Depression Support Thread

meyore

juno wrote: »

I've had a really bad day. I had a panic attack earlier, and I haven't had those for years so I thought I was over them I've spent most of the day in tears.

And my stupid postman left a parcel outside even though it's been raining all day! Luckily it's ok, but the jiffy bag was soaked through and muddy.

Aw juno, I can relate. Recently I've been having those anxious feelings again and I had a panic attack on my birthday for the first time in years. Its a horrible feeling isn't it. (((HUGS)))

I doubt this will be any help, but I found the way I got myself feeling a bit better when it was happening, was to get out a notepad and write down exactly how I was feeling an what I was thinking. When I saw it on paper it didn't seem so bad.

Glad your parcels ok though, you could report the postman if you're up to it-I think it was stupid of him to leave in the garden, where anyone could steal it and it got wet.

Xx

meyore

cat9586 wrote: »

Hello to new faces and familiar faces. This thread is always so busy I find it hard to catch up.
Tonight Im not feeling so good, I have to go to my new psychiatrist on Tuesday which is in the same building as the last one. Im so scared that history is going to repeat itself or Im going to bump into the last one. Tonight I feel physically sick, my head hurts, my breathing is faster than usually and I feel shakey and want to cry. I dont want to go, I really dont. I slept most of Sunday, its the way I block things out and I want to be somewhere else. As weird as it sounds I want to be in some sort of accident so I dont have to go. My OH must be worried as earlier he took away my sissors
I just needed to talk.
Sorry

Hi cat, I hope thngs are a little brighter for you today. (((HUGS)))

I hope things go ok tomorrow, I'm sure you needn't worry and things will work out ok. Thinking of you

Xx

meyore

gillette147 wrote: »

Don't think I slept more than an hour last nite. Becoming a sunday nite habit.
Then an overturned lorry on the M40 meant I got here (to work) an hour late.
So tired. I haven't done anything but surf on here. I have stuff to do but I will knuckle down after lunch break- have to!
Just got to get to hometime and some rest.

Hi and hugs to you all
xxx

I saw on the news this morning that Sunday nights are the worst nights for sleeping. On an average night most people lose 50 minutes sleep worrying, but on Sunday nights its doubled! I'd say I lost a lot more than that last night!

Also they say toady is the most depressing day of the year, as its a month after Christmas and all the bills are coming in! :rotfl: If you didn't laugh, you'd cry...

Xx

meyore

dawnylou wrote: »

Oh that was yesterday - today is different.
I hardly slept a wink AGAIN. I am sick of waking up every couple of hours and then struggling to get back to sleep over and over again. I will never cope when I get back to work if I can't even get a decent nights sleep!!!
I am at docs at 10 past 9 - it's a half hour walk so Mam said she would get the bus through and meet me at town and we could go round shops and then go out for lunch, but now she just phoned to say work had called her in! They will try and get someone to cover her at 11, but I bet no-one else gives up their day off!!!

Anyway if someone does cover her after docs I will be walking home in the rain to walk back down to meet Mam to walk home again.
I could always sit in the coffee shop for a couple of hours - but then what if she can't make it??
:mad::mad::mad::mad:
Why couldn't she have said 'no I have plans'???

Oh why do such stupid things really get to me????

I am the same with my friends too. I have friends, but I would never trouble them.
Hardly any of them even know I am on medication or anything.

My Fiance is most certainly my best friend - and it is a wonderful feeling. He is the one person who would never let me down. Ever.
I honestly believe if it weren't for him I would be dead by now.

Anyway better get ready to go - hope everyone else has a better day than I will! :rolleyes:

Hi dawny, I hope today got better for you. (((HUGS)))

I'm sure your mum wouldn't have let you down if she thought it would upset you-she probably was just trying to please everyone.

Xx

meyore

slowlyfading wrote: »

:hello: well, I've not SHed for two days now, so I guess that's an achievement I'm up to my eyes in work, I've been in the library all morning, but yes, his comment did make me like all weekend! lol :rolleyes: how are you today?
sf x

Hi sf, well done for not SHing glad you're doing well.

I'm ok, thanks for asking. Been a bit anxious again recently, but I hate my doctor, so I don't really want to go. Busy trying to get my stupid house sale through so I can get paid off and I think I'll feel better then.

Xx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Horace Sorry to hear about your bad experience with Lloyds pharmacy. Go to Alliance Pharmacy instead, not that I'm biassed or anything

It sounds like you had a good time at the craft centre and picked up a few bargains while you were there

So many of us on this thread seem to just want to sleep all the time. Perhaps it's to do with the weather. Even the daytime looks like nightime atm. It just makes you want to curl up in bed under the duvet and sleep.

