I want my family back but they hate me

Tiddlywinks

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not just you Nikki, there's a couple of other people too. In general, I just can't believe why the OP is getting such a hard time.

You'll be meaning me as well then...

The OP was not just a silly boy... he was smuggling large quantities of Class A into an event for onward sale.

People die by misusing Class A drugs. People's lives are screwed up by becoming addicted to Class A drugs.

To do the crime and then try to excuse it as a simple mistake is what I cannot accept... and that is probably part of what his parents find hard too.

Better to be honest and apologise rather than continue to present himself as a victim of misunderstanding at the hands of a harsh criminal justice system.

People should get a second chance in life BUT only if they show remorse for their crimes.... and not just remorse for getting caught.

Georgiegirl256

Nicki wrote: »

Whereas my issue is the hammering his poor parents are getting from some posters on here with very few sparing even a thought to think how hurt they have been by everything or whether there may be good reasons leaving aside their hurt for their current stance.

Yes his parents are hurt, devastated, ashamed etc, they've made that well known to the OP, but at what point do they try and forgive him, or risk losing him altogether?

Tiddlywinks

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes his parents are hurt, devastated, ashamed etc, they've made that well known to the OP, but at what point do they try and forgive him, or risk losing him altogether?

Maybe when he demonstrates an understanding of what they've been through and not just thinking about his 'months of hell'.... and maybe when he stops making snippy remarks about how they think they are important! That remark stands out as an indicator of the OP's true colours.

Georgiegirl256

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

You'll be meaning me as well then...

The OP was not just a silly boy... he was smuggling large quantities of Class A into an event for onward sale.

People die by misusing Class A drugs. People's lives are screwed up by becoming addicted to Class A drugs.

To do the crime and then try to excuse it as a simple mistake is what I cannot accept... and that is probably part of what his parents find hard too.

Better to be honest and apologise rather than continue to present himself as a victim of misunderstanding at the hands of a harsh criminal justice system.

People should get a second chance in life BUT only if they show remorse for their crimes.... and not just remorse for getting caught.

Yes, you were another one included. I just can't believe the harshness towards the OP.

Yes, Class A drugs are serious and screw people's lives up, no doubt about that, but as I said above to Nikki, at what point are his parents going to take him back into their lives? Or maybe they're never going to, but they need to know their attitude could be seriously detrimental for their son. I think he now needs their support, they've made their point.

whodathunkit

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, you were another one included. I just can't believe the harshness towards the OP.

Yes, Class A drugs are serious and screw people's lives up, no doubt about that, but as I said above to Nikki, at what point are his parents going to take him back into their lives? Or maybe they're never going to, but they need to know their attitude could be seriously detrimental for their son. I think he now needs their support, they've made their point.

Perhaps they're not going to, just as many people with an unfaithful husband/wife are unable to forgive them either. Certainly, in the latter case, the possibilities of being given a second chance are going to be greater if the culprit is genuinely remorseful, fully realises the impact their behaviour has had on their family and doesn't keep making excuses for their behaviour and describing it as nothing more than stupid.

Scuffer

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Try seeing your actions through your parents' eyes.



'Think they are important' - what a spiteful thing to say - you're not quite as remorseful as you'd have us believe, are you.

Being an active part of their community IS important to them - why is that wrong?



Continuing to present yourself as the victim will not help to win over your parents... It'll just seem like an excuse.

You need to really understand what you put THEM through. This is not all about you.

They were prominent members of the community. They woke up one day and unexpectedly found out their son was sent to prison for serious drugs offences. They found out from the newspaper. You didn't give them any warnings. They had no chance to prepare themselves. How do you think they feel about that? Gutted, humiliated, suckered, hurt, scared....?

Your posts here don't seem to show any understanding about them - you just keep talking about your months of hell?

They are YOUR victims and the sooner you appreciate that, the sooner you can work out how to make amends.

