not engaging so there's no conversation to be had, or not telling them. It generally goes something like this frequently on the phone:

Family: How's work?
Me: Pretty good thanks
Family: How's DS?
Me: He's good
Family: How's life?
Me: Going ok
Family: How's everything else?
Me: Fine. How are you?
Family: Moan, whinge, ramble
Me: That's nice. How's everything there?
Family: Moan, whinge, ramble.
Me: That's nice. I'd better go now, speak to you soon.
Family: Bye then
Me: Byeeee :rotfl:

If I'd listened to them, I wouldn't be self employed and certainly not got an office this year.

We have to believe in ourselves and our decisions - your new company believe in you, we all believe in you, your OH and DD believe in you...time to grab the mirror and tell yourself "I'm happy, I'm clever, I'm successful"

And stick your tongue out to the family (in private of course) :rotfl:

supersaver1000

Thanks Ali. That is a good tactic, what I don't say can't be taken down in evidence and used against me - they seem to store things up just for the purpose. I feel like a bit of a wimp when I don't challenge their behaviour or some of the ways they speak about others. But they seem to do it on purpose just to argue - I'll never win because I don't think winning is the point and they aren't going to change now. Not engaging feels much better.

Feels like you've all sorted out my job, money and now my family problems. :):)

giblet1979

Anytime SS; and hugs to you too, Ali....that sounds a sadly familiar tale.

In fact, hugs all round x

liltdiddylilt

Hugs Ali - that is a fab tactic. I employ it sometimes, especially on FB, where my post audience is edited continually to allow zero feedback from unwanted's! But I have to be honest I struggle with my motor mouth and get myself into situations where my mum especially knows everything and uses it against me. Need to learn to keep schtum instead of sharing everything.

Sleep tight gang xx

supersaver1000

It's so hard, I've always been told I give too much away. It's cos we're all honest and open. But the naysayers seem to love wiping that smile off our faces. Me, I love putting a smile on people's faces - I guess the offs are just very different to us smile ons.

I'm the same as you Litly, when mums doing a good impression of a normal person, I've had a heart to heart, but years later she will bring up inappropriate things at inappropriate times. Sad though it is, I know Ali is right. Thank goodness for MSE to be able to offload our woes. Hope my DD can always pick up the phone to me, note to self to bite tongue always.

Whitefeather8

Sadly the reverse side of the coin to being a very giving, empathic person who truly cares about others, is that your opposite kind can be attracted like a moth to warmth and light.

Very quickly your energy can be sucked from you and you can get completely drained emotionally and physically, while they expand. It really is not fair.

This is Supersaver’s time to shine. Focus on yourself, DH and DD. Your true friends will be delighted that you are reaping the rewards of all your hard work.

When you feel your life force being drained, look around to spot the vampires and block their access, emotionally using shielding techniques, if you can't do so physically. xxxxx. There is an empathy quiz at the bottom of the link, I'd be surprised if you didn't score very highly.

http://healing.about.com/od/empathic/a/empathessential.htm

supersaver1000

Thanks Wf8. I like that word focus. Good advice.

in_need_of_direction

Am I the only one who thinks that there may be a link between our families undermining our self worth and overspending in pre LBMs.

supersaver1000

💡 💡 💡

Ding ding ding

liltdiddylilt

Hope you are feeling better today flower. I wish there was a magic button for getting rid of unwanted people in your life without them noticing. Like a flush, to push them into a parallel universe where you weren't the real you but they would never know.

Maybe I need to direct my attention to building robots that are so like us we can just give our families one

Today I glossed lots of skirting and window boxing white and it made me very happy. where is your happy place?