Did you end up going to the work meeting today? What you've found out about the company is quite worrying. I would do a little more investigating before making a decision about working for this company.

CCStar How did your sons business venture go yesterday?

Do you know what you are going to do yet in terms of living arrangements?

What kind of job would you like?

dawnylou There is no need to apologise hun. We're here to help each other through the bad times.

If you're psychologist appointments are coming to an end and your GP isn't particularly helpful who can you contact for support? Do you have a CPN/social worker?

It's seems like your week got better towards the end I bet your hair looks lovely. Did it make you feel good having your hair done, wearing new clothes and doing your make-up?

You're sounding really positive :T

CBT basically helps to change how you think and what you do. I remember completing various worksheets with my social worker. It was kind of like a flow chart. It would have different headings like situation>thoughts>emotions>physical feelings>action. Basically we'd then go through a situation filling in the different headings. Then we'd look to see if it was helpful/unhelpful and if it was negative we'd try and see if we could turn it into a positive. CBT does seem to benefit a lot of people and I would definately recommend it if you haven't tried it already. It sounds like you have a lot of negative thoughts etc so this kind of therapy might be really helpful.

BizzyBek Great news that the panic attacks are less frequent Is it down to coping methods? medication? Whatever it is lets hope they never return

I hope the new painkillers help your Mum.

Does your local pharmacy not offer a prescription delivery service?

slowlyfading What an awful thing to have happened to you at college. People can be so nasty can't they! They just don't seem to think how their actions may affect people. (((HUGS))) to you. I do have MSN. You can add me if you want. Just click on the msn icon underneath my avatar.

Poppycracker :hello: It's nice to see you post. How are you? How's things?

Above my manager is the area manager who she has now got involved

gillette147 :T :T :T re: work. What a nice email to receive from you boss. Well done you! You must be really pleased. You deserve praise for all the hard work you've put in.

Woof Thanks for replying (((HUGS))) Hope you're OK.

Sazbo :hello: How are you?

ilovegreatdanes I don't feel like I have anyone at work whom I can talk to. The area manager is just going to be on her side and I just feel like it's them against me makes me so mad what she's done :mad:

I've had a look on the BBC webiste but can't find anything recent. Do you know what day it was on?

Make sure you delete your history so that OH wont be able to see what sites you have visited. I hope by helping me it hasn't caused any problems for you with your OH.

Anyway, enough about me. How are things with you? Been up to much?

Diamond78 Welcome to the thread :hello: Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with us. You've had such a difficult time but the great thing is you've managed to get yourself through the worst. It takes courage to admit that we suffer from depression and I guess you're right, we have to admit that something is wrong and be willing to accept help in order to get better. Your post is really inspiring. (((HUGS)))

I hope you continue to post on this thread. You're very welcome here.

You say you want to help, I think just being there for others when they are feeling low is sometimes the best help going. I know from personal experience all I've wanted is someone just to take some time and listen to me and just be supportive.

I would just like to say what a great Mother you are. You've had to cope with being depressed, being alone and having to raise a child by yourself with no help from family/friends. That is remarkable. You really should feel proud of what you've achieved. Never give up.

Grace :hello: It's nice of you to post. I often wonder what it's like for those around us that have to cope with a family/friend who is depressed. How is it for you? Do you find it difficult? Is it hard to know how to help?

Miss tbc I know you don't really want to take anti-depressants again but if they help you to feel a little bit better then surely it's a good thing. You might not have to take them for long. Perhaps with a combination of talking therapy and medication you will soon start to feel better (((HUGS)))

stephb1986 Are you feeling any better today?

antronella Sending you a big (((HUG))) How have you been hun?

My work are aware of my depression and self-harm. I see a psychiatrist and social worker (work know this) and last year work sent me to see a Bupa Doctor who said I was fine to work. I just wish my manager would stop interfering and making me feel even worse. :mad:

gario900 Not long to go until your holiday I'm sure you'll start to feel excited the nearer it gets. It sounds like you could do with a holiday and I'm sure it will do you the world of good.

meyore Hello. Did you manage to speak with the assistant manager today?

lol I forgot my handbag only the other week. I was so busy making sure I had the eBay parcels with me that I completely forgot my bag! It was nice of your Mum to bring you your bag. It's horrible being without it isn't it. Kind of a strange feeling 'cos a girls handbag has everything in doesn't it

Free Clinique stuff :T lovely!

Awww it sounds like you and your OH had a great weekend together. Will you see him this weekend? Any plans?

Sorry to hear that you're experiencing anxiety problems. Do you know what you're anxious about? Have you made an appointment with your GP?

