I want my family back but they hate me

poet123

Scuffer wrote: »

Well to once again contradict you it is written in this thread and you haven't read it. You know the law better than the judge who sentenced me. If someone is found with a significant amount of drugs, a judge would only see it as a minimal role and sentence on that basis. Of course that makes sense... I mean wow you are really this stupid? Significant amount = minimal role = minimum sentence. That defies logic. If being this dumb was a criminal offense, you my love would be going down for life. Unfortunately on this occasion you are wrong, very wrong and so proved.

I am afraid she isn't wrong. The role played is a crucial component in sentencing.

I wish you well, but regardless of the time spent mulling over your part in this in prison, it seems you have given little thought to how it has affected others. Namely, your parents. I think it is normal to focus on yourself, but if you want to move forward with them you need to leave your own issues behind and honestly consider how gravely they were affected.

As a parent if one of my sons did what you did I would be mortified, not in a what will the neighbours say way (although that would play a part) but in a how did I fail him way. If that was compounded by attempts to minimise what happened I would be more upset and less likely to want to let him carry on regardless. Tough love is just that, tough on both sides, and I doubt that your parents are taking this course of action lightly. My guess is that your parents sanctioned your Aunt helping you, but cannot bring themselves to get involved until you acknowledge how much you have let them down. Get past you own problems and think about them, think about how you would feel if it was your son.

They will come around, but to them your crime was probably worse than it was to the judiciary. Think of the lives your crime ruined, the other kids affected, the other parents affected. Think about the consequences for others, and really show remorse and empathy for those people.
The consequences for you were of your own doing, they were the innocent parties in all of this, is it any wonder it is taking time to forgive and forget?

sharnad

Only story I can find is someone with first initial of F. Don't know of that's op. anyway from whats written on here op was a big stupid served his time and its sad his family won't forgive him

DKLS

OP, Now that your out, have you had a chance to catch up with your girlfriends brother?

Also tbh I can see why the parents are upset, but this just seems overboard, its not as if you were peddling drugs to kids, it was destined to be for sale at a Music festival, where there would be plenty of willing purchasers. A stupid mistake that comes with a high price, which the OP has paid.

hazyjo

Have read the first few pages... just wanted to say my BF did have a horrendous drugs past - and had major fallings outs with his family. Didn't talk to him mum for several years, but they're back in touch now and she's even sending birthday/Christmas presents again and we're staying again at Easter. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

It took for my BF to meet me, settle down, and move house for her (and other family) to have him back with open arms.

My mum doesn't know. She would be the same as yours. She says the word 'drug addict' like it reeks of s***. She has no knowledge of drugs of any kind whatsoever, so they'd all be lumped into the same box. If she knew my BF had a past involving drugs (cocaine), she'd go ballistic. She thinks they all look like they're portrayed on Casualty or Eastenders (looking like they've been on heroin for a decade, hood up and robbing houses). Am sure she doesn't see for one minute that, especially with drugs like coke, it's often people with big bucks and stressful jobs that end up down that route. It certainly ain't cheap!

Anyway, just wanted to say prove yourself, try to rebuild bridges when you're back on your feet. At the moment she has nothing good to tell the neighbours (harsh, but probably true). One day she'll love to tell them and everyone how you turned your life around and am now a [insert job] with a lovely wife and family.

Just try to improve your current life rather than letting things get you down.

We can all do stupid things sometimes. Yours had a horrendous outcome and I feel so very sorry for you when you were only guilty of making a very stupid mistake - there are people out there pushing all kinds of crap (the coke dealers in Brentwood certainly never seemed to get caught! Wish they'd take the sniffer dogs in my old local, they'd have a field day).

Jx

pinkshoes

I've just read this thread, and I want to say sorry to the OP who has asked for advice and been given a lot of unnecessary abuse.

Scuffer, your parents are in the wrong here, and should be ashamed of themselves.

If they actually knew you, then they would have known you'd just made a stupid mistake and supported you.

I would write to them saying that you are sorry that they knew so little about their son to trust him that the only think he did wrong was to make a stupid mistake ,and is certainly not a drug dealer. Tell them that you certainly regret the mistake you made, and maybe one day they can also see the mistake they are making by not believing in their son.

If you feel you have nothing to lose, then write a letter to the same paper that published the original article about you going to prison, and highlight how narrow minded some people can be.

I wish the best of luck, and it is a real shame there are so many narrow minded people out there.