I want my family back but they hate me

paulineb_2

The OP asked for advice on how to reconcile with his family

If he doesn't come back to the thread, I really wouldn't be surprised, at all.

Nicki

paulineb wrote: »

The OP asked for advice on how to reconcile with his family

If he doesn't come back to the thread, I really wouldn't be surprised, at all.

And the advice was: stop playing down what you did, face up to it, admit that it was wrong and demonstrate to them that you are rebuilding your life and moving on.

The further discussion has all been in the context of the first part of that advice. Minimising it to his parents and claiming to be hard done by hasn't after all worked out so well for him so far has it in terms of repairing the breach?

Georgiegirl256

The more I read this thread, the more it stinks of small minded people....do people not believe in giving people second chances anymore?

The OP has said that he realises that he has been stupid. His parents need to realise that it's not all about them, or risk losing him for good. I think their attitude is disgusting tbh.

Nicki

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The more I read this thread, the more it stinks of small minded people....do people not believe in giving people second chances anymore?

The OP has said that he realises that he has been stupid. His parents need to realise that it's not all about them, or risk losing him for good. I think their attitude is disgusting tbh.

I'm assuming that's aimed at me.

Nicki wrote: »

I point this out not because I don't think people should be allowed to start again after serving time. I actually feel rehabilitation and fresh starts are very important. I do however object strongly to parents being castigated for behaving badly by not standing by him when this is based on a false description of what has gone on.

Frankly, good parenting is about holding your children to account for standards. As I was asked directly by lottie, if a child of mine committed the offence scuffed committed and was genuinely sorry and wanting to start afresh, yes I would be standing by them and supporting them every step of the way. If on the other hand their reaction to being convicted and imprisoned for something like this was "so what, it was just a bag of green" when it was clearly far more than that, no I would not be there to support them in that lifestyle and would want to see that they had changed their ways before welcoming them back into a family with younger children still at home.

Just to be clear on my position on this.

Spendless

No idea if the OP is lying re his conviction or not, but I wanted to say though the most trouble with the law I've ever been is driving 5 miles above the speed limit, I did have had a frosty situation going on with my parents for over 11 years. During that time I worked on my own personal development (not for their sake but for mine) and when events meant we were thrown together, we were in a totally different situation than before and now are a lot closer.

My suggestion is you do the same. I know you're looking for a job from previous posts. Look into voluntary work too. What would it take to work (paid/unnpaid) with ex offenders or give talks to sixth formers/ uni students in getting involved with drugs, (taking them, selling them, carrying them for someone else). Obviously these aren't things you'll walk into doing next week but set yourself some targets, find out what you need to do to achieve them and start doing them.

paulineb_2

Nicki wrote: »

And the advice was: stop playing down what you did, face up to it, admit that it was wrong and demonstrate to them that you are rebuilding your life and moving on.

The further discussion has all been in the context of the first part of that advice. Minimising it to his parents and claiming to be hard done by hasn't after all worked out so well for him so far has it in terms of repairing the breach?

Some posters might say that the OP is trying to do all of that

Im not sure the arguing between posters is helping much either.

whodathunkit

ampersand wrote: »

#
Tosh.
Simply unsubscrbe.

Care to rewrite that in English?

whodathunkit

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The more I read this thread, the more it stinks of small minded people....do people not believe in giving people second chances anymore?

The OP has said that he realises that he has been stupid. His parents need to realise that it's not all about them, or risk losing him for good. I think their attitude is disgusting tbh.

That's rather the point though, isn't it? It's much easier to say you've been stupid than it is to accept that you've been bad.

Georgiegirl256

Not just you Nikki, there's a couple of other people too. In general, I just can't believe why the OP is getting such a hard time.

Nicki

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not just you Nikki, there's a couple of other people too. In general, I just can't believe why the OP is getting such a hard time.

Whereas my issue is the hammering his poor parents are getting from some posters on here with very few sparing even a thought to think how hurt they have been by everything or whether there may be good reasons leaving aside their hurt for their current stance.