I'm not looking forward to the meeting with the area manager. I just feel like it will be those two against me. I will probably just fall apart and they will be like right you're not stable enough to cope with the course blah blah blah. I work everyday Mon-Sat and I'm working towards an NVQ 3 in pharmacy services. It's done via distance learning.

Awww I'd love to meet up with you if you're ever passing this way. That would be really nice

Karrie (((HUGS))) Please don't feel bad about coming back here for support, it's what we're here for.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Do you have any family that you can confide in or talk to just to help you through your grieving process. We're always here but I know sometimes you just need someone actually there with you.

Please don't blame yourself for feeling this way. You are in no way a failure. As others have said, depression is an illness. It is not your fault. Don't be afraid to go back to your GP and get some help. I know you want to be able to get yourself out of this depression but sometimes we have to accept that we need a little help along the way. It isn't a sign of weakness.

Please keep posting hun.

clipboard2 :hello: nice to see you post. Hope you're well.

cat9586 Sorry to hear you're feeling so low/anxious. Why are you not wanting to go to your psychiatrist appointment? What worries you? (((HUGS)))

I hope it goes well tomorrow.

shazrobo Hope you had a good day and enjoyed your guitar lesson. If it's helping you with your depression then that's great :j I think being able to play a musical instrument is a good skill to have, one I've never seemed to be able to grasp.

Oops just seen your other post. Sorry that your day didn't go as planned

blinky Awww how exciting. Hope it all goes to plan :j

juno (((HUGS))) Do you know what caused the panic attack?


Ugh :mad: I found out today that in fact 2/3 employees were told about my self-harm on Friday. !!!! sake! Well not long until Wednesday. I have a Doctor's appointment before i see the area manager. I'm getting even more worried and anxious about the meeting. Beginning to get quite tearful about it too. I just want it to be over. I can just see myself falling apart and looking a right mess.

Cut myself last night. Another 3 open wounds to deal with. I tried to put steri-strips over the wounds to hold it together to stop the bleeding/reduce scaring but it's hard to do it one-handed and needless to say they kept coming off.

Well I'd best be checking into my bed. GOODNIGHT everyone xxx

Stephb1986_2

Hi RBK im feeling a bit better today ive managed a chip buttie thats all since saturday so im doing well. How are you doing? I hope your ok. who told your collegues about you self harming? its non of their business!

Im still trying to rack my brain of what to get my OH for valentines day

I hope your feeling much better soon. hugs love and kisses

Stephb xx

cat9586

meyore wrote: »

Hi cat, I hope thngs are a little brighter for you today. (((HUGS)))

I hope things go ok tomorrow, I'm sure you needn't worry and things will work out ok. Thinking of you

Xx

Hello Meyore,
Thanks for the encouragement Been a bit of a mess the last few days, very panicky yesterday and today. Been crying a lot as well. Still dont want to go

xx

cat9586

razorbladekisses wrote: »

cat9586 Sorry to hear you're feeling so low/anxious. Why are you not wanting to go to your psychiatrist appointment? What worries you? (((HUGS)))

I hope it goes well tomorrow.



Ugh :mad: I found out today that in fact 2/3 employees were told about my self-harm on Friday. !!!! sake! Well not long until Wednesday. I have a Doctor's appointment before i see the area manager. I'm getting even more worried and anxious about the meeting. Beginning to get quite tearful about it too. I just want it to be over. I can just see myself falling apart and looking a right mess.

Cut myself last night. Another 3 open wounds to deal with. I tried to put steri-strips over the wounds to hold it together to stop the bleeding/reduce scaring but it's hard to do it one-handed and needless to say they kept coming off.

Well I'd best be checking into my bed. GOODNIGHT everyone xxx

Heya,
Still nervous about tomorrow. Your boss had no right telling people about your private life, I dont think people realise that sometimes they are making things worse rather than better. I hope your arm heals, talk to the dr when you see him.
Sleep well
Catherine xx

meyore

Hi RBK. I spoke to a guy at work today, but I've got this sneaking suspicion it may not have been the right thing to do. We'll see anyway I guess. I'm battling with myself about seeing the doctor tomorrow. You've probably guessed I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to going there anyway. I just can't stand the way they act as if I'm in the wrong.

I hope you can stay strong for you're meeting with the area manager. Is there no one you can take in for support, because they can't deny you that and it might help.

Sorry to hear you're still self harming, glad you're looking after your cuts though. Just try to be strong and don't beat yourself up over it (((HUGS)))

I think OH is back again this weekend, but its my weekend to work so we won't be doing much if he does come back. I have a few weeks off soonish and I'm trying to convince him to let me come and stay up there for a bit. I will let you know on that one.

Xx