Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

lostinrates

Adrenal fatigue is interesting. Its come up a couple of times in cross references for me in the past couple of weeks and it is very poo- poo'd but seems to be plausible minor state of cortisol issues not unlike Lydia describes.

Interestingly tonight I read something about the emotional impacts of my issues and hormones and cortisol and that once you get to the state your behaviour is being impacted even once surgery happens or medication controls you might well be irreversibly impacted by the period of stress.

It makes me wonder..how long a period of stress, or behavior impact can we live through without it impacting on who we are either biochemically or just through experience and behaviour default? I really don't know. I know I am, even before this tearful ness business, very different from the person I was ten years ago, but then......one hopes there would be growth anyway.



Any, specifically about Lydia, I hold she is doing her most important job well. While I'd like her to feel better and more Lydia like its primarily for her. Because her children couldn't be lovelier or more evidently loved.

I know I am guilty of looking for silver linings to a fault but, perhaps in another scenario where you'd felt less burnt out, Lydia, you'd not be the wonderful two Christmas tree family you are, with bright children's walls in children's rooms, and that in attempt to heal your beautiful beings you'd not have let them flourish so clearly and strongly into the very definite people they are. Hard work? Sure, but, they've had space to really define themselves, with love to help them feel secure in doing so, I think this will stand them in great stead later. Perfect? Very few situations are. But, out of the sows ear you got hands the purse you made of a life for you all looks passable for silk to me.

Nikkster

You've just reminded me, saw this earlier and meant to reply.

vivatifosi wrote: »

Speaking of Behavioural Economics, is anyone else taking the exam this week? Apparently last time round the completion rate for people who took the course and got a certificate was 2.7%.

I am one of this year's 97.3%.

I completely forgot to do the week 5 test. I think it was because I got out of sync with week 4, then I was away for a couple of days etc etc.
Excuses, excuses.

Doozergirl

So sweet, lir.

Feeding them on time isn't the most important thing when you're using the energy to be kind, keep patience or simply hold on to it for other important things. They are old enough to forage for food when it's already provided in the cupboards and fridge. I can send DS to Tesco as well, as long as Pringles and Haribo are included in the budget he's provided with

Spirit_2

I posted yesterday that I was only at work on Tues and Weds this week...then got into work today to find an uncancelleable meeting in my diary for Thurs lunchtime:mad:

On the bright side I also posted about seeing our CEO to recommend an external consultant to take over some work from me. All agreed so I am pleased.

lostinrates

Doozergirl wrote: »

So sweet, lir.

Feeding them on time isn't the most important thing when you're using the energy to be kind, keep patience or simply hold on to it for other important things. They are old enough to forage for food when it's already provided in the cupboards and fridge. I can send DS to Tesco as well, as long as Pringles and Haribo are included in the budget he's provided with

See, this is where pets fail. I have to feed them and as yet, I haven't accepted the offer of generously and lovingly provided freshly killed shrew for supper.

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

Making DD go to bed on time, so I get a decent amount of "guaranteed pester-free time with sole use of the space and stuff" before going to bed myself without staying up until stupid o'clock.

At least I don't need to feed her tonight. She has been fed by the friend who had her after school because my inset day didn't finish in time for me to pick her up.

Is she ready to introduce the concept of not having to go straight to sleep if she reads by herself in bed? As she gets older she will need less sleep and this will get worse, so either she needs some time downstairs where she is to occupy herself or some time in her room. As it is eating into your precious time, for your ability to switch off, she needs to be ready for bed, be it upstairs or down. Sell it to her as being grown up, so trusted to occupy herself without having to be put to bed early.

Doozergirl

Spirit wrote: »

I posted yesterday that I was only at work on Tues and Weds this week...then got into work today to find an uncancelleable meeting in my diary for Thurs lunchtime:mad:

On the bright side I also posted about seeing our CEO to recommend an external consultant to take over some work from me. All agreed so I am pleased.

You found your silver lining without lir

Can you take time in lieu or are you giving the meeting time for free?

Spirit_2

Doozergirl wrote: »

You found your silver lining without lir

Can you take time in lieu or are you giving the meeting time for free?

I have kept a record of the big chunks of additional time as I have only worked pt for 3 months. I should work 3 days a week, but am working long days and too many days some weeks.

I may just let it go...as I have always done... do not have time for TOIL.

In my job I should be a role model for this and manage flexibility very well for my team...but I am hopeless when it comes to myself.

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Is she ready to introduce the concept of not having to go straight to sleep if she reads by herself in bed? As she gets older she will need less sleep and this will get worse, so either she needs some time downstairs where she is to occupy herself or some time in her room. As it is eating into your precious time, for your ability to switch off, she needs to be ready for bed, be it upstairs or down. Sell it to her as being grown up, so trusted to occupy herself without having to be put to bed early.

The sunshine girl is VERY capable!, Lydia has done a great job, confidence and aplomb, DH was smitten when she iced a cake with bluff and joy, but we adore those two, they really are very wonderful, a GOOD at heart people, but I think I know where Lydia is coming from with this. She's a very 'power on' person, the sunshine girl, and just totally understandably wants attention. She's bright, and confident and knows what she wants and its Lydia! but there is only one Lydia spread thin, so something has to give, and all mothers/ parents probably face that with many kids I guess?



I think she probably wants to spend time with her mother and just get some interaction, and in that way that even the resigned reaction of exhaustion is probably better than nothing,She's a real people person, like her mother actually!.

That's why I was wondering if five or ten minutes silliness or time just with her tonight giggling doing something that's 'her thing' , though exhausting , that 'minutes' of intense positive interaction might buy back some 'hours' for Lydia to have 'power off' .


The thing is, Lydia, even with her great dad, has to make all the calls self, all the decision making, not just for her like a single person , but for three, and not for three sometimes with a day off, or input from someone else, but always. That in itself is depleting. Just thinking about what's right for bedtime for one bright button in the context of the whole. But Lydia, we can at least listen. Silvercar, spirit, zag they have done it, produce successful adult or bigger children. NDG, Michael's, , doozers, are doing it now. Fir and I, haven't done it but think you and your two are special and care a lot.

Doozergirl

Spirit wrote: »

I have kept a record of the big chunks of additional time as I have only worked pt for 3 months. I should work 3 days a week, but am working long days and too many days some weeks.

I may just let it go...as I have always done... do not have time for TOIL.

In my job I should be a role model for this and manage flexibility very well for my team...but I am hopeless when it comes to myself.

There is no point working part time if it means putting in the hours without the pay!

An unmissable meeting on a Thursday is totally missable if you don't work Thursdays. It doesn't matter who you are to them. Attend this meeting, but tomorrow you need to block your diary for non working days. People don't think when they're booking you in, if your time is showing as free, people will book it. Outlook, or whatever it is you use will recognise reoccuring NWD's and grey it out like weekends.

Enough already. They are getting paid, you are not. If they want you at the meeting, find a working day.