Although i do agree with most of what you said, how can i understand what i put them through if they dont talk to me? I've not spoken to them for 2 years! I have no understanding because i do not know their version of events. Perhaps if they gave me a chance to explain myself then i wouldn't be feeling like a victim. I am being punished by them and do not know how to put it right. Yes i went to prison, yes i never told them but i deserve an opportunity to make amends for my sins.

ampersand

Tiddlywinks has a loop mentality - can't move on either.
Those of us who support Scuffer's forward aims, not his past crimes, will just do this and ignore the rest.
So, tw on ignore list[equivalent of flyswat], despite likelihood of ignored poster crowing about this. Such posters are unhelpful on this Thread, to op, however helpful they may be elsewhere.

Tiddlywinks

ampersand wrote: »

Tiddlywinks has a loop mentality - can't move on either.
Those of us who support Scuffer's forward aims, not his past crimes, will just do this and ignore the rest.
So, tw on ignore list[equivalent of flyswat], despite likelihood of ignored poster crowing about this. Such posters are unhelpful on this Thread, to op, however helpful they may be elsewhere.

... and someday you might write in plain English.

This is an open forum - it is not personal - so don't make it so with insults.

Scuffer

Nicki wrote: »

That clears things up nicely for everyone thanks.

Here is the link to the sentencing guidelines again http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/supply_class_a_drugs/

If this is what Scuffer was found in possession of, then his role in all of this was considerably different to what he has described. What he has described is designated a "lesser" role and a sentence of 43 months is outside the permissible range. He must have had either a significant role in the supply of drugs (where the sentence he got is at the top end of the allowable range) but far more likely a "leading" role in a drugs chain because that is the only role where the maximum sentence is 7 years for this category of drugs.

I point this out not because I don't think people should be allowed to start again after serving time. I actually feel rehabilitation and fresh starts are very important. I do however object strongly to parents being castigated for behaving badly by not standing by him when this is based on a false description of what has gone on.

Frankly, good parenting is about holding your children to account for standards. As I was asked directly by lottie, if a child of mine committed the offence scuffed committed and was genuinely sorry and wanting to start afresh, yes I would be standing by them and supporting them every step of the way. If on the other hand their reaction to being convicted and imprisoned for something like this was "so what, it was just a bag of green" when it was clearly far more than that, no I would not be there to support them in that lifestyle and would want to see that they had changed their ways before welcoming them back into a family with younger children still at home.

I always said it was a significant amount which meant a significant role. You can look back through previous posts before you even brought it up to see i've said this. The amount was significant meaning a significant role, there was no evidence linking me to the drugs trade which i have also stated. They searched my house and analyzed my phone, finding no link to the drugs trade. I was sentenced because the amount was significant. I know more than you on this because it was me stood in the dock, not you

Scuffer

Nicki wrote: »

No: he pleaded guilty to possession with intent to supply Class A drugs because that was what he did. The drugs found on his possession were Class A.

The info has dripped out over the course of the thread. If you read the first post, you would think that all he did was naively take some pot into a festival for a friend, and consequently had the book thrown at him. Its only when pushed that it came out what exactly the drugs were, and then accidentally that his role must have been more than he alleges.

Just to remind you again, in case you did not read the link, if all that happened was that his girlfriend's brother asked him to carry a bag of pot for personal use into the festival, and he was caught with a larger bag containing the more serious drugs (which is what he has said) the court could not have sentenced him to 43 months, and the maximim sentence for doing that is not, as he says 7 years.

If he got a sentence of the length he says for the drugs he says then there was evidence that his role in all this was both bigger and more knowing than he claims. There must be evidence that he was a lead player in the supply of those drugs or played a very significant role in it.

If his role was the smaller role he claims, to have been given a sentence of the length he describes, the drugs were a lot more serious and in bigger quantities than he claims.

It is of course up to you to believe what you want to believe, but I didn't sit up and create an external link to a faked up CPS website to cast doubt on OP's story

No offence love but you know nothing you haven't even read the threads properly and posting on an assumption. It was 4 counts of possession with intent to supply class A & B 2 A class 2 B class. If you would of read the thread you would know it wasn't only class A. I honestly believe you are some form of highly strung troll who can only be right all the time, even when the facts are already written you still go with your own opinion on version of events which happened in my life. You know my life? Ern no! You know what happened? Erm no because you haven't even read the thread properly. I can acknowledge my mistakes, i think you should do the same because what you have posted against written fact makes you look like an a*r*s